Am I the problem?

Hi everyone!

I’ve never really been optimistic. As matter of fact, I always want to die when I talk to someone about an actual problem (already negative and most of the time colossal) and they spin me with the ‘it’s going to be alright’ sticker on my forehead. That tells me that they really want me to throw them in the fountain and walk away.

I know it sounds contradictory to most of my posts because I spend half of them telling you (and me) that everything happens for a reason and how to fix your current situation that I know too well. Today, after a failed conversation with my mom, I started writing this post mainly to identify a problem, rather than to fix it.

I had difficulty sleeping last night and I had those life questions scary nights. Where do I see myself in a year? Do I really want to get married? Am I built for relationships? Can I really raise 6 kids? Why am I not a millionaire? Am I still afraid of driving? Am I overloaded with other people’s problems? Why does my blog/channel not do that well? Why don’t I like to teach myself how to make myself pretty? Why don’t I like gyms? Why does my body hurt so much? When am I going to die? Will my kids do what I tell them? Do I want to raise them as a single mom? When am I getting a dog/cat? When am I renewing my license? Who takes care of me when I run out of fuel from taking care of others? When will I be truly happy? How will I know if I’m truly happy?

Drama right? I have these questions swirling in my mind, giving me heartburn! It’s not like I have all the answers but I truly feel so drained and absolutely exhausted! I think my brain has had the biggest crisis for the longest time. The moment I unplug for 4 days my mind literally lost it.

In a way I’m thankful this is happening because like I mentioned in my previous post, this is major decisions year and it was naïve of me to think that I will make one major decision and expect everything to fall into place. There are so many frustrating things. I think sometimes you can get lost in all that is happening around you and that causes RIDICULOUS PRESSURE. It’s so crucial in this time to know exactly who you are and what exactly makes you happy. You have to learn to switch off your mind to things you can’t change. And always speak (repetitively) good things into your life that will help you through those stubborn wrinkles that life gives you.

You can get so distracted by what other people are doing and certain choices they make. You can get so consumed with comparison. You can even spend nights awake thinking that you are just made ‘wrong’ and that you are the only person of your kind left on earth. You can even feel so misunderstood. By others and by yourself. However, always do something that you are conscious of. Always own your space. At the end of the day, only you can explain yourself to YOU.

Don’t let the river carry your body downstream.

Be present.

God KNOWS.

Making critical decisions

Hi Everyone!

It’s been exactly 3 months since my last post and almost 3 years since I felt really excited about my life and what’s to come. Today I think I feel more than ready to get back into blogging and the rest of my online life. So many things have changed! People have left and there are new people. Most of the women I follow are now moms and I would say some have had some procedures done – from boob jobs to fixing their teeth! What a time to be alive!

Recently I realized that I’ve creatively starved myself for so long and it’s so hard to get back into the groove. I think I’ve had tunnel vision for the longest time so it’s so hard to figure out where to start. I’m going to let you guys in on some changes. I’ve moved back home and got a new job. I’ve also sold my car (It’s been a year now) which still makes me an amateur driver and my mom won’t let me drive her car. My brother also moved back home which is driving me insane because we can only get along properly long distance. And my adopted sister is still in school which means that I share my room with her which is unacceptable at my age because I’m really missing out on night shift calls! LOL!

So how did we get here? All I can say is that we’ve had to make some critical choices and that’s what the rest of my life is going to be about. That is being deliberate. I’ve spent way too much time letting the river drag my corpse down to an unknown place. I want to be deliberate and even more specific about why I’m here. I’ve always wanted to travel but it always ended up no further than my wishlist and I’ve always wanted to be socially involved and I guess I get to do that with what I do know. I’ve also always wanted to be financially independent and I’ve made some hard choices that will hopefully help me get there.

Here’s the thing about critical decisions – they are never easy. Especially if you are a low risk person like me. You always want to make the right choice and never want it to have any consequences. I think this time around I really believe that ‘you do your best and God does the rest’ because of the way certain things happened - it just can’t be a coincidence! It’s all about that ‘off a cliff’ moment, when you know that God will catch you. You also have to allow change into your life. It might not be upward(or what others would consider upward); it could be a curve or a turn to the left that will eventually go up.

I’ve always considered the 20’s to be learning years. It can be intimidating when your peers or friends already know what they want but I really believe in that small voice. You always heard it when you chose the ‘wrong’ thing, it will eventually steer you toward the right thing because it has that peace factor that you can’t replace or find anywhere else no matter how far you look.

