How to keep your promise/oath/vow

Hi guys!!

Slightly different post but this crept so deep into my heart that I decided to talk about it here. The world has gotten so small. Everyone has just adapted to the current trends and current beliefs but people who really believe in God know that He’s stayed the same.

Today I read a story about Jimdre Westbrook. He’s a 31 year old virgin who took a vow to remain a virgin till he’s married. Obviously I looked him up and read a couple of interviews about his website WorthTheWaitGuy.com. A couple of things stand out which are also things that I think will help anybody who’s also trying to stay celibate.

Disclaimer : This post is not about his virginity, it's about using his story to help you keep your vow and/or help you re-commit to a promise you once made!

I’ll be quoting from his interview because I found that he addressed some of the problems/situations we face today and basically to summarise what I’ve learned from it.

1.       He’s from Las Vegas

When I read that I was like whaaaaat? He’s right at the centre of the most care-free place! People like to blame their environment. From the community I’m from, I’m supposed to have had 3 kids, a husband that cheats on me with a woman he’s making me live with, that he dragged out from the house next door to where his mom lives in his old neighbourhood. It sounds dramatic but my neighbour had 2 wives. 2 of my uncles have 2 wives. It’s how I grew up. But I know that I’m only made for one person that I do not share. Just because I’m surrounded by this doesn’t mean that it’s what I should look forward to.

2.       He’s 31.

Every time I have lunch with my brother he’s always asking me why he doesn’t have a brother-in-law yet. ALL THE TIME. It’s because most guys I’ve come across don’t value girls with promises. It’s so rare to find a guy who’s made up their mind. Marriage doesn’t mean death. So in general guys don’t want to wait. And then they’ll pull the ‘if you love me, you’ll do it’ card. I’ve read so many stories that contain those words. And the other thing those stories have in common is that they involve 18/19 year old girls. Wait until you’re old enough/feel ready.

3.       “I feel that living at your own pace is very important”

That should be written in stone!! It’s so easy to get caught up in how fast the world is going by. People want everything NOW. Nothing is scared anymore and people are constantly trying to influence other people to go down the wrong path so that they can join them there. I absolutely get so upset when people at work say that because I’m 23 and currently not married, time is passing me by and that by the time I do want to get married, there’ll be no-one left! I like to call that ‘small town mentality’ because they think there isn’t a huge world outside of our town. Know yourself so well that you can’t be altered by someone’s opinion that holds no value.

4.       “I feel like I’m worth the wait because God’s worth the wait”

I’ve been sort of trying to think what he meant with the second part because without explaining further it could mean a couple of things. I choose to look at it as He’s honouring God by keeping his promise to Him. It’s definitely not the easiest thing to do! Promises are based on a series of decisions. The first decision is the actual promise and the rest of the decisions are the ones you make in trying to keep the original promise. I’ve come to experience that in my own life. I don’t drink alcohol. It’s the first decision I made, the rest of the decision I had to make was to say ‘no thanks- do you have coke?’ when it was being offered to me.

5.       “I’m not the one to judge people or to say she has to be exactly like me”

This is so key. Judgment is one of things that make people look down on Christianity. People don’t forgive easily which makes people opt to rather live aimlessly. Don’t live for people but exist for something. I think that you don’t really know someone until you know their life story and you’re not in a position to judge them for the person that they are. Just like you wouldn’t want someone to judge you for how you’ve lived out your journey. Really walk a mile in someone’s shoes as you’d want them to extend you the same courtesy.

I hope you guys found this post helpful!!

Xx

Lace Top and Bow Skirt

Hi everyone!!

Over the weekend I was experimenting with some looks. I've never thought about this combination until I started looking around for some neutral colours! Since then this has been my favourite pairing!

I would wear this for drinks with the girls or some sort of cocktail function or even date night on a hot summer night!!

I know some of you guys have the skort - which was one of the trends last summer so that could easily be paired with a nice lace top for effortless chic!

What do you guys think?

Lace top - Cotton On(old)

Skirt - MrPrice

Shoes - MrPrice(old)

Till next time!!

xx

How to End the year like a LEGEND!

Hi Everyone!!

