10 tips to get ready for summer!!

Hi everyone!!

It seems like you guys liked the 10 tips to get ready for spring so I decided to write another one for summer! I don’t know what you guys will be doing but I think that we always experience scorching hot Decembers all over the country! So before the sun sets, let’s get started!!

1.       I’ve been talking about reaching year end goals since the second semester started, so I’d suggest that if you haven’t done something cool, we should think about something right now. The only thing to remember about 2015 can’t be Japan beating the Boks (rugby) or #feesmustfall or Adele’s Hello. Plan a last minute trip or invite a few friends to go hiking and make some memories!!

2.       If you’re not bikini bod ready, it’s not a train smash. You could either (a) not wear a bikini and do something more outdoors or (b) decide that everyone should fly sideways and wear your bikini anyway!! Life’s too short to care what people think. Especially if you’ve had a rough year.

3.       Let go. If you’ve had a rough year it’s really a huge load to carry going into Christmas with a heavy heart. If you can, find a way to let go so that you can carry on. If you need some time on your own, take some time off and disconnect in a healthy way.

4.       Family Time. Spend some time with loved ones. There’s something really therapeutic about that. And if you’re in a cool family like mine it will feel great to hear about the progress that your family has made during the year.

5.       Reflect. With some painful memories behind you, you might not want to do that. But if 2015 was a good year for you then this would be the perfect time to tick off some things that you’ve achieved in the year.

6.       Love. If you’ve been in a committed, long-term relationship, this is the time to capitalize on holidays and finally spending some time together. And also the best time for the perfect gifts. And some reassurances and making new memories. If you’re not in a relationship then this is the perfect time to let your guard down and mingle!

7.       Fashion. Summer is all about skin. The dresses, the shorts, sunscreen lotion and flip-flops and rad sunnies. Even if you’re not going to be dipping in the ocean, you just have to know the dress code! Don’t walk around in sweats and slippers! Dressing up can do wonders for your mood and worries!

8.       Planning New Year’s Eve. Isn’t amazing how many weird stories you hear of what people do on New Year’s Eve? LOL! You can’t be spending it at home! Find out what your friends are doing and join in on the fun and weird stories!! Or better yet – put together your own party!

9.       If you’ve been unhappy the whole year, and it’s your fault, really…it’s time to wake up and make changes. Personally, I’m not really a fan of New Year’s Resolutions but for the sake of argument – let’s call it that word. They fall apart so easily but the realisation that the year has gone to waste and it’s already December….that has GOT to be a wakeup call to anybody!!

10.   Bid Farewell. Also similar to the thing mentioned up here but not at the same time. Say goodbye to all bad habits (realistically). There’s no point in dragging things that you know are not good for you around all year. This includes people. People who don’t appreciate you or try to match the effort you put in for them in their own way.

 Life is a gift! To live I in regret or misery is a tragedy. Make changes today!!

Love,

#WomensMonth Tribute

Hi everyone!!

As you know on 9 August it was Women’s Day and I almost wanted to cry thinking that I should have dedicated this post to all the women in my life!!

But I’ve realized that if you keep a positive attitude then there’s no space for crying over spilled milk. So, just like we like to make February Valentine’s Day MONTH I’ve decided to jump in the bandwagon of my fellow South Africans who are currently celebrating Womens Day MONTH!!

I hope in reading this (whether you’re South African or not) that you’ll also make one woman in your life feel special by dedicating an open letter to them.

Confidence to start a Youtube Channel.

Hi everyone!

This topic was inspired by Stacey and Sophie!!

I have a beginner sort of youtube channel with no set schedules or any video that’s gone past 250 views or went viral. And that’s a good thing because it’s giving me time to ease into it until I’m set to deliver quality videos that have a lot of followers.

How to End the year like a LEGEND!

Hi Everyone!!

At this point in the year we’re all getting exhausted. We just can’t wait for the summer time even though we’ve only gone through winter for a short time. Everyone is letting go of all the essentials: the hair (solution: winter hats and beanies), the waxing (seriously? You’re in stockings all day and leg warmers at night and long sleeve tops), the exercising (it’s too cold and you’d rather remain in bed) and the New Year’s Resolutions (gurl, that was 6 months ago okaaaaaaaay??)