Life is a precious gift. This has been said a thousand times!

This time, treat it like one.

How to ease up your guilty conscious

Hi everyone!

I have a little bit of a writer’s block because I have an insane amount of stress (& heartburn) at the moment which is really good for lifestyle posts because then I have an urgent need to talk about it. I have no idea how I’m going to spend my time this weekend because I also have to go home (3 hours away) because I’ve been summoned to take measurements for my cousin’s upcoming wedding at the end of April. Solution would be to send the measurements right? Try telling my mom that.

So with all the political madness going on it has become even more important to build your own world because you can’t let the national negativity get you down. Neither should you allow  the international depression (Trump is still there. What is happening in Syria?)to trump your spirits. It’s very hard for us (let’s say educated black people) to move back home to minimize fixed costs and to try different jobs seeing that there’s already such a huge unemployment rate in our city and overall country. So sometimes you are stuck in your job.

This year I was supposed to add an academic element in my last year of articles but in order to set myself free I did not register for it and I did not notify my boss. You can imagine what a huge violation that is. I did not resign because I can’t move back home and start over. Thank you, Black Tax. And it was difficult to even get a job I’m over-qualified for. I still don’t know how that’s possible. So I effectively decided to just finish the year and add my completed articles to my CV. Sometimes I want to put it there as ‘3 years of intense slavery’.

So for the first month or so I was riddled with guilt because I have long asked him to be transparent because he’s always late and tells you about a meeting with a client 10 minutes before and expects you to know everything about it by the time you reach their offices. Even after that has been addressed with him, it seemed like he sees lateness and non-transparency as a lux lifestyle so I’ve decided to accept it that about him. Guess where I got my training from? I guess Daddy trained me well.

So how can you stop feeling guilt over something you did but did it for the right reason?

1.       Ask yourself if you could have done it any other way

2.       Ask yourself if this option lets you sleep better at night

3.       Ask yourself if you’re willing to deal with the consequences

4.       Ask yourself if this decision, other than the guilt, makes you happy

5.       Ask yourself if it will bring out new change

Last year I was severely depressed. I used to take sick days multiple times of the year because I did not have the strength to get up to go to work. It’s when I first discovered that your job can actually make you sick. So how did I apply the above?

I could have told my boss but he would have convinced me to register, backed up by legislation requirements (aka legislation threats). He would have also made work hostile because I wanted to ‘retaliate’. So there was no other way. Since making a new path I’ve become more excited about my evenings and weekends because I get to learn something new. I could get fired or my salary could get affected (consequences). Other than the temporary guilt I have been feeling much happier this year. It was hard at first but I’m definitely becoming more care free and happy. I’ve totally embraced the new change! It’s still a bit hard but it’s happy hard. Time management is still a bit of a problem and I’ve had to get used to writing again (for my assignments) so it’s a work in progress.

So you can see how the combination of addressing these questions was able to ease up a bit of the guilt. And it’s also a plus if the corresponding person makes it easy by being an uncontrollably inconsiderate person!

Put yourself first! Be brave!!

xx

How emotional turmoil can be physically evident

Hi everyone!

Something weird is happening. Yesterday I was in the middle of a sale of one of my assets and I was just overcame with insane anxiety. I had to submit an assignment last night and it’s still not complete now. I was just stunned. So normally I would just cry a bit because it releases some emotional pressure bit instead I called like 5 people and cleaned my place. I haven’t been able to clean it for almost 2 weeks and this morning it was as if it’s occupied by …well, a clean person! LOL!

So what does this mean?

Well 2 things have come to pass. My tearsgates are sealed TIGHT. Not one tear was available for me which made it extra frustrating! It’s like having a solution that temporarily works but now you can’t use it. Then I watched some Youtube videos and that was shortlived because I don’t know how the settings are right now but it’s so hard to discover new people so I got bored and shut it down. Then it was time to scrub the evidence so I bagged the garbage to get it ready for pick up the next morning, cleaned the kitchen and packed my bedroom into place. Clean environment = Clean Mind? Not exactly but it was a start because I felt a little lighter. It was already 2am so I did not force myself to finish up my assignment because being tired at work has had awful consequences for me in the past!

I think I’m familiar with what’s happening because my mom suffers from the exact same thing. Every time she’s faced with an emotional issue and tries to internalize it, it always comes out on her body. 

One time she had an operation done to cut out an unexpected, and yet to be explained, growth in her shoulder when my brother became an overnight rebel and alcoholic. She also keep being sick when she got a new principal that tried to destroy an orphanage that she spent 10 years building. That time she had to wear an eye patch after her eye got damaged when she kept getting a series of serious tension headaches. And the list goes on.