At this point in the year we’re all getting exhausted. We just can’t wait for the summer time even though we’ve only gone through winter for a short time. Everyone is letting go of all the essentials: the hair (solution: winter hats and beanies), the waxing (seriously? You’re in stockings all day and leg warmers at night and long sleeve tops), the exercising (it’s too cold and you’d rather remain in bed) and the New Year’s Resolutions (gurl, that was 6 months ago okaaaaaaaay??)

So a couple of thoughts come up.

1.       How will you spend the rest of the year?

2.       Re-evaluate your goals/adjust /create new ones?

3.       Make life altering changes?

If you’ve gotten comfy with your surroundings and you haven’t done something exciting all year you obviously need to shake things up. It must be awful to drag yourself all year. You have no memories of anything and you can’t remember when you did what because you’re passing through your own life!

-Make a list of things you want to do! Things you like but haven’t done and atleast attempt to do one thing!

-Surround yourself with people with similar interests. Challenge each other in becoming better version of yourselves. Don’t compete. There’s nothing that tears girls apart faster than that (except boys, LOL)

-If the goals you made at the beginning of the year are unrealistic, don’t scrap them – just re-adjust. Make them more flexible and make them work for you. There’s nothing worse than being strangled by a schedule that you created.

-My life altering change would be to change careers but I’m not financially ready for it. Even taking a leap needs planning. You don’t want to hate yourself for pursuing a dream. Your dream will die and then you won’t have anything to live for and that is worse than a tragedy.

-Be ready for anything. Never limit yourself in a little box. I did that for years and finally when I realized how round the earth was, I started opening myself up to new possibilities. In order to go to New York I had to go through a panel interview. Guys, a one on one interview used to render me mute!  And then I had to go through five accomplished adults. One man came out of the interview and told the next candidate what an amazing young woman I was and if you ask me today what the questions were – I wouldn’t even be able to tell you because I was so scared. And then a couple of months later I took my first flight to the Big Apple. Risks=Rewards.

-Shy doesn’t mean unable. When I was younger I used to think that no-one wants to hear me speak. I think I didn’t want to hear myself speak. I just thought that seeing that I wasn’t outspoken, my opinion didn’t matter. And that’s how most things passed me by. Looking back, that’s the worst thing that I had to go through in highschool but finding myself step by step was also good for me!

All the above mentioned options are all open and are without restriction. Shake off the last 6 months and look forward to shaking things up in the second part of the year!

Live loud. And Live Free!

Till next time!!

xx

How to start saving

Hi everyone!!

I think that saving is such an important aspect of our lives as young adults. The road in front of us is just so open and we don’t know what will happen in five, ten or twenty years from now.

Job Security is such an important part of our lives too. It’s always about the economy. So many young and qualified people are unemployed and there’s nothing they can do. I’ve been there and it was such a nightmare. But once you start working there’s just so many things that you need and just can’t live without.

Girls, let’s be honest. We need everything. Those boots, that watch, that hair. And everything is sooo expensive. I’ve now entered into the life of quality buying. I still buy for quantity (there’s nothing that saddens me more than running out of clothes – what is that??) but now I buy for durability because I believe that I take good care of things I had to buy myself.

google images

Here is how you can still enjoy life and have savings:

As soon as you receive your cheque – take out the amount you want to save and put it in another account or investment plan that will earn you interest.

Make peace from the beginning that that money is untouchable. Otherwise you will rely on it and ruin your investment plan.

Give it a name. What is it for? If it’s money without a goal sometimes you see its usefulness. It will always be your reserve tank when you run into some issues. If it’s for something more tangible you’ll be more motivated to keep going.

Use a method that is beneficial to you. We all want to dig a hole and out money in there but there’s so many options now where you can get a bigger return. I’d suggest that proper research if you want to invest into more high risk investments but if you’ve never saved on your own before or with lower risk options, I’d suggest that you leave the high risk options for now.

Transfer control over that money to someone else. The bank/investment fund. Any money you have access to will always slip from your fingers. No matter how control freaky you are.

In order for these tips to work you must be determined to save. It is not easy so if you do it half-heartedly you’ll just never leave your point of departure.

