Monday, 29 August 2016

Essentials :: Corporate Summer Look

Hi Everyone!

I’ve been having an interesting August. By now I would have already packed a bag to work out of town (again) for 3 months. But for some reason I’m still in town and I’m all of a sudden in charge of our smaller clients (for the first time ever!) with even less supervision which is such good progress!
So the winter is slowly disappearing and Spring is almost around the corner so we normally skip right into Summer because it's already super hot! Recently, the biggest challenge is finding the best combination in transitioning back into your summer wardrobe but also being super comfortable at the office all day.

Today I will highlight some essentials that you’ll need to kick Summer’s butt. You guys know I’m all about being anxiety-free and most times it really comes from not feeling comfortable in what you’re wearing! But there are solutions and the ones below is how you can also make it happen!

For Men

-          Slim fit look
As of late, it has become very important for guys to look fresh at work. It’s so important that guys know what suits their bodies to have that crisp and stud look. What's even more important is also what's underneath! Undershirts should be a soft layer that you can barely feel and should also not burden your overall fitted look!
-          Discreet and Comfortable
Look, we’ve all seen those ‘adjusting grazes’ with guys! LET’S BE HONEST. Truly, I have no idea what guys go through to be comfortable in suits but why don’t we take a moment and look into some good alternatives. At the end of the day all you need is something with the best fabric, the best fit and something with a practical function like these options from Tommy John .
-          Can men Accessorize?
Lol, guys have such limited options so it's always best to stick to basics. Clean and simple looks very attractive. Even something basic like a good hair cut! Sometimes I’d like to think that it means that you’re a clean person overall. LOL! So even through the going into the summer you want to stick to cool and calm colours like all shades of blue. Also take your blazer with to assist in having the perfect balance between the heat outside and the cool air in your everyday office.

For Women
-          Stick to ready to wear pieces.
As of late I find myself drawn to dresses. Especially ones that do not need to ironed. Yes, it can get difficult when you’ve had too much to eat over the winter and you were able to layer it over with jackets and sweaters. It just so ready to wear and it still gives you that professional and effortless look.
-          The right fit.
We all build our days up to that moment when you unhook your bra when you get home but there’s no bigger torture than wanting to take it off every second of every day! Sure, you can bear it when there’s a hundred layers on top during the layering season, however it’s extra important to take the time to find the right undies that fit you!
-          If the shoe fits
Women love shoes. Whether they can walk in them or not. Now that we’re transitioning into Spring/Summer I can’t wait to break out the strappy heels!! They are just flattering and super comfortable and great for an overall corporate summer look! Even with pants!

At the end of the day we all need to adapt to the next season. So whether you’re a man/woman it’s always important to look for the next level of COMFORT so that all you need to take care of is smashing your deadlines and to be absolutely stress-free!


Tuesday, 23 August 2016

10 things I learnt in my First Year of Work

Hi everyone!

It’s been exactly 19 months since I became a person with bills! What a journey it’s been! I’ve gone from wanting to take a gapyear to 100% anxiety almost every day to being brave in order to learn as much as possible. As you know I do not enjoy my full time job at all and what you guys might not know is that it’s actually a learnership so you are sort of compelled to complete it. So that’s been super stressful because it comes with part time studying which is probably the most frustrating thing I’ve ever had to do.

So despite all that I’ve had to grow up like a million years in a small amount of time. I’m also first born in my family so that comes with its own stress and you can only understand if you’ve ever been expected to help out here and there. I do think, though, that it teaches you responsibility and the ability to take care of your younger siblings.

So today I’ll be sharing with you what I’ve learnt during my first year of being an income earning young adult.

