How emotional turmoil can be physically evident

Hi everyone!

Something weird is happening. Yesterday I was in the middle of a sale of one of my assets and I was just overcame with insane anxiety. I had to submit an assignment last night and it’s still not complete now. I was just stunned. So normally I would just cry a bit because it releases some emotional pressure bit instead I called like 5 people and cleaned my place. I haven’t been able to clean it for almost 2 weeks and this morning it was as if it’s occupied by …well, a clean person! LOL!

So what does this mean?

Well 2 things have come to pass. My tearsgates are sealed TIGHT. Not one tear was available for me which made it extra frustrating! It’s like having a solution that temporarily works but now you can’t use it. Then I watched some Youtube videos and that was shortlived because I don’t know how the settings are right now but it’s so hard to discover new people so I got bored and shut it down. Then it was time to scrub the evidence so I bagged the garbage to get it ready for pick up the next morning, cleaned the kitchen and packed my bedroom into place. Clean environment = Clean Mind? Not exactly but it was a start because I felt a little lighter. It was already 2am so I did not force myself to finish up my assignment because being tired at work has had awful consequences for me in the past!

I think I’m familiar with what’s happening because my mom suffers from the exact same thing. Every time she’s faced with an emotional issue and tries to internalize it, it always comes out on her body. 

One time she had an operation done to cut out an unexpected, and yet to be explained, growth in her shoulder when my brother became an overnight rebel and alcoholic. She also keep being sick when she got a new principal that tried to destroy an orphanage that she spent 10 years building. That time she had to wear an eye patch after her eye got damaged when she kept getting a series of serious tension headaches. And the list goes on.

People think that having anxiety is an easy thing to ‘adopt’ just because a lot of people suffer from it now. However, some people have it but are not aware and then it makes itself apparent in different ways. One thing I can draw from my own experience is to find a step by step guide on how to go through the motions so that it can leave your body quicker or so that you can rebuild faster. Sometimes a whole week can pass you by without you knowing what happened and soon enough you won’t even remember what triggered it because you’ll be neck deep in a depression pit.

In the space of reaching my home at 5pm I went through insane worry. Will I be able to sell my asset? Do I want to sell it? Will I ever get out of financial trouble? Made some coffee thinking it will keep me calm. Met up with buyers. Buyers left with a lower offer than one I had in mind. Should I take a walk? It’s too dark now. Call friend. He tried to make me feel better but I can’t tell him about the sale because I did not tell him about acquisition. Call friend I haven’t spoken to properly since she gave birth. Network is awful. Friend calls me, love life trouble that I had I had to put brakes to because I don’t understand why my heartbeat is so fast. Am I upset about the sale. Mom calls, asks me when I’m coming home. Should I drive to the store? No. Should I take a nap? No, its only 9. Let’s watch Life in Pieces. Heartbeat the same but now feels coupled with heartburn. Open the windows and the fan. Prepare a soothing bath. Wash dishes and clean room first. Take a soothing bath. Try to sleep. Can’t sleep. Watch Life in Pieces again so that you can sleep.

 5am alarm goes off.

Work.

That is just one Tuesday night.

Concerning?

Definitely.

Do I still have the same worries this morning? Yes but it’s time to focus on work because I still need to function like an unaffected human being.

What will I do?

Finalize sale so that it doesn’t hibernate. The longer I struggle to end the chapter the more I’ll worry about being financially afloat. People think that you can ‘snap out’ of it by having a mindset change. I used to be one of those people. Until it’s you or someone you know. Yes, effective decisions definitely helps in order to get the ball rolling because the danger is not make a decision at all and to be crippled by the unknown.

Be brave! Find a way!!

Xx

Review - Avon Winter Nails and Lips

Hi everyone!

At the end of May I ordered these two Avon products because I wanted some winter colours for work. I don’t wear a lot of make-up at work so I turn it up in the nails and lipstick department. So when I looked around I found this perfect shade of nail polish and lipstick from Avon Cosmetics.

Lipstick

So when I first had it on it come off as a dark pink and I was quite puzzled because I thought I picked the wrong shade. But with a second layer it really comes alive. It has enough moisture to not make your lips dry and also enough to last all day. I only re-applied after lunch and it stayed on till past 6pm!