Personal Side Story

My mom made a small decision after she just started working to have R100 taken from her account into some investment plan she participated in. Because the amount is so minimal she wasn’t really concerned with it. Then one day I think about 5 years ago she wanted to start her own life policy plan with Old Mutual and they found that investment plan had almost R40k in it! And she started it in her twenties! Because she didn’t know she had it, it’s as if overnight money fell into her lap and it just shows the type of mindset needed to pull off the savings game!

I hope this helps!!

Till next time!

How to shop debt free

Hi everyone!!

picture: Google Images

OMW guys!! This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life! I’m addicted to clothes. I’m sure most girls are like that and it’s really nice to be independent and working for my own money but one thing is painfully becoming clearer. I simply just can’t afford myself!

I grew up in a house where we had to wait for my mom to complete the ‘savings cycle’ before we could get anything we wanted, that she classified as a ‘luxury’. And it was really painful because by the time you had it, everyone else was already over it. And I now understand her crazy control over money.

So far I’ve managed to live debt free but everytime I set up my budget I quickly realize that I need additional money. One thing someone very wise taught me was – just because you can pay it back doesn’t mean you can afford it. Sit down and calculate the money you need to pay back, for something that you needed a bit more patience to save for. In South Africa retailers add up to an additional 20% on your account which is super ridiculous seeing that you’re paying it off over 3 to 4 months.

I also know about things that may derail your plans. Like sending money home (yes, people still do that) and paying off college debts, studying part time, having to buy necessary furniture and also having to squeeze in entertainment in there (let’s face it – a turn up is coming). This is really when you need to apply some of the stages of grief. If you stay in denial, you’ll definitely be screwed in the days leading to your next pay cheque (trust me – I’ve been there). Acceptance is the only thing that will get you through. Accept that you can’t buy those boots/watch/concealer. The sooner, the better because if you’re anything like me you’ll find yourself saying…I need it, I’ll deal with the consequences later. And the consequences are never friendly!

Here are some tips:

·         Set up a budget based on the things that you need. Start with the fixed costs. Like your accommodation, electricity bill, groceries (estimation), outstanding debts that need to be taken care of.

·         From the remaining balance, remove the money you want to save. Start small. We all have #savingsgoals but if you’re not realistic, will lose the courage to try again if things don’t according to plan.

·         Go window shopping 2 days before day of shopping to get an idea of the prices.

·         If you like to go for drinks on most weekends, classify that under ‘entertainment’. This is the money we all remember when the days are dark. Sit down with a person you always go out with so that you don’t make a low estimate. These days we have fun on a budget (lol).

·         After you’ve drawn up your budget and taken out your savings, make peace with the fact that the money remaining is your variable costs money for 30 days. And those days are LOOOONNNGG!!

·         To be a control freak on the next level, I’d suggest that you use the same no cost survival skills you used when there was no money (or less money) to survive when you have money. Like not going to the mall to do nothing, first thinking if something is a necessity or not, and making a lunch box to work rather than buying, go for 4 days or more without takeaways, etc.

·         Girl Tip – don’t buy things that you don’t use every day when your budget is tight. Rather than buying shoes fit for a wedding costing R600 or so rather buy 2 pairs of ‘work shoes’ and a few accessories for work. If you find nice things you can work them into a more formal outfit by adding on a blazer and a statement neckpiece.

·         Guy tip – Your clothes are so expensive. I’ve met guys who are such brand lovers. If you can’t afford it go ahead and get those jeans but buy cheaper shirts so that you can alternate at the top. It’s all about selection. And a basic tee always looks nice on a guy. No-one will know where it’s from but you because they all look the same. Living above your means is not worth it.

I hope these tips will be helpful! I think in the end living debt free is a mind thing. Change your attitude about the things you need and things you can’t live without.

Till next time!!

How to take a man search break

Hi everyone!!

As part of resolutions and scary birthdays where you realize that you’re not getting any younger we (girls) tend to take drastic measures to correct all the years of being single! Admit it!

Lol, but I think after a couple of months of exploring in #theyearoffindingbae we realize that it’s not easy to put your heart out there. The vulnerability. The danger. The compromises. The withdrawl.

I think that when you start changing  like letting your emotions run wild fuelled with jealousy and rage because of the hurt you feel when some of these flirtations/brief relationships don’t work out -then you must know that it’s time to take a break.