1.       You don’t earn enough money to buy everything you’ve ever wanted
I thought when I walk into a job I will finally be able to get those ‘expensive’ shoes that looked too expensive when I was still getting an allowance (soooo not from mom, lol). I don’t have half the stuff I thought would have by now. There’s just so many other things that need money that soon it’s December and you’re asking yourself where your life went!
2.       Be careful with new acquaintances
I have had so many instances where people use your work number to contact you at home. And men get so excited when a new lady enters their work space that they all try to get to know you at once. Best line to use is ‘I’m not allowed to interact with the client about anything other than work to maintain our independence’. Omw, that’s so genius! (And actually true in our line of work).
3.       Always make time to socialize
It can be frustrating to get to know new people in a new place. I don’t know how my new friends came to be but they mostly originated from friends of fellow trainees and also through church and once off events like ‘Colour Run’ that was sooo much fun!
4.       Create a list of things you’ve always wanted to do
This really helped me this year. Once it’s written down and prayed about it will come to pass and if not then something better will make an appearance. What is really important is to work towards it. There is nothing as exhausting as a person who keeps wanting something but doesn’t lift a finger to do anything about it.
5.       Do not live above your means
Living in debt is not cool. Because it tricks you into believing that you are spending your own money. If you always tap into your credit card – it simply means that you can’t afford your life.
6.       Always buy in bulk
I have this fear of running out of toothpaste. Specifically toothpaste. Don’t know why. Point of it is so that you have some spare cash that you can use on other things that you wouldn’t normally buy. But if you always buy small units of perishables you’ll have no flexibility in your budget.
7.       Vacations only happen when planned
I meant to go on holiday last year and it never happened because I did not plan properly in time. Going on a holiday on credit is a BIG NO! Enjoy Rewards, not INTEREST!
8.       Your weight will be different
I’ve been so many sizes in past year. I’ve finally gotten to the point where I can wear care free dresses and sometimes I can’t wear them because my hips are too massive. But that’s okay because it’s never permanent. Find a diet that’s healthy and works for you!
9.       See your family as much as possible
I think that independence means everything to me. So I haven’t been home as much as I could have been so now my Mom comes to me. She’s the only person I would visit at home so this solves that issue! But going home serves such an important purpose. It’s that breeze of fresh air that you just can’t buy.
10.   It’s okay to make mistakes
I think my mom raised me to be a perfectionist. It’s how I’ve always seen myself. But for some reason when I got to varsity I just realized that if you take the shame out of everything you can really live your life to the fullest. It’s okay not to have time, it’s okay to not see all your friends as often as you can. Sometimes we really lose ourselves in trying to get to everything. Sometimes just say NO!

Be Kind,

Wednesday, 17 August 2016

Evolving my Blog

Hi everyone!

I hope everyone is well! These days I’ve been thinking about starting a new blogging schedule because I’ve just posted when I had time or needed to let it out (y’all know the ones) and I recently got some extra time in my daily routine and suddenly I am having the worst writer’s block!!

But I did give me time to check in with other people’s blogs and videos and also gave me time to think about where I want to take this blog. I generally love fashion posts because those are my favourites to look/watch but unfortunately the do the worst in terms of views and buzz and that really breaks my heart. So if I could rate myself I would definitely say that I probably lack great photography skills and the right editing softwares (whichI am working on).

So when life got rough I usually felt comfortable settling into lifestyle blogging which made me really insecure because it really reveals my insecurities and I want people to feel inspired, renewed and motivated when they come to my blog. It did, however, help me grow as a person, as a girl and as an adulting woman. It definitely helped my blog grow too because people had a really good reaction to them and making people feel better about their situations is a legit real passion that I hope to turn into a career one day.

Then this year I got into beauty blogging and to be honest I really hope I doesn’t become a major part of my blog because I don’t have a real talent for it (same with DIYs) but people do amazing things with make-up and I just would not know where to start. In building a brand you have to look put together and seeing that I don’t have people who can do it for me I have to learn to do it by myself and that has also contributed to my growth as a blogger and a woman.

Overall I think that going forward you’ll be seeing a lot of evolving on my blog as I discover what I can do and what I like doing. The goal this year is definitely to grow my blog without any pressure or comparisons. The blogging world has grown so much and having a full time job plus overtime and studying part-time makes it so much harder to remain consistent and up to date with everything.

Another one of my goals is to grow my Youtube channel as me. The real me. When I watch my old videos I have this stay professional tone and that’s not me. I think that filming about things that are more me will help me stay authentic and therefore make me stay consistent because I’ll be seeing more of my personality. If you’re wondering why that hasn’t happened, I really have no answer to it. Maybe I’m a really good actress/perfectionist! But I will adjust that soon.