People think that having anxiety is an easy thing to ‘adopt’ just because a lot of people suffer from it now. However, some people have it but are not aware and then it makes itself apparent in different ways. One thing I can draw from my own experience is to find a step by step guide on how to go through the motions so that it can leave your body quicker or so that you can rebuild faster. Sometimes a whole week can pass you by without you knowing what happened and soon enough you won’t even remember what triggered it because you’ll be neck deep in a depression pit.

In the space of reaching my home at 5pm I went through insane worry. Will I be able to sell my asset? Do I want to sell it? Will I ever get out of financial trouble? Made some coffee thinking it will keep me calm. Met up with buyers. Buyers left with a lower offer than one I had in mind. Should I take a walk? It’s too dark now. Call friend. He tried to make me feel better but I can’t tell him about the sale because I did not tell him about acquisition. Call friend I haven’t spoken to properly since she gave birth. Network is awful. Friend calls me, love life trouble that I had I had to put brakes to because I don’t understand why my heartbeat is so fast. Am I upset about the sale. Mom calls, asks me when I’m coming home. Should I drive to the store? No. Should I take a nap? No, its only 9. Let’s watch Life in Pieces. Heartbeat the same but now feels coupled with heartburn. Open the windows and the fan. Prepare a soothing bath. Wash dishes and clean room first. Take a soothing bath. Try to sleep. Can’t sleep. Watch Life in Pieces again so that you can sleep.

 5am alarm goes off.

Work.

That is just one Tuesday night.

Concerning?

Definitely.

Do I still have the same worries this morning? Yes but it’s time to focus on work because I still need to function like an unaffected human being.

What will I do?

Finalize sale so that it doesn’t hibernate. The longer I struggle to end the chapter the more I’ll worry about being financially afloat. People think that you can ‘snap out’ of it by having a mindset change. I used to be one of those people. Until it’s you or someone you know. Yes, effective decisions definitely helps in order to get the ball rolling because the danger is not make a decision at all and to be crippled by the unknown.

Be brave! Find a way!!

Xx

Why Alone Time is Important

Hi everyone!

I literally CAN NOT WAIT to share what I’ve been learning in my new course. Don’t want to be too excited about it but I can’t believe how much I’m liking it! I want to introduce a segment on my blog for the lifestyle called ‘THE (T)EA IN TALK’ which I just thought of yesterday. If I think about it too long it starts to not make sense so I’m running with it!

As I’m trying to navigate through January I’m realizing how strong I’ve become because as per my previous post you can imagine that I haven’t had the best start to the year but in the back of my mind I secretly know that 2017 will be the best year EVER! I’m not just saying that because I hope that will happen but because I’m not going to repeat the same mistakes of 2016. It’s as if my lungs are just recharged (if you were with me physically, I would have said relunged) HAHA!! Omw, what’s wrong with me?

So! With all of this happening I can definitely say that it is hard for me to be charged up all the time. I’m also learning how to drive which has been the worst because I grew up being terrified of driving (My mom is a nervous wreck when she tries to teach me so she freaks out, cries and gives up and my father never owned a car) so I don’t have the best background when it comes to this which is adding block to my progress because I want to be completely independent.

So this week every day (planning to do this till end of January) I’ve been spending some quiet time looking out to the undisturbed plantation at my backyard and catching up on some magazines that I bought but never read. I've also been taking really long baths with scented salts and candles to treat my body. It’s been so lovely that I’ve actually started looking forward to it.

What’s the goal with alone time?

·         So many things rushing in my head. I just want some silence and sometimes the only way to do that is to introduce new and fresh info (like magazine articles and reading people's stories)

·         To really look at myself in a calm state and actually say…despite what’s happening, I WILL BE OKAY.

·         To actually let something sink in well enough to make a decision. E.g: I’ve been stressing about finding a suitable new flatmate since I kicked out my brother in Dec (he contributed to my daily stress) but I’ve processed the situation well enough to know that if I don’t find someone I need to find another place to live.

·         It frees me from my writer’s block that I’ve had for months!

·         It helps me deal with my reality

·         It de-stresses my body. I’m the type of person who gets physical signs of stress. Which is highlighted mostly by extreme fatigue, extreme tension headaches and sometimes by a runny stomach. Sometimes I neglect my diet which leads to obvious weight gain and on other days I don’t eat at all which then leads to dizziness and extreme insomnia.