These tips will help:

1.       Cut out those people that were too toxic to be around. That made you doubt yourself or diminished your values and questioned things that were the foundation of your existence. They’ll just continue to do that until there’s nothing left. Typically when he abandons you (eventually) - you won’t know what a healthy relationship feels like.

How to do that?

·         Delete their number from your phone

·         Block any incoming calls from them

·         Have NO communication with them.

·         Don’t ‘accidently’ bump into them. Shop elsewhere.

2.       Hang around other single positive people. Not people who talk about their ex all the time. Or someone who’s prone to one night stands or any other random sexual encounters because they’ll probably want to tell you about them. Be with other girls who are about to start a new project or are being promoted or people who travel just so that you can talk about anything other that longing for someone.

3.       Decide to put your journey on hold. I feel like finding someone shouldn’t be a goal. It’s like people trying to get pregnant. I feel like if you force it – that’s when it won’t happen for you. The most amazing love story I’ve ever heard was of Michelle Phan and Dom. She was just having a cup of coffee in Paris as part of exploring the city and when Dom saw her, he knew. I mean who knew he was even going to be there? And he’s been her biggest love ever since.

4.       Continue being confident! Wear heels. Don’t leave the house without make-up. Always add to your Victoria’s Secret collection! Just because you’re not looking for him doesn’t mean that he shouldn’t look for you! Be radiant ALL the time! Beauty really starts from within and you should continue taking it to higher levels. 

      There’s no bigger compliment than: ‘SHE’S BEAUTIFUL…INSIDE AND OUT’!!

Live your life!!

My Top 20 movies of ALL time

Hi everyone! 

Something different today. Decided to put this on paper because I sometimes forget a critical movie and then get very depressed about it (as if I don’t have stuff to do). So I put this list together based on the fact that I got my money’s worth watching it on the big screen and that I thought the creativity was insane. Some of them made me follow the actor/actress in other projects because of their amazing performance in this particular movie!

1.       Inception.

OMW. This movie blew my mind! Didn’t want to see it at first because I couldn’t identify with the topic of ‘dream stealers’ but wow can I tell you all about it now! Christopher Nolan is now one of my Blockbuster Icons.

2.       Batman: The Dark Knight

OMW. Heath Ledger was sooooo amazing as The Joker. I can delete all my movies but that one will always remain. I’ve never really seen him in anything else and I won’t because this was his best Oscar winning performance and I don’t want to spoil it.

3.       Ironman 3

Not that I don’t love the 1^st two but this one is right up there. The visuals, the many suits and Pepper Potts getting a bigger role and the villain being older man sexy!

4.       Marvel’s the Avengers

OMW. That’s like my favourite people in one movie! I have to say that I’m soo happy that Mark Ruffalo was the Hulk. Not that I didn’t like Edward it’s just that this guy just had it in him. The geek side, the shyness, the genius and when he transforms, it just feels right.

5.       Thor: The Dark World

OMW. Chris Hemsworth was just born to play Thor. I don’t care what they put on him to look like that but man does that character suit him. I also like how Idris Elba portrayed his role and how Tom Middleton manages to make me hate him in the movie! Also loved Rene Russo’s role as Thor’s mom. She just made me want to call her ‘Your highness'.

6.       Captain America 2: The Winter Soldier

Samuel L. Jackson has been in a lot of movies but I really see him most fitting to play Nick Fury. He has that authority vibe going on making you feel safe to be on team Shield. Of course I also watch the TV show and I think that it’s a crime that Agent May wasn't in the movie. She's so cool!

7.       The Fifth Element

Guys, this is an old movie but omw was everyone fantastic in it! The creativity was on another level. I feel like I have an eye for good syfy and this was it. And Milla and Bruce Willis are the only people who could’ve pulled it off. And Chris Tucker should’ve gotten an Oscar for his performance! I also thought the story was original and easy enough to follow and relate to.

8.       Gone Girl

Never read this book but I’m so glad I watched the movie! I was invited by a friend and I was sooo shocked at the level of complexity in the storyline and I completely blown away by Rosamund Pike’s performance and really thought that she was going to get an Oscar for her role. Maybe next time!