So a couple of thoughts come up.

1.       How will you spend the rest of the year?

2.       Re-evaluate your goals/adjust /create new ones?

3.       Make life altering changes?

If you’ve gotten comfy with your surroundings and you haven’t done something exciting all year you obviously need to shake things up. It must be awful to drag yourself all year. You have no memories of anything and you can’t remember when you did what because you’re passing through your own life!

-Make a list of things you want to do! Things you like but haven’t done and atleast attempt to do one thing!

-Surround yourself with people with similar interests. Challenge each other in becoming better version of yourselves. Don’t compete. There’s nothing that tears girls apart faster than that (except boys, LOL)

-If the goals you made at the beginning of the year are unrealistic, don’t scrap them – just re-adjust. Make them more flexible and make them work for you. There’s nothing worse than being strangled by a schedule that you created.

-My life altering change would be to change careers but I’m not financially ready for it. Even taking a leap needs planning. You don’t want to hate yourself for pursuing a dream. Your dream will die and then you won’t have anything to live for and that is worse than a tragedy.

-Be ready for anything. Never limit yourself in a little box. I did that for years and finally when I realized how round the earth was, I started opening myself up to new possibilities. In order to go to New York I had to go through a panel interview. Guys, a one on one interview used to render me mute!  And then I had to go through five accomplished adults. One man came out of the interview and told the next candidate what an amazing young woman I was and if you ask me today what the questions were – I wouldn’t even be able to tell you because I was so scared. And then a couple of months later I took my first flight to the Big Apple. Risks=Rewards.

-Shy doesn’t mean unable. When I was younger I used to think that no-one wants to hear me speak. I think I didn’t want to hear myself speak. I just thought that seeing that I wasn’t outspoken, my opinion didn’t matter. And that’s how most things passed me by. Looking back, that’s the worst thing that I had to go through in highschool but finding myself step by step was also good for me!

All the above mentioned options are all open and are without restriction. Shake off the last 6 months and look forward to shaking things up in the second part of the year!

Live loud. And Live Free!

Till next time!!

xx

What are our 20s for?

Hi everyone!

What are our twenties for?

In the past couple of months I’ve been thinking a lot about this. There’s so much pressure for us to accomplish such a lot of things in our 20s. Ever since I turned twenty I’ve gotten 2 degrees, failed one major year course that made me miserable and also made me realized that I might be in the wrong career path, gotten my first job, first salary, first flat and I now pay taxes. I've taken on lifestyle blogging which has allowed me to be more myself, grossly neglected my channel because I either don’t have time or became really sloppy in planning for my channel and I haven’t gotten my hair done since February and I’ve picked up really bad eating habits... (a bit tmi there) 

That’s quite a lot of stuff but having written them down, I feel so much better already because releasing it this way is extremely therapeutic for me. Every time I feel like I (or mom) have placed a lot of pressure on myself, Phil (yes, from Modern Family) once told Hailey that your twenties are there for you to find/discover yourself. And I also remember that God did not place me on Earth to be miserable. I might not have found something that I’m passionate about that when I wake up I want to start doing it or I would sacrifice sleep for it every day but I know it’s out there somewhere!

Passion is not something that can be taught. That’s one of the most valuable lessons I have learnt recently. And it’s important not to force it or let comparisons with your peers make you feel like you’re falling behind in life. I’ve always found it important to be ahead in life on everything. Up until I realized that I was in the middle of something I wasn’t passionate about. I had the skill to understand it because I was highly competitive and organized and it’s so funny how those qualities faded away when I realized that I was doing something that made getting out of bed every morning a nightmare.

So I now I have a couple of options. And that’s the beauty of my journey. The power to decide on my own.

   -  Leave what’s familiar behind and leap into the world of the unknown. A perfect example of someone who’s done that in the blog world is Antoinette Pepe . And what she did terrifies me but it also gives me new hope. Being in pursuit of a dream is so exhilarating and so worth-while and that’s what’s been missing from my life.