·         It helps me plan. Sometimes there’s so much to do and so little time and resources so I you can plan and make compromises – you can deal with it better!

Quiet time might sound like a waste of time but I truly advice you try it when your world is going for a spin (other than the spin the Earth already makes) LOL, Omw. Invest in YOU!

LOVE, 

2016 Blog Goals

Hi everyone!

I hope everyone’s been having a good January. I think despite having a rough start entering into 2016 I can say that things are looking up. And not things around me though. Work is more stressful and I’m still struggling to get my study things ready and this post has helped but now that I’m starting to reach the end of my resources but I finally feel ready to start the year.

It’s so odd. A couple of weeks ago I was just so worried about unknown events and also afraid to regret decisions I haven’t even made. Talking to someone really helped. I also think that sometimes we just have to realize that we are where we need to be.

So 2016 goals are very important because this year I seriously want to turn over a new leaf rather than find a piece of white space on a page that’s been scribbled on to death. So today I’ll be sharing my goals with you.

1.        Youtube.  My channel is my top priority this year. I enjoy talking. Writing helps me when I’m sad or in need of a ‘way out’ when I feel stuck or when I need to recharge. But talking is my thang! Hopefully in addition to this I’ll be able to talk to more people too. Being shy is such a b-word.

2.       Photography. Trust me I take no pride in publishing not-so-amazing photos on my blog but I promised myself that I would do what I can until I find another plan. And it hasn’t been easy. My town is small and everyone basically keeps to themselves so it’s very hard to find creative people. Trust me – there is nothing worse than that for a person like me.

3.       Collaborations. I need to definitely give this a try. I love learning from people and bloggers are my favourite kinds of people so I would love to just interact more, share ideas and get more involved with other parts of the world.

4.       Twitter chats. I think people think I don’t want to participate but I literally have no time in the middle of the week especially on Wednesdays and Thursdays which is when the bulk of them take place. I hope this year I find some sort of balance and make new friends!

5.       Self. Blogging for me was all about fashion. I also enjoyed venturing into lifestyle but I fear the bigger it gets the less of myself I’m likely to share. I want us all to learn from each other’s life experiences. My lifestyle posts are so therapeutic for me and I found that after I share something or set it free I feel a huge burden lifted. I hope that I will do more this year with new challenges that might be in store for me. I have accepted a long time ago that life isn't smooth but it is blessed and without challenges there's no advancement and I'm looking forward to that advancement!

Thank you reading! Thank you for all your support!

Let's make history this year! 

Love,

MCMs of 2015!!

Hi everyone!

2015 has had so many amazing highs and new people have just popped up from all over and based on a recent conversation I’ve decided to share my #MCM’s with you! I’ve been watching The Real online a lot lately and I always loved the #MCM section of the show!

I know that it's not Monday but to be quite honest I only remembered #MCM on Wednesdays. This year I’d say that I definitely chilled under a rock because I always knew of new people way after everyone else was tired of them. So today I’m sharing with you some eye candy from the music scene/ tv shows!

Decided to keep it to a minimum because I'm sort of scared to reveal what a perv/dork I am.

1. Jidenna

Lol guys, am I the only one that thinks that this guy is totally gorg? I mean I never really got to watch the Classic Man video but when I was jamming to Yoga I would be supper excited to get to Jidenna's part of the song!! This guy is totally 100!

urban daily/google

2. The Weeknd

Guys I seriously only knew him from the I can't feel my face song while the rest of you guys probably knew him from his track on 50 shades or even before that! I absolutely love this guy's voice and his creativity!! I'm still a bit undecided about the hair but I guess it's what makes him The Weeknd!!

Billboard mag/Google

3. Terrence J
Guys this guy has been around foreverrrr and I'm just like hey, Terrence now! If you read my 20 facts you know that I'm super gaga about him!! He seems to have an awesome personality and who of course can miss his gorg smile? I think I should stop talking about him now(lol).

DCPOSE.com/Google

4. Steelo Brim
I only know Steelo from Ridiculousness but these days I see him more on Social Media at events and so on. To be quite honest - my mom once said that she wanted me to marry him because he's so good looking!! Do you guys agree?

Google

5. Trai Byers
I know you know him!! Everyone watches Empire!! What draws me to Trai is his personality and humility! Try following him on social media and you'll love him too!!