9.       Red 2

If I could ever find love, it will definitely be the way Bruce Willis and Mary- Jane finds it in this movie. Red 2 is better because it’s filled with more action and a lot more humor and the storyline becomes so deep and all the characters just create a deeper bond with each other. Hellen Mirren’s character in this movie makes you want to see her with a gun in all movies!

10.    Mission Impossible 4: Ghost Protocol
Not that I didn’t love the one with Maggie Q in that amazing red dress, I just think that the 4^th instalment was soo much bigger than the others. Paula Patton as amazing and all of Tom’s stunt were flawless and created so much anxiety! I also think that using the Burj was the perfect place for the mission just like Eiffel Tower was in Rush Hour.

11.    Seven Pounds

I believe in love. And in this movie I believe that they took it to the next level. The storyline was so extraordinary, so unique, so selfish. And I cried like a baby at the end. Like sobbed. And I think Will Smith and Rosario Dawson were best suited to bring those people to life.

12.    Fast 6

Let me be clear- I’m not a fan of the franchise so this one was the first one I watched and omw was it a thrill of a lifetime! Not enough to go back thou! All the characters were just sooo ‘at home’ and are really invested in these characters so it was pretty easy to figure out what went on. And the action was sooo on point! More than the racing itself so I really appreciated that. And the movie gives you a sense of family which makes it easily relatable.

13.    Now you see me

This movie is the result of what I would call Magicians United. I feel like I went in there with no expectations and the movie just delivered. I’m not a fan of magic reality shows so I don’t know if all the magic fans were disappointed but I was so glued to the storyline and the tricks and ‘lesson to be learnt’ that I thought that it must have taken them quite some time to make it unique. So 13 thumbs up!

14.    Law Abiding Citizen

Oldie but still a goodie! I like a man with a plan! Even a revenge plan on the big screen. What happened with the lead character portrayed by Gerald Butler made us all identify with him and so his journey made us all gasp and wonder what came next. I would watch that movie again any day.

15.    Avatar

I think this is some people’s number one but I only watched Avatar once, loved it but would never watch it again. When I checked I heard that it was the best-selling movie of all time that replaced Titanic and later found out that it was directed by the same director James Cameron. This guy has the gift of going big and I admire that in a visionary person!

16.    Fantastic Four: Rise of Silver Surfer

I don’t know what’s up with me and my attraction to nerds but man do I love Mr Fantastic in this movie! He is so gorg! I also love The Thing. He reminds of Hulk. And I just felt like the sequel was just bigger and better! And that spaceship thing he made was like nerdtastic!

17.    The Women

Never really been a fan of Meg Ryan but there’s two movies where she does it for me and it’s this one and Kate & Leopold. Hugh Jackman was probably the reason for my ability to fall in love in that movie! In this one I just like how middle aged women were facing real problems together and it just made me want to have a bond like that in future.

18.    Colombiana

My girl crush of all time Zoe Saldana kicks a$$ in this movie the way I like it! I especially connected with her vulnerability with her boyfriend when he really wanted to get to ‘know’ her and the danger that brought to her very existence. And she just looked so flawless throughout!

19.    Wolverine

Hugh Jackman is one of my favourite actors of all time and there’s truly no-one better to bring this beast to life. Amazing direction of photography, raw action and all the characters really made you understand how X-Men came to be born to what we know it as today. 

20.    It’s complicated/The proposal.

Both these movies are at number 20 because I didn’t know which one to choose. Meryl Streep is an amazing actress and this movie made me understand old people and how love can evolve if/when you just let go.  I guess the same is true about Sandra Bullock’s character. She built such a strong wall around herself that it was terrifying when a good man wanted to break them down. But seriously, who’s not in love with Ryan Reynolds by now?

What do you guys think?

Pictures from Google

How to get Berry Lips - Part one

Hi everyone!!

Today I'm doing an unusual tutorial because I've never really done a make-up look on the blog before. So since starting work I've stuck to neutrals on my lips but every now and again I'll go all badgirl berry for fun. So today I'm showing you how I put the look together without actually having all the 'right' tools!

This is the look!

What do you guys think?

Step 1: I use my mom's grape lipliner to line my lips. I've found that without it I struggle to use a lip crayon or a normal lipstick because I just find myself looking like a hot mess. So lipliners have literally saved my life.