  -  Continue with what I’m doing and live under a cloud up until I’m some sort of an executive and probably making millions in what feels like the worst job on earth. The positive side is that  I’ll never be unemployed and I can work wherever I want in the world after 3 years(or maybe more) of torturous bar exams and 8-5 workdays.

  - Or start a new degree! This time hopefully in something that I’ll enjoy like languages/TV/production - basically anything creative that will hopefully involve clothes and is overall visually stimulating! I’m hopelessly too shy to be in front of the TV(working on it).

 Whichever way I go, happiness needs to be at the forefront. Being in my current job I’ve come to realize that one month is 30 days. Each day is really 24 hours and living those hours not in pursuit of a dream or being wrapped up in something passionate is really such a tragedy.

I hope my journey will inspire someone. Especially my fellow low risk takers. We never want to ruffle any feathers or disturb the peace. Until one day we wake up with a husband who’s the same as you and kids you don’t understand.

Live the life you’ll one day be proud of!

(image: Leef Tydskrif/Magazine)

I thought the quote here was so fitting. In (my own)translation it says : " The more the soul receives in silence, the more it gives in actions"

#alwayspursuehappiness

How to take a man search break

Hi everyone!!

As part of resolutions and scary birthdays where you realize that you’re not getting any younger we (girls) tend to take drastic measures to correct all the years of being single! Admit it!

Lol, but I think after a couple of months of exploring in #theyearoffindingbae we realize that it’s not easy to put your heart out there. The vulnerability. The danger. The compromises. The withdrawl.

I think that when you start changing  like letting your emotions run wild fuelled with jealousy and rage because of the hurt you feel when some of these flirtations/brief relationships don’t work out -then you must know that it’s time to take a break.

These tips will help:

1.       Cut out those people that were too toxic to be around. That made you doubt yourself or diminished your values and questioned things that were the foundation of your existence. They’ll just continue to do that until there’s nothing left. Typically when he abandons you (eventually) - you won’t know what a healthy relationship feels like.

How to do that?

·         Delete their number from your phone

·         Block any incoming calls from them

·         Have NO communication with them.

·         Don’t ‘accidently’ bump into them. Shop elsewhere.

2.       Hang around other single positive people. Not people who talk about their ex all the time. Or someone who’s prone to one night stands or any other random sexual encounters because they’ll probably want to tell you about them. Be with other girls who are about to start a new project or are being promoted or people who travel just so that you can talk about anything other that longing for someone.

3.       Decide to put your journey on hold. I feel like finding someone shouldn’t be a goal. It’s like people trying to get pregnant. I feel like if you force it – that’s when it won’t happen for you. The most amazing love story I’ve ever heard was of Michelle Phan and Dom. She was just having a cup of coffee in Paris as part of exploring the city and when Dom saw her, he knew. I mean who knew he was even going to be there? And he’s been her biggest love ever since.

4.       Continue being confident! Wear heels. Don’t leave the house without make-up. Always add to your Victoria’s Secret collection! Just because you’re not looking for him doesn’t mean that he shouldn’t look for you! Be radiant ALL the time! Beauty really starts from within and you should continue taking it to higher levels. 

      There’s no bigger compliment than: ‘SHE’S BEAUTIFUL…INSIDE AND OUT’!!

Live your life!!

How to Disconnect

Hi everyone!

Last year was a pretty awful year and so many things just went wrong. I was exhausted - mentally, physically and just so emotionally drained. If you really want to be happy be sure that you know what you want to become before you run off to college because it’s really in those last moments when you’ll have to decide if something is really worth it. Learnt that the hard way.

So I’m going to take you through the journey I went through when my world came crashing down. To be clear - this ended up being the best thing that has happened to me. When you’re a level 2 control freak like me, your world no longer makes sense when you’re not in control.
So this is what I went through to completely let go:

Go home.

Delete your Facebook account. Don’t just avoid it. Delete it and never go back till you’re ready. All you’re missing is just people having a good time and that will make you feel worse about what you’re going through.

Log out of Twitter. If you want to follow recent fashion trends or follow people who do positive things like pastors and motivational speakers – then open up another twitter account and only follow them. When you’re better you can always delete it and go back to the one you had.