Essense Magazine/Google

6. Kendrick Sampson
I mean how can I complete this post without this How to get away with murder hottie?! Nah girls! I was introduced to this guy by my friend Thembi and when he joined the cast of one of my fave tv shows I just paid more attention to him because he's just drop dead gorg without effort!! He's also interesting on Instagram!!

Vanity Fair/Google

So what do you guys think? 

Let me know about people that are not on this list but are on yours!

(They might be on my extended version)

Lol!!

Enjoy the holidays!!

Preventing January Brokedom

Hi everyone!!

I watch people go through this every year and it amazes me how people still don’t plan for their shortcomings in January. My mom is a teacher so she’ll always tell me that her kids would all pack up and go see their families in Gauteng and then in January they won’t have enough money for school fees, uniform or books.

So this is only my first year of working and I obviously have no experience in staying afloat myself so these suggested tips will be of how I plan to have myself covered when I return to work in January!! Obviously you should let your hair down, enjoy yourself and end 2015 on a good note! But before you do that, you’ll want to consider these few life saver tips!!!

Pay all your fixed costs (recurring costs) for January now before starting with your Christmas Shopping.

Buy what you’ll need in January now while you have money e.g sanitary products that ran out in December.

Keep your gift shopping to what you can afford.

Only go on trips that you’ve been planning for or ones you are invited to and the majority of the trip has already been taken care of or is free.

Buy things with an expiry date that is past January – in that way you know that you won’t have to include it in your January grocery list.

Avoid using your credit card. Or use an amount that you can pay off within the first month in 2016.

Don’t pick up the tab - no matter how monied you are. You’ll remember that money when it’s rough and the people who you supplied with free booze will also be too broke to remember you.

Make your way back to where you live after the holidays 2 days in advance. I found that it helps you get ready for the first workday of 2016 and also gives you enough time to run last minute errands before the hecticness starts up again.

Enjoy Christmas and New Year responsibly!!

Love

Fresh Energy {A Review}

Hi everyone!

I hope everyone is well. During my last stock up I decided to try new things. I work out of town now and I have to live out of my bag so I can only take essentials. Being in this environment it can get quite rough on your health and beauty habits. So I decided to add to my skincare collection!

My new client is based in a very dry, hot and humid area so I've been wearing minimal make-up and I'm always tired after work so cleaning up my face can be quite daunting. So when I saw the Simple exfoliating wipes I just had to give them a try. I've also seen Shirley and Suzi use them so I was curious to get into the hype.

Amazing product! It's extremely effective and not harsh to my skin. I really hope they re-stock them because they will now become part of my out of town suitcase! Each pack has 25 wipes which is more than enough for roughly a full work month. Definitely a mush have! I was also excited to see that they have other products that I'll definitely be trying in future!

My normal exfoliator was running out and I had the option between the Garnier scrub and face wash or Neutrogena, and I'm glad I decided to go with the one I wasn't sure about because it's currently exceeding ALL my expectations. The pink one was originally my first choice but because it's summer I'm all about the greens and its freshness. I've been having a lot of issues with my face lately and I really just feel clear and fresh after using my new scrub. Definitely a hit!

I found my wipes at PicknPay and I'm sure they can be found at Clicks and Dischem as well. Try it out!

What has your experience been with Neutrogena?

Let me know below!!

Review ~ Black Opal Foundation

Hey Everyone!

I’ve had my fair share of using really bad foundation that’s either the wrong shade or it was too rich and oily. When I tried out the tester I found it to be thick and it had quite a full coverage on my face. It also came off as matte which I really appreciated because I was tired of being a glowy bear. So after speaking to a consultant about it, she suggested Hazelnut and after trying it I bought it.

First time using it I found it to be a bit more watery than what it was in the tester tube and because of its matte element, it would dry out quite quickly which was quite difficult to manage. But after the second/third time I just had to adapt to applying it quicker.

I found that it doesn’t last all day. Towards the end of my day it seemed like I could’ve gone without it. Except for the colour and its matte element I would definitely not go back here if it doesn’t give me coverage all day every day. A thicker layer would just make me look more cakey so that’s definitely not a remedy in this situation. Or maybe a different shade?

Have you ever tried Black Opal?

How was your experience like?

xx

10 tips to Enjoy the Spring Season!

Happy Spring!!

(image: google images)

Spring just gets me all excited! The promise of new things just like the flowers outside. When I woke up today I was just excited to get my day started (I think a good night’s rest also had something to do with it!)

So today I thought I’d share some ideas on how you can enjoy the first few days of spring!

1.       Get more flowers in your room/house!

Yes, I know how girly that sounds! I can’t afford to get fresh flowers so I always get beautiful fake flowers so that they’ll just make room look more decorated. Try it!