 Step 2: the strange part - Here I use Red as my 'base' for my matte lipgloss because I don't have a grape/plum lipstick yet. It has a lot of moisture so it's perfect to act as a foundation for the next step.

Step 3: Apply matte lipgloss! Guys I luuuurve this lipgloss. Spoke about it in a previous post and I'm stick sooo addicted to it!

These are my tools!

Coppelia Colour  lipstick in 'Crimson Red'

Coppelia Colour matte lipgloss 

Colorlook lipliner in 'grape'

All these products can be found at Avroy Shlain. Avon is also a pretty good option!

How to Disconnect

Hi everyone!

Last year was a pretty awful year and so many things just went wrong. I was exhausted - mentally, physically and just so emotionally drained. If you really want to be happy be sure that you know what you want to become before you run off to college because it’s really in those last moments when you’ll have to decide if something is really worth it. Learnt that the hard way.

So I’m going to take you through the journey I went through when my world came crashing down. To be clear - this ended up being the best thing that has happened to me. When you’re a level 2 control freak like me, your world no longer makes sense when you’re not in control.
So this is what I went through to completely let go:

Go home.

Delete your Facebook account. Don’t just avoid it. Delete it and never go back till you’re ready. All you’re missing is just people having a good time and that will make you feel worse about what you’re going through.

Log out of Twitter. If you want to follow recent fashion trends or follow people who do positive things like pastors and motivational speakers – then open up another twitter account and only follow them. When you’re better you can always delete it and go back to the one you had.

Delete Whatsapp. If you have caring friends then they’ll obviously worry about you. You know you’re not okay so imagine them asking you if you’re okay everyday? It will drive you insane!! Cut off all communication.

Tell your friends in advance. If you’re going on a journey of total isolation, it
doesn’t mean that people will stop looking for you. So tell your friends that you need some time. It’s important to assure them that you will let them know when you’re available again. I took 3 months for me to be alone and having friends who understood that made it a do-able journey.

Tell your family to leave you alone. If you have a mom like mine, something like that is not easy and was an ongoing struggle for me. She just didn’t understand what I was going through. She wanted me to have ‘a plan’ and for the first time I wanted to let go of all my plans and she wouldn’t let me. It will always end up in an argument, then I’ll cry and she’ll let me have a day or 2 and then start pecking at me again. Up until one day my cousins spoke to her and she gave me some breathing room. If your family doesn’t listen to you get someone who they will listen to, to speak to them.

Make a decision about atleast one thing. When at cross roads you definitely know that one of those roads are definitely not worth travelling. You’re not sure about it but you definitely know it won’t bring you happiness. Sometimes your family will force you to go on it because they think it’s what is best for you and because the one you want has no promises. It is here where you need to take a stand a make a decision that you know will benefit you in the long run.
Prayer. Obviously we are all different. But through my journey all I could do was pray. Pray that I didn’t make the wrong decision and also that something will happen that will show me where to go. Since then I’ve been so blessed and showered with favour. And that’s another thing about things just happening…it’s hard. It comes with other factors that will test how much you want this new thing that’s just been handed to you. Perseverance is key.
I feel like I can talk all day about this topic because it has really shaped my life to where it is now. I feel different and I can say that I’m happy about letting go. It’s truly liberating!
Talk soon
Jabi

How to BUILD Confidence from the ground up!

Hi everyone!!

When I look up the word confidence I just found long sentences trying to explain it but loved what was said about ‘self-confidence’ just a bit more.

“when one does not dwell on negative consequences one can be more ‘self-confident’ because one is worrying far less about failure/disapproval of others following potential failure. One is then more likely to focus on the actual situation which means that the enjoyment and success in that situation is also more probable.”

I mean... doesn’t that just speak to you? Confidence is really something you build inside. Later on people will be able to see it on the outside. And it does not happen overnight – practice makes perfect!!

So throughout my life I was known as that critically shy girl. It was just written all over me. You could see it in the way I walk, talk, dress and I guess in the way I carried myself.

Until I got to university and developed a love for fashion and all things pretty. And part of the reason was probably because I could now buy it myself. Before, my mother tried to make me a tomboy and she bought my clothes that made me feel so ugly and buried.