Nail polish

To continue my burgundy winter trend I thought this nail polish would look amazing seeing that I’ve only stuck to pastels in the past. But a lot of people were quite attracted to it and they also gave it a try. I had it only for an entire workweek and I was very satisfied with how long it stayed on. I applied 2 layers which also made it look more vibrant.

Have you guys used Avon Cosmetics before?

What's been your experience?

xx

How to start saving

Hi everyone!!

I think that saving is such an important aspect of our lives as young adults. The road in front of us is just so open and we don’t know what will happen in five, ten or twenty years from now.

Job Security is such an important part of our lives too. It’s always about the economy. So many young and qualified people are unemployed and there’s nothing they can do. I’ve been there and it was such a nightmare. But once you start working there’s just so many things that you need and just can’t live without.

Girls, let’s be honest. We need everything. Those boots, that watch, that hair. And everything is sooo expensive. I’ve now entered into the life of quality buying. I still buy for quantity (there’s nothing that saddens me more than running out of clothes – what is that??) but now I buy for durability because I believe that I take good care of things I had to buy myself.

google images

Here is how you can still enjoy life and have savings:

As soon as you receive your cheque – take out the amount you want to save and put it in another account or investment plan that will earn you interest.

Make peace from the beginning that that money is untouchable. Otherwise you will rely on it and ruin your investment plan.

Give it a name. What is it for? If it’s money without a goal sometimes you see its usefulness. It will always be your reserve tank when you run into some issues. If it’s for something more tangible you’ll be more motivated to keep going.

Use a method that is beneficial to you. We all want to dig a hole and out money in there but there’s so many options now where you can get a bigger return. I’d suggest that proper research if you want to invest into more high risk investments but if you’ve never saved on your own before or with lower risk options, I’d suggest that you leave the high risk options for now.

Transfer control over that money to someone else. The bank/investment fund. Any money you have access to will always slip from your fingers. No matter how control freaky you are.

In order for these tips to work you must be determined to save. It is not easy so if you do it half-heartedly you’ll just never leave your point of departure.

Personal Side Story

My mom made a small decision after she just started working to have R100 taken from her account into some investment plan she participated in. Because the amount is so minimal she wasn’t really concerned with it. Then one day I think about 5 years ago she wanted to start her own life policy plan with Old Mutual and they found that investment plan had almost R40k in it! And she started it in her twenties! Because she didn’t know she had it, it’s as if overnight money fell into her lap and it just shows the type of mindset needed to pull off the savings game!

I hope this helps!!

Till next time!

How to deal : If someone opens up an old wound

Hi everyone!!

A couple of years ago I started coming out of my shell more and I’d interact with a lot of people. Students of course. Took a lot of leadership roles to learn how to handle the pressure of having a lot of people depends on me. It was okay. I felt good to help people, to inspire and to motivate.

Now that I work, there’s just a different kind of interaction going on. And I’ve come to realize that people here don’t need to be friendly. And you also have no idea how they were raised so anything can happen any day.

I work in a place with a lot of levels so we all depend on each other. And sometimes this makes me wish that I could just work in isolation so that if someone is having a bad day then I don’t have to talk to them. As harsh as that sounds.

So recently I had an encounter that opened up such a hurtful part of my life. Worst part was – I thought I was over it until all the emotions that I thought I had put behind me came rushing back. It’s as if the blood was drained from face and the tears were all over my eyes like an unscheduled rain shower.

To make it worse, the person helping me doesn’t know about that time in my life so all these facts made him more sarcastic because he’s a bit more established/higher level than me and has successfully gone through this part that I struggled to climb over.

I think I just left.

Left the office to have some air in my eyes.

When I came back I built up enough courage to get the interaction over and done with. And was just so relieved.

So these are key things that I think helped me handle it:

-As soon as I got emotional I immediately thought of options to remain calm. For me that’s air, cool water and keeping busy with some other task or leaving the environment. It’s important not to make a scene. Because then you’d have to explain the whole story or it will make the office hostile/tense.

-Remember why it’s in the past. What helped here is that I dealt with this matter thoroughly and it helped control the tears because I’ve cried about it endlessly before. If it gets out of control rather take an early lunch or rest of the day off. Or bottle it and take care of it at night by talking to someone about it.