2.       Take out all the things you needed to survive winter

This includes extra blankets, heaters and even turtle necks! I mean you’re not going to use it! All these things are just blocking the sun from coming in! Put them in storage. If you don’t have storage, create it! Just get it away from your view!

3.       Where are all your dresses?

As soon as spring sets in, it’s basically legs season! Time to put away the jeans you used to tuck into your boots and the long-sleeve tops!! 

4.       Set up your wax appointments!

I mean HOW do you do spring without making sure everything is clean and smooth?! Lol, come on girls!!

5.       Less coffee, more citrus/water

To be clear, I’m not saying NO coffee!! I wouldn’t be able to survive without my daily stash of coffee sachets! But detox your body a bit! More water is always good for you. If you want a control for overeating, try having a full glass of water before you attack your plate. It has helped me so much.

6.       Finally put your gym subscription to good use.

Lol, we all remember those new year’s resolutions that we’ve been paying for? Now it’s time to actually use it!! Beach season is approaching, use the arrival of spring to jumpstart your return to the gym! Or start running! Good exercise will NEVER go to waste.

7.       Oh gurl your huurrrr!!

No, you can’t hide behind beanies anymore. The wind is blowing, you got your dresses out…you can’t let hair ruin such a beautiful mental picture! Refresh your hair/change up your hairstyle or colour!!

8.       Watch the paint dry

This option is optional (lol, did you see that?) I think there’s something about a fresh coat of nail polish! Doesn’t it make you smile? Even if you don’t like nail polish, I still think you should get your hands pampered and make it an all day event!

9.       What’s turning over a leaf without shoes?

(Also optional) During winter my mind was on one thing! Winter booties! And now that it’s gone it’s time for strappy shoes! There’s nothing sexier than a flowy dress paired with strappy heels! If someone wants to send some Steve Maddens my way, DM me so that I give you my address!!

10.   A brand new attitude!!

If there’s one thing I learnt from The Big Bang Theory it’s that exterior stuff won’t fix everything or make the change that you made sustainable! Penny said that when she’s depressed, she goes shopping. Then Sheldon said doesn’t she realize that afterwards she’s just the same depressed person in a cute skirt and a fancy top! So true right?

Enjoy Spring guys!!

Life is so beautiful! Shake off the old and smell the flowers!!

Till later!

How to keep your promise/oath/vow

Hi guys!!

Slightly different post but this crept so deep into my heart that I decided to talk about it here. The world has gotten so small. Everyone has just adapted to the current trends and current beliefs but people who really believe in God know that He’s stayed the same.

Today I read a story about Jimdre Westbrook. He’s a 31 year old virgin who took a vow to remain a virgin till he’s married. Obviously I looked him up and read a couple of interviews about his website WorthTheWaitGuy.com. A couple of things stand out which are also things that I think will help anybody who’s also trying to stay celibate.

Disclaimer : This post is not about his virginity, it's about using his story to help you keep your vow and/or help you re-commit to a promise you once made!

I’ll be quoting from his interview because I found that he addressed some of the problems/situations we face today and basically to summarise what I’ve learned from it.

1.       He’s from Las Vegas

When I read that I was like whaaaaat? He’s right at the centre of the most care-free place! People like to blame their environment. From the community I’m from, I’m supposed to have had 3 kids, a husband that cheats on me with a woman he’s making me live with, that he dragged out from the house next door to where his mom lives in his old neighbourhood. It sounds dramatic but my neighbour had 2 wives. 2 of my uncles have 2 wives. It’s how I grew up. But I know that I’m only made for one person that I do not share. Just because I’m surrounded by this doesn’t mean that it’s what I should look forward to.

2.       He’s 31.

Every time I have lunch with my brother he’s always asking me why he doesn’t have a brother-in-law yet. ALL THE TIME. It’s because most guys I’ve come across don’t value girls with promises. It’s so rare to find a guy who’s made up their mind. Marriage doesn’t mean death. So in general guys don’t want to wait. And then they’ll pull the ‘if you love me, you’ll do it’ card. I’ve read so many stories that contain those words. And the other thing those stories have in common is that they involve 18/19 year old girls. Wait until you’re old enough/feel ready.