Getting new clothes also meant looking more confident because I can’t have hunched shoulders in a beautiful bodycon dress. Unless you really want to destroy it. Had to walk up straight and pretend to be a pro in heels (not pretending meant letting everyone see that you do the funky chicken).

So here are some quick tips to help you look confident:

STAND UP STRAIGHT! Obviously this is like step one of life. People just respond better to what you say if you look like you care about yourself and you know what you’re talking about.
KNOW YOUR BODY! Don’t wear things that don’t fit you. People judge you based on that sometimes even if they don’t say it. Their minds make that decision for them.

BE APPROACHABLE. This is still an ongoing struggle for me. Doesn’t matter how friendly I try to be, people still feel afraid to get to know me. But once they do, they don’t understand where I’ve been all their lives!!(lol)

IT’S OKAY TO BE DIFFERENT. You don’t have to like stuff that other people like. Part of being confident (like above) is to enjoy what you like. Be who you like to be and not what a box that people might place you in.

DON’T CARE about things that don’t add value to your life. This took me a long, long time to master. I used to lie awake at night thinking about something someone said and 3 days later it would still bother me while that person lives on. That is precious time that I will never get back.

MAKE-UP! It is such an effective tool in trying to look strong, confident and sane. One day I was probably having the worst day and a friend of mine was like ‘Wow, you sure look good for someone who’s going through something like that’ and I was like YAASSSSS!

A POSITIVE ATTITUDE! It’s so infectious. And a powerful tool of not accepting defeat.

DO YOU FEEL HALFWAY THERE ALREADY?

Obviously you don't have to do all these things at once! Take it one day at a time! Sooner or later people will start to notice it!

Lots of Love

Jbi!

How to end a BAD friendship

Hi everyone!!

From the title I guess it sounds pretty harsh right?

It’s actually more real than anything else. I recently read an article in Seventeen Magazine about a girl who was raped by her boyfriend. If that wasn’t enough to creep me out I just can’t forget her saying that when she brought up it up with her friends they just didn’t LISTEN to her. This obviously worst case of bad friends so I’m just blessed I guess – to have all my friends in my life who would have really listened to me.

So today’s kind of bad friend is really someone who you really burdens you.

These things have happened/ currently happening:

·        You show up for their accomplishments and they never celebrate yours with you.

·         You are always calling them and they don’t bother to check in with you with any of the IM platforms   available

·        You always ask about things happening in their life and they never go..’and you?’

·        When they need alone time they don’t notify you and then blame you for not checking on them

·         They always judge/criticize you when all you really needed was someone to talk to

·         They make you feel negative about life whether it’s them always complaining about life/you feeling depressed

These are basically all the things that indicate ‘bad friend’ to me. I know that some people have it worse but maybe it’s because I don’t have time to invest quality time into a friendship that won’t have a positive influence on me. I always strive to be the best friend that I can be so in return all I basically need is for someone to do that for me.

If you have a bad friend like that sooner or later they won’t show up to something that is at the top of your list of important things that you would have sacrificed your own personal plans to be there for them.

It’s really the little things for me that speaks volumes.

Obviously we can’t be where we want be at the same time but a friend always knows how to celebrate you from miles away and how you feel about certain things and what it means for your friendship to spend quality time together.

Friendships that are a burden for you will poison you whether it’s happening now or not. You can have a million facebook friends but at the end of the day only your best friends will worry about you/check up on you and call you on your birthday. Those are the ones worth keeping. And those are the friends we all appreciate.

Have you ever walked away from a friend? What was your dealbreaker?

With love

Jabi

First Job Jitters( an update)

Hi everyone!

I think I owe you guys an update!

So recently I started a new job and it’s been quite stressful. Let me be clear though I like what I do and it’s what I went to school for. I think at the time I got it I had run out of options and felt really bad that I couldn’t contribute to my family. Also at the time - everyone was pretty much getting back from the holidays so money was really really scarce. So I decided to pause my ‘figure my life out plan’ and basically grow up.