- Do not hold a grudge. This person wasn’t in my life at the time so he’s not aware of the level of sensitivity that this particular issue comes with. So don’t keep them in your mind/heart. There’s just no time.

- Pull yourself together. Don’t waste the whole day! Work on something else or from somewhere else where you can continue being productive/ remain positive. Be strong!

Can you guys relate to this topic? I think writing it in the heat of the moment just helped me now to overcome it! You can also try to do just that!

Xx

Love

My Top 20 movies of ALL time

Hi everyone! 

Something different today. Decided to put this on paper because I sometimes forget a critical movie and then get very depressed about it (as if I don’t have stuff to do). So I put this list together based on the fact that I got my money’s worth watching it on the big screen and that I thought the creativity was insane. Some of them made me follow the actor/actress in other projects because of their amazing performance in this particular movie!

1.       Inception.

OMW. This movie blew my mind! Didn’t want to see it at first because I couldn’t identify with the topic of ‘dream stealers’ but wow can I tell you all about it now! Christopher Nolan is now one of my Blockbuster Icons.

2.       Batman: The Dark Knight

OMW. Heath Ledger was sooooo amazing as The Joker. I can delete all my movies but that one will always remain. I’ve never really seen him in anything else and I won’t because this was his best Oscar winning performance and I don’t want to spoil it.

3.       Ironman 3

Not that I don’t love the 1^st two but this one is right up there. The visuals, the many suits and Pepper Potts getting a bigger role and the villain being older man sexy!

4.       Marvel’s the Avengers

OMW. That’s like my favourite people in one movie! I have to say that I’m soo happy that Mark Ruffalo was the Hulk. Not that I didn’t like Edward it’s just that this guy just had it in him. The geek side, the shyness, the genius and when he transforms, it just feels right.

5.       Thor: The Dark World

OMW. Chris Hemsworth was just born to play Thor. I don’t care what they put on him to look like that but man does that character suit him. I also like how Idris Elba portrayed his role and how Tom Middleton manages to make me hate him in the movie! Also loved Rene Russo’s role as Thor’s mom. She just made me want to call her ‘Your highness'.

6.       Captain America 2: The Winter Soldier

Samuel L. Jackson has been in a lot of movies but I really see him most fitting to play Nick Fury. He has that authority vibe going on making you feel safe to be on team Shield. Of course I also watch the TV show and I think that it’s a crime that Agent May wasn't in the movie. She's so cool!

7.       The Fifth Element

Guys, this is an old movie but omw was everyone fantastic in it! The creativity was on another level. I feel like I have an eye for good syfy and this was it. And Milla and Bruce Willis are the only people who could’ve pulled it off. And Chris Tucker should’ve gotten an Oscar for his performance! I also thought the story was original and easy enough to follow and relate to.

8.       Gone Girl

Never read this book but I’m so glad I watched the movie! I was invited by a friend and I was sooo shocked at the level of complexity in the storyline and I completely blown away by Rosamund Pike’s performance and really thought that she was going to get an Oscar for her role. Maybe next time!

9.       Red 2

If I could ever find love, it will definitely be the way Bruce Willis and Mary- Jane finds it in this movie. Red 2 is better because it’s filled with more action and a lot more humor and the storyline becomes so deep and all the characters just create a deeper bond with each other. Hellen Mirren’s character in this movie makes you want to see her with a gun in all movies!

10.    Mission Impossible 4: Ghost Protocol
Not that I didn’t love the one with Maggie Q in that amazing red dress, I just think that the 4^th instalment was soo much bigger than the others. Paula Patton as amazing and all of Tom’s stunt were flawless and created so much anxiety! I also think that using the Burj was the perfect place for the mission just like Eiffel Tower was in Rush Hour.

11.    Seven Pounds

I believe in love. And in this movie I believe that they took it to the next level. The storyline was so extraordinary, so unique, so selfish. And I cried like a baby at the end. Like sobbed. And I think Will Smith and Rosario Dawson were best suited to bring those people to life.

12.    Fast 6

Let me be clear- I’m not a fan of the franchise so this one was the first one I watched and omw was it a thrill of a lifetime! Not enough to go back thou! All the characters were just sooo ‘at home’ and are really invested in these characters so it was pretty easy to figure out what went on. And the action was sooo on point! More than the racing itself so I really appreciated that. And the movie gives you a sense of family which makes it easily relatable.