3.       “I feel that living at your own pace is very important”

That should be written in stone!! It’s so easy to get caught up in how fast the world is going by. People want everything NOW. Nothing is scared anymore and people are constantly trying to influence other people to go down the wrong path so that they can join them there. I absolutely get so upset when people at work say that because I’m 23 and currently not married, time is passing me by and that by the time I do want to get married, there’ll be no-one left! I like to call that ‘small town mentality’ because they think there isn’t a huge world outside of our town. Know yourself so well that you can’t be altered by someone’s opinion that holds no value.

4.       “I feel like I’m worth the wait because God’s worth the wait”

I’ve been sort of trying to think what he meant with the second part because without explaining further it could mean a couple of things. I choose to look at it as He’s honouring God by keeping his promise to Him. It’s definitely not the easiest thing to do! Promises are based on a series of decisions. The first decision is the actual promise and the rest of the decisions are the ones you make in trying to keep the original promise. I’ve come to experience that in my own life. I don’t drink alcohol. It’s the first decision I made, the rest of the decision I had to make was to say ‘no thanks- do you have coke?’ when it was being offered to me.

5.       “I’m not the one to judge people or to say she has to be exactly like me”

This is so key. Judgment is one of things that make people look down on Christianity. People don’t forgive easily which makes people opt to rather live aimlessly. Don’t live for people but exist for something. I think that you don’t really know someone until you know their life story and you’re not in a position to judge them for the person that they are. Just like you wouldn’t want someone to judge you for how you’ve lived out your journey. Really walk a mile in someone’s shoes as you’d want them to extend you the same courtesy.

I hope you guys found this post helpful!!

Xx

Cafe Enrista Review

Hi guys!!

Something quite cool today! I recently got this CafeEnrista sample pack and I just couldn’t wait to try it out. As you know I’m a professional coffee addict. Like pro. And I just loved all of these sachets that were included. They must have expanded the range because I only knew about the Mild, Regular and Strong.

So imagine my EXCITEMENT when I found Cappuccino (fave) in there! So I just couldn’t wait to share this with you guys. 

Crops and Prints

Happy Tuesday!

Lace Top and Bow Skirt

Hi everyone!!

Over the weekend I was experimenting with some looks. I've never thought about this combination until I started looking around for some neutral colours! Since then this has been my favourite pairing!

I would wear this for drinks with the girls or some sort of cocktail function or even date night on a hot summer night!!

I know some of you guys have the skort - which was one of the trends last summer so that could easily be paired with a nice lace top for effortless chic!

What do you guys think?

Lace top - Cotton On(old)

Skirt - MrPrice

Shoes - MrPrice(old)

Till next time!!

xx

How to End the year like a LEGEND!

Hi Everyone!!

At this point in the year we’re all getting exhausted. We just can’t wait for the summer time even though we’ve only gone through winter for a short time. Everyone is letting go of all the essentials: the hair (solution: winter hats and beanies), the waxing (seriously? You’re in stockings all day and leg warmers at night and long sleeve tops), the exercising (it’s too cold and you’d rather remain in bed) and the New Year’s Resolutions (gurl, that was 6 months ago okaaaaaaaay??)

So a couple of thoughts come up.

1.       How will you spend the rest of the year?

2.       Re-evaluate your goals/adjust /create new ones?

3.       Make life altering changes?

If you’ve gotten comfy with your surroundings and you haven’t done something exciting all year you obviously need to shake things up. It must be awful to drag yourself all year. You have no memories of anything and you can’t remember when you did what because you’re passing through your own life!

-Make a list of things you want to do! Things you like but haven’t done and atleast attempt to do one thing!

-Surround yourself with people with similar interests. Challenge each other in becoming better version of yourselves. Don’t compete. There’s nothing that tears girls apart faster than that (except boys, LOL)

-If the goals you made at the beginning of the year are unrealistic, don’t scrap them – just re-adjust. Make them more flexible and make them work for you. There’s nothing worse than being strangled by a schedule that you created.

-My life altering change would be to change careers but I’m not financially ready for it. Even taking a leap needs planning. You don’t want to hate yourself for pursuing a dream. Your dream will die and then you won’t have anything to live for and that is worse than a tragedy.

-Be ready for anything. Never limit yourself in a little box. I did that for years and finally when I realized how round the earth was, I started opening myself up to new possibilities. In order to go to New York I had to go through a panel interview. Guys, a one on one interview used to render me mute!  And then I had to go through five accomplished adults. One man came out of the interview and told the next candidate what an amazing young woman I was and if you ask me today what the questions were – I wouldn’t even be able to tell you because I was so scared. And then a couple of months later I took my first flight to the Big Apple. Risks=Rewards.