So it’s an 8-5 job errday type of job and I honestly have to say that I’ve never been so tired in my life. I thought that I was tired during university but now I realize that I was soooo kidding myself. Luckily my new team isn’t that big which I guess has its pros and cons. Some days I wish that there were more so that there’s (I guess) a chance that there’s a person with my sort of personality. If I could describe them I’d probably say that they are extremely technical, numerical and focused, which is not unusual in this sort of environment. This just means that I’m just all alone in a group of people five days a week.

I’m so grateful to God because I feel like getting here was just prayer and God showing me favour. When we underwent training there was a lot of people there who were talking about some of their friends who were still looking for a job. One of my best friends is also looking and she’s qualified so this was totally relatable. I’m a huge believer in the relief you experience when you cry - so every night when nothing went well during the day I’d reserve the nights for sobbing. Not the depressing kind though because on each new day I was just ready for new things!

So what’s next for my blog? I’ve been asking myself this question so many times because since I started working I leave before the glorious crack of dawn and return home wayyyy after sundown. And so far I’ve had zero time for shoots or reviews or hauls or any of my favourite things! It just truly breaks my heart to live this way! Worst part is – there is really nothing I can do about it until I move closer to work and I have no idea when that will happen right now.

So I just need you guys to know that I’m alive!! I’m just in another phase in my life where I have to pay bills and stuff! I hope that we can grow this year because now I will actually be able to do hauls more often and sort of grow into the style that I identify with!

Lots of Love!!

<3

The South African Tag / The Answers post

Hi everyone!

Tried to tag as many SA bloggers as I could and the questions are available in my last post if you still want to participate!!

Had so much fun recording this video but I thought that I should also make it a post on here because most of you will be doing it on yours!!!

So this is sort of what I said in my video!

1.       How many types of coffee do you have per day? Which type of coffee and why?

2 cups! In the morning (I’m sometimes always late so I can’t sit down and enjoy a good breakfast) and I have a severe craving for another cup at like 11pm. Then I truely feel cursed when I have a severe case of epic insomnia!

2.       Favourite part of the 7-colour Sunday dish?

We don’t eat that much so we usually skip the rice, meat, veggies, beetroot, coleslaw, desert, wine routine for the standard rice en chicken and sometimes a little gravy. I’ll spot my plate easily because mine is the one with the least food. My mom isn’t a big fan of soda drinks so sometimes you’ll have to survive without it!! Haha!

3.       Which sport will you spend most of Saturday watching while having a classic South African braai?

Options : Cricket/Soccer/Rugby?

Definitely cricket!! I mean the other two just bring too much drama!! And screaming at the TV is just not on. Cricket is just calmer and the game is just chilled to talk about. You’re most times in favour of the umpire. The other two – you hate the ref, that guy is awful and should just retire and you’re never satisfied with the goalkeeper’s performance because you believe you can play better than him...

I just can’t deal with that!

4.       Favourite South African word/phrase and a word that annoys you?

Annoying..mabebeza!! I just shut down when I hear it!! It’s not sexy.

 Fave..is the swati word for a male hen!! Too hilarious!

5.       South African treat?

One bite of a tasty koeksister!!

6.       Which South African dj rocks your socks?

I’m not a house music fan but my brother would kill to meet dj Kent! I have no idea who he is!

7.       Favourite South African personality?

Khanyi Dlomo – CEO of Ndalo Media and Founder of Destiny Magazine!! She’s a gorg bawse lady!

Nicky Greenwall – I envy her love and passion for the entertainment industry. My favourite show used to be The ShowBiz Report!! And I never really got to watch The Close Up because we had no tv at uni. So that makes me quite sad! Currently ScreenTime is also my fave show!

8.       Favourite Province? Why?

I love the city! But here in Mpumalanga you can just unplug and unwind. And I see myself as a person who needs a lot of alone time and I think it’s only possible here amongst the animals and tall trees and unscheduled rain showers!

9.       How many South African languages do you speak?

SiSwati, English and Afrikaans!

10.   Favourite song?

HHP – Mpitse + Music and Lights

11.   TV show watched by most South Africans which is also a must-watch in your family?

7de Laan! That’s how we learnt to speak Afrikaans! I stopped watching it for a while but now that I’m back home my mom is like..”Is it 6:30 – it’s 7de Laan time!!” *Rolls eyes*  ..goodness.