13.    Now you see me

This movie is the result of what I would call Magicians United. I feel like I went in there with no expectations and the movie just delivered. I’m not a fan of magic reality shows so I don’t know if all the magic fans were disappointed but I was so glued to the storyline and the tricks and ‘lesson to be learnt’ that I thought that it must have taken them quite some time to make it unique. So 13 thumbs up!

14.    Law Abiding Citizen

Oldie but still a goodie! I like a man with a plan! Even a revenge plan on the big screen. What happened with the lead character portrayed by Gerald Butler made us all identify with him and so his journey made us all gasp and wonder what came next. I would watch that movie again any day.

15.    Avatar

I think this is some people’s number one but I only watched Avatar once, loved it but would never watch it again. When I checked I heard that it was the best-selling movie of all time that replaced Titanic and later found out that it was directed by the same director James Cameron. This guy has the gift of going big and I admire that in a visionary person!

16.    Fantastic Four: Rise of Silver Surfer

I don’t know what’s up with me and my attraction to nerds but man do I love Mr Fantastic in this movie! He is so gorg! I also love The Thing. He reminds of Hulk. And I just felt like the sequel was just bigger and better! And that spaceship thing he made was like nerdtastic!

17.    The Women

Never really been a fan of Meg Ryan but there’s two movies where she does it for me and it’s this one and Kate & Leopold. Hugh Jackman was probably the reason for my ability to fall in love in that movie! In this one I just like how middle aged women were facing real problems together and it just made me want to have a bond like that in future.

18.    Colombiana

My girl crush of all time Zoe Saldana kicks a$$ in this movie the way I like it! I especially connected with her vulnerability with her boyfriend when he really wanted to get to ‘know’ her and the danger that brought to her very existence. And she just looked so flawless throughout!

19.    Wolverine

Hugh Jackman is one of my favourite actors of all time and there’s truly no-one better to bring this beast to life. Amazing direction of photography, raw action and all the characters really made you understand how X-Men came to be born to what we know it as today. 

20.    It’s complicated/The proposal.

Both these movies are at number 20 because I didn’t know which one to choose. Meryl Streep is an amazing actress and this movie made me understand old people and how love can evolve if/when you just let go.  I guess the same is true about Sandra Bullock’s character. She built such a strong wall around herself that it was terrifying when a good man wanted to break them down. But seriously, who’s not in love with Ryan Reynolds by now?

What do you guys think?

Pictures from Google

How to pack your handbag for a job far away

Hi everyone!

So as you all know I travel about close to 2 hours per day to and from work. It has not been easy and I think I can share my experience with you. I’ve also come to realize that as much as I complain about the frustrating seated hours then I remember that some of the people have been using this, and no other way, as a means of going to work everyday for years.

I’ve already done a bag tag but that was for everyday use so what’s different here is what I carry to work. And yes – it’s a bit heavy.

So for my job I carry the following:

Laptop – I have a separate bag for this as I know that will be undisturbed on its own as well as any other documents I have will be store in the there.

Umbrella – I was once caught unarmed in a rainstorm. Let’s just say it shaped my life for the better. A forecast is almost never accurate so I never want to be unprepared.

A charger – My phone is always flat. So after lunch I’ll connect it to my laptop so that if there are any emergencies on the way back I can call somebody( Momi (lol!))

Make –up bag. It carries only the basics. Concealer, Foundation, Mascara, Browliner, Lipsticks, etc. It has a compact perfume, a hair brush and some lady emergency gear.

My flats – I can’t run in heels, so I always bring my flats along for anything that requires running. Or if I don’t feel like wearing heels.

Purse – cards, money, and memory stick.

Earphones – the road gets pretty boring. In the morning I use classical/soul music to sleep on my way to work (I get up at 3am so it’s the only way to catch up on some zzz) and then I RnB and pop it up when I go home.

My MP4 player

Pain/Tension headache/ Allergy medication for emergencies

And sometimes I’ll have a lunch box packed.

Some tissues. I have the bladder of a toddler.

A pair of glasses and sunnies.