-Shy doesn’t mean unable. When I was younger I used to think that no-one wants to hear me speak. I think I didn’t want to hear myself speak. I just thought that seeing that I wasn’t outspoken, my opinion didn’t matter. And that’s how most things passed me by. Looking back, that’s the worst thing that I had to go through in highschool but finding myself step by step was also good for me!

All the above mentioned options are all open and are without restriction. Shake off the last 6 months and look forward to shaking things up in the second part of the year!

Live loud. And Live Free!

Till next time!!

xx

What are our 20s for?

Hi everyone!

What are our twenties for?

In the past couple of months I’ve been thinking a lot about this. There’s so much pressure for us to accomplish such a lot of things in our 20s. Ever since I turned twenty I’ve gotten 2 degrees, failed one major year course that made me miserable and also made me realized that I might be in the wrong career path, gotten my first job, first salary, first flat and I now pay taxes. I've taken on lifestyle blogging which has allowed me to be more myself, grossly neglected my channel because I either don’t have time or became really sloppy in planning for my channel and I haven’t gotten my hair done since February and I’ve picked up really bad eating habits... (a bit tmi there) 

That’s quite a lot of stuff but having written them down, I feel so much better already because releasing it this way is extremely therapeutic for me. Every time I feel like I (or mom) have placed a lot of pressure on myself, Phil (yes, from Modern Family) once told Hailey that your twenties are there for you to find/discover yourself. And I also remember that God did not place me on Earth to be miserable. I might not have found something that I’m passionate about that when I wake up I want to start doing it or I would sacrifice sleep for it every day but I know it’s out there somewhere!

Passion is not something that can be taught. That’s one of the most valuable lessons I have learnt recently. And it’s important not to force it or let comparisons with your peers make you feel like you’re falling behind in life. I’ve always found it important to be ahead in life on everything. Up until I realized that I was in the middle of something I wasn’t passionate about. I had the skill to understand it because I was highly competitive and organized and it’s so funny how those qualities faded away when I realized that I was doing something that made getting out of bed every morning a nightmare.

So I now I have a couple of options. And that’s the beauty of my journey. The power to decide on my own.

   -  Leave what’s familiar behind and leap into the world of the unknown. A perfect example of someone who’s done that in the blog world is Antoinette Pepe . And what she did terrifies me but it also gives me new hope. Being in pursuit of a dream is so exhilarating and so worth-while and that’s what’s been missing from my life.

  -  Continue with what I’m doing and live under a cloud up until I’m some sort of an executive and probably making millions in what feels like the worst job on earth. The positive side is that  I’ll never be unemployed and I can work wherever I want in the world after 3 years(or maybe more) of torturous bar exams and 8-5 workdays.

  - Or start a new degree! This time hopefully in something that I’ll enjoy like languages/TV/production - basically anything creative that will hopefully involve clothes and is overall visually stimulating! I’m hopelessly too shy to be in front of the TV(working on it).

 Whichever way I go, happiness needs to be at the forefront. Being in my current job I’ve come to realize that one month is 30 days. Each day is really 24 hours and living those hours not in pursuit of a dream or being wrapped up in something passionate is really such a tragedy.

I hope my journey will inspire someone. Especially my fellow low risk takers. We never want to ruffle any feathers or disturb the peace. Until one day we wake up with a husband who’s the same as you and kids you don’t understand.

Live the life you’ll one day be proud of!

(image: Leef Tydskrif/Magazine)

I thought the quote here was so fitting. In (my own)translation it says : " The more the soul receives in silence, the more it gives in actions"

#alwayspursuehappiness

Review - Avon Winter Nails and Lips

Hi everyone!

At the end of May I ordered these two Avon products because I wanted some winter colours for work. I don’t wear a lot of make-up at work so I turn it up in the nails and lipstick department. So when I looked around I found this perfect shade of nail polish and lipstick from Avon Cosmetics.

Lipstick

So when I first had it on it come off as a dark pink and I was quite puzzled because I thought I picked the wrong shade. But with a second layer it really comes alive. It has enough moisture to not make your lips dry and also enough to last all day. I only re-applied after lunch and it stayed on till past 6pm!

Nail polish

To continue my burgundy winter trend I thought this nail polish would look amazing seeing that I’ve only stuck to pastels in the past. But a lot of people were quite attracted to it and they also gave it a try. I had it only for an entire workweek and I was very satisfied with how long it stayed on. I applied 2 layers which also made it look more vibrant.

Have you guys used Avon Cosmetics before?

What's been your experience?

xx