Another thing that makes blogging hard is how expensive it really is. The data and the softwares and all the new apps coming out makes it a bit hard. My job is basically like interning so you can imagine how much I earn and then there’s also adulting expenses that are affected by inflation and politics everyday. So it makes you get left behind in terms of getting professional help in terms of photography, editing and collaborations. For example – at this point I can not afford to use Final Cut Pro to edit because I’ll first need to get a Macbook. How much is a Macbook? Now turn that to Rand. Or using an Iphone to get the best photos in order to have the best Instagram feed. I don’t even check the prices for that!

Point is, right now blogging needs to stay just an outlet for me. Because there’s really a lot of pressure that we put on ourselves so the pressure from others is really not helping. So if you feel like you’re running out of breath and you’re spending so much on your blog without yielding the benefits – you’re not the only one. 

Take a deep breath and work a bit on your content while you live your life day by day. Remember to take breaks from social media and all the online trolls and get YOU back.

Be kind to yourself!

Thursday, 11 August 2016

7 ways to unblock your mind

Hi everyone!

Omw guys I can NOT FOCUS. I’m scatterbrain af right now! I wish I can take all my thoughts and just archive them. I’ve gone from anxiety to fear to strength to worry and just silence. I adjust to change really badly and I’m REALLY trying to take everything in. Two days ago it was a public holiday and I DID NOTHING and I feel awful about it and that’s just a potentially productive day that I will NEVER get back.

Today I’ve had enough. I need to do something to get out of this rut. Hopefully I can get super organised in order to get my blood flowing again. Sometimes you can get so inspired but your body just won’t move. That is how I’ve been feeling lately. Yesterday I ran into Just a girl and her blog and I just couldn’t sit back any longer. That girl has got her life sorted! It’s time for me to get up and do something about my life.

So to decrypt my mind in order to get active I’m going to start small because being too positive can sometimes be destructive and short-lived. So it’s all about small steps.

Let’s get started:
1.       Re-visit your 2016 goals.
I think the best way to see if you’ve been productive is to see how far you are in terms of your planned goals. Because you drew the up at the height of your excitement for the year. So either put them into action and/or re-adjust your goals based on where you are and what you have.
2.       De-clutter your room
I know I’m confused if I don’t want to make my bed on purpose. If everything is cool I can totally wake up earlier and make more effort with my room and have a healthy breakfast! So get some organisational tips and make sure that your room represents a clean mind! Maybe this is just me?
3.       Plan your meals
It’s so easy to just eat everything or eat as you get hungry. And then when you finally snap out of it, your favourite kind of jeans do not fit you anymore and your face is full of zits you can’t explain. It’s important to make sure that what you put in your body will be advantageous to your attitude and daily strength.
4.       Switch things up
You’ve had the same hairstyle all year and the year is half past over! Switch it up and try other things – hair, trends, accessories, bold lippies, platform heels, etc. You cannot be like 3 day old Coke just because your days have become routine. Do something about it!!
5.       Have better control of your money
Sometimes you don’t enjoy life because you’re always worried about money. You can’t just pay bills. Therefore adjust your budget so that you can be a regular young person who can make your own decisions. Sometimes you feel stuck because you can’t afford the things you want.
6.       Be showered with encouraging words
Last night I was so inspired by our weekly homecells (will explain in another post), which is basically a midweek session of encouragement and sharing testimonies with people of my age group and I just realized that I need to snap out of it and talk positively and just fill myself through my words with courage. In other words – to FAITH UP.
7.       Execution
Plans are nothing without carrying them through. People want to be successful overnight and lately I’ve learning to be patient in the valley. Groundwork determines the amount of success you have because the strongest tree is nothing without its deepest roots. So now the hard work starts that will pay off in its own time.

Guys! 2016 is still rolling! There’s so much work to be done and so little time. Do not waste time with things that are temporary and will only disadvantage you! Build memories and legacies!

Get to work!!

Monday, 1 August 2016

How to find the source of anger/sadness

Hi everyone!