Check out my normal bag in the bag tag on my channel!!

Share yours with me!!
Comment down below with your links!

Lots of love,
Jabi

The South African Tag / The Answers post

Hi everyone!

Tried to tag as many SA bloggers as I could and the questions are available in my last post if you still want to participate!!

Had so much fun recording this video but I thought that I should also make it a post on here because most of you will be doing it on yours!!!

So this is sort of what I said in my video!

1.       How many types of coffee do you have per day? Which type of coffee and why?

2 cups! In the morning (I’m sometimes always late so I can’t sit down and enjoy a good breakfast) and I have a severe craving for another cup at like 11pm. Then I truely feel cursed when I have a severe case of epic insomnia!

2.       Favourite part of the 7-colour Sunday dish?

We don’t eat that much so we usually skip the rice, meat, veggies, beetroot, coleslaw, desert, wine routine for the standard rice en chicken and sometimes a little gravy. I’ll spot my plate easily because mine is the one with the least food. My mom isn’t a big fan of soda drinks so sometimes you’ll have to survive without it!! Haha!

3.       Which sport will you spend most of Saturday watching while having a classic South African braai?

Options : Cricket/Soccer/Rugby?

Definitely cricket!! I mean the other two just bring too much drama!! And screaming at the TV is just not on. Cricket is just calmer and the game is just chilled to talk about. You’re most times in favour of the umpire. The other two – you hate the ref, that guy is awful and should just retire and you’re never satisfied with the goalkeeper’s performance because you believe you can play better than him...

I just can’t deal with that!

4.       Favourite South African word/phrase and a word that annoys you?

Annoying..mabebeza!! I just shut down when I hear it!! It’s not sexy.

 Fave..is the swati word for a male hen!! Too hilarious!

5.       South African treat?

One bite of a tasty koeksister!!

6.       Which South African dj rocks your socks?

I’m not a house music fan but my brother would kill to meet dj Kent! I have no idea who he is!

7.       Favourite South African personality?

Khanyi Dlomo – CEO of Ndalo Media and Founder of Destiny Magazine!! She’s a gorg bawse lady!

Nicky Greenwall – I envy her love and passion for the entertainment industry. My favourite show used to be The ShowBiz Report!! And I never really got to watch The Close Up because we had no tv at uni. So that makes me quite sad! Currently ScreenTime is also my fave show!

8.       Favourite Province? Why?

I love the city! But here in Mpumalanga you can just unplug and unwind. And I see myself as a person who needs a lot of alone time and I think it’s only possible here amongst the animals and tall trees and unscheduled rain showers!

9.       How many South African languages do you speak?

SiSwati, English and Afrikaans!

10.   Favourite song?

HHP – Mpitse + Music and Lights

11.   TV show watched by most South Africans which is also a must-watch in your family?

7de Laan! That’s how we learnt to speak Afrikaans! I stopped watching it for a while but now that I’m back home my mom is like..”Is it 6:30 – it’s 7de Laan time!!” *Rolls eyes*  ..goodness.

The South African Tag! //The Questions

Hi Everyone!

I hope you had a wonderful Christmas! I'm ready to get 2015 up and running!

So to get things moving I've altered the British Tag so that we can 'tekkel' it properly! Haha!

Call me a romantic(?) but I really hope this tag will help us become more of a community so that blogging can be a more real platform in South Africa.

And so that some of us can find people in the corners of each province who are more like us so that we can connect online through sharing some cute clothes or awesome make-up products!

I hope you have fun!

These are the questions! Please tag every blogger you know!

1. How many cups of coffee do you have per day? What type of coffee and why?

2. Fave part of the 7-colour Sunday dish?

3. What sports team would you spend most of Saturday watching while enjoying a classic South African braai?
-Soccer/Rugby/Cricket

4. Fave South African word/phrase + most annoying?

5. South African treat?

6. Which SA DJ rocks your socks?

7. Favourite SA personality? Why?

8. Favourite province? Its main attraction?

9. How many South African languages can you speak?

10. Favourite South African Song?

11. TV show watched by most South Africans that's also a must-watch in your family?


My answers will be on my channel next week!! Can't wait to watch/read yours!

I Tag- EVERYONE!! I'll give some special mentions on twitter next week!

Xx