A bit to the off the cliff side today and it always helps to just talk it out sometimes. As addressed previously I have a sort of strained relationship with my brother. We have to have been adopted because I just don’t see how our genes came together because there’s just always friction between us. So along with a crapload of changes that I’ve just gone through (will tell you guys about that shortly), I’ve also decided to move in with my brother and sister.

If you know us and our history you’ll also know that this is probably the worst idea in the world but we can’t go on like this forever. So when my mom called earlier she said that if living together causes any of you distress then we should just call it a day and scatter again instead of killing each other. So in this process I have to ‘let go’ of a few things in order for this to work which is also the trigger of all my anger/frustrations.

So to rehabilitate this I’ve decided to find the sore spots and build a wall around them. You can also do this with partners when you move in together. The point of the exercise is so that you’re able to deal with things you can’t change because chances are this will always happen or will improve only around the fifth time you bring it up.

1.       Alcohol and other drugs.
In my opinion, there is literally nothing on this earth that I find as pointless as being a regular drunk. Nothing. It absolutely has no point and it’s even worse when you have no vision and you work for a monthly salary in a position that has no prospects. That job can be taken away from you at any time through retrenchments or any criminal charges (like DUIs or public intoxication). So if you work to drink then what's the point of life? There's no next level and I feel like you're just waiting around for something to happen to you. So seeing that I'm a planner and goal setter I find it next level frustrating to deal with a person who is drunk on a weekly basis and has no 5 year plan. OMW!!
-          Remedy: Let it go and do not mix it with you daily life. Let them have their own key and never say anything about it. If you rely on them and they don’t show up because they are sleeping it off then it’s time to learn how to drive(in my case) so that you can be your own person. When they are ready to quit, they will. Otherwise just go upwards and onwards. My biggest downfall that led to anger was that I cared more about his future more than he did. I cared more about the damage that he was causing to himself and all the broken relationships that came with it. If a substance hurts your family and you choose to continue with it that automatically means you choose it over your family. And they will eventually choose themselves over you too.

2.       If they are always defensive.
Omw, there is nothing that I hate more than a blanket apology because when they get used to throwing it around, it will never stop. If they are always defensive it can also mean that they don’t see what they did wrong. They will defend/justify what they did with their last breath. Some people only apologize so that you can let them in again. And when everything is quiet and just when they are at the center of your heart again, they strike. Like a vicious snake and leave you to bleed out. I've gone through this so many times and trust me it will never stop until you stop listening to the justifications and the reasons. At the end if they love you and they know what they are doing is wrong and they still do it, only to put in all their effort defending it then you are just a clock on the wall. Just ticking away till the next time they do that again.
-          Remedy: If you manage to remain calm, just occupy yourself with something productive like dishes or calling a friend about something silly to sort of get the edge off. When everything is calm again then talk about where it all went wrong and where there are areas of improvement. If that doesn’t work then depending if you can live with that or not you move on and build around it/learn to ignore. If it's a dealbreaker and they can't seem to fix it, then it's time to call it a day and move on.

3.       Dependence
One thing about troubled siblings or partners is that they always need something from you. Maybe they always want money or they always drive your car or something similar. Like clockwork, especially if you can’t say no. But then it angers you to think they can’t do something of a minimal effort for you but they always expect something significant from you. You should never feel like you're the one making the most effort. No relationship can exist if it's only one-sided because then it's destined for failure for sure! Before the most important person in your life can be the one you care about, it first has to be you. Because you can't be there for others, if you yourself are not there. So if YOU feel like you're always the one giving, it's time to speak up and let them know that it's time to pick up their socks!!
-          Remedy: Step 1 is to say no. If that’s not possible then always ask for something they owe you in order for them to get what they want because chances are that they will not be able to give it back. It’s a bit difficult to apply but will help your emotional state. Step 3 is to let the person know that it's time for them to put in a little effort. Sometimes guys can get so comfortable and take you for granted so in order to fix that you'll need to let them know that they need to treat you right or fairly(in case of brothers).

It’s quite sad when people that obviously care about each other go through a rough patch but it’s so important to not be a boiling pot because it makes you feel insane and nothing is solved at the end.

So in finding the sore spots I hope you can find the time to resolve it in a more peaceful way so that everybody can learn from each other!

Restore Peace,

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