Delete Whatsapp. If you have caring friends then they’ll obviously worry about you. You know you’re not okay so imagine them asking you if you’re okay everyday? It will drive you insane!! Cut off all communication.

Tell your friends in advance. If you’re going on a journey of total isolation, it
doesn’t mean that people will stop looking for you. So tell your friends that you need some time. It’s important to assure them that you will let them know when you’re available again. I took 3 months for me to be alone and having friends who understood that made it a do-able journey.

Tell your family to leave you alone. If you have a mom like mine, something like that is not easy and was an ongoing struggle for me. She just didn’t understand what I was going through. She wanted me to have ‘a plan’ and for the first time I wanted to let go of all my plans and she wouldn’t let me. It will always end up in an argument, then I’ll cry and she’ll let me have a day or 2 and then start pecking at me again. Up until one day my cousins spoke to her and she gave me some breathing room. If your family doesn’t listen to you get someone who they will listen to, to speak to them.

Make a decision about atleast one thing. When at cross roads you definitely know that one of those roads are definitely not worth travelling. You’re not sure about it but you definitely know it won’t bring you happiness. Sometimes your family will force you to go on it because they think it’s what is best for you and because the one you want has no promises. It is here where you need to take a stand a make a decision that you know will benefit you in the long run.
Prayer. Obviously we are all different. But through my journey all I could do was pray. Pray that I didn’t make the wrong decision and also that something will happen that will show me where to go. Since then I’ve been so blessed and showered with favour. And that’s another thing about things just happening…it’s hard. It comes with other factors that will test how much you want this new thing that’s just been handed to you. Perseverance is key.
I feel like I can talk all day about this topic because it has really shaped my life to where it is now. I feel different and I can say that I’m happy about letting go. It’s truly liberating!
Talk soon
Jabi

How to BUILD Confidence from the ground up!

Hi everyone!!

When I look up the word confidence I just found long sentences trying to explain it but loved what was said about ‘self-confidence’ just a bit more.

“when one does not dwell on negative consequences one can be more ‘self-confident’ because one is worrying far less about failure/disapproval of others following potential failure. One is then more likely to focus on the actual situation which means that the enjoyment and success in that situation is also more probable.”

I mean... doesn’t that just speak to you? Confidence is really something you build inside. Later on people will be able to see it on the outside. And it does not happen overnight – practice makes perfect!!

So throughout my life I was known as that critically shy girl. It was just written all over me. You could see it in the way I walk, talk, dress and I guess in the way I carried myself.

Until I got to university and developed a love for fashion and all things pretty. And part of the reason was probably because I could now buy it myself. Before, my mother tried to make me a tomboy and she bought my clothes that made me feel so ugly and buried.

Getting new clothes also meant looking more confident because I can’t have hunched shoulders in a beautiful bodycon dress. Unless you really want to destroy it. Had to walk up straight and pretend to be a pro in heels (not pretending meant letting everyone see that you do the funky chicken).

So here are some quick tips to help you look confident:

STAND UP STRAIGHT! Obviously this is like step one of life. People just respond better to what you say if you look like you care about yourself and you know what you’re talking about.
KNOW YOUR BODY! Don’t wear things that don’t fit you. People judge you based on that sometimes even if they don’t say it. Their minds make that decision for them.

BE APPROACHABLE. This is still an ongoing struggle for me. Doesn’t matter how friendly I try to be, people still feel afraid to get to know me. But once they do, they don’t understand where I’ve been all their lives!!(lol)

IT’S OKAY TO BE DIFFERENT. You don’t have to like stuff that other people like. Part of being confident (like above) is to enjoy what you like. Be who you like to be and not what a box that people might place you in.

DON’T CARE about things that don’t add value to your life. This took me a long, long time to master. I used to lie awake at night thinking about something someone said and 3 days later it would still bother me while that person lives on. That is precious time that I will never get back.

MAKE-UP! It is such an effective tool in trying to look strong, confident and sane. One day I was probably having the worst day and a friend of mine was like ‘Wow, you sure look good for someone who’s going through something like that’ and I was like YAASSSSS!

A POSITIVE ATTITUDE! It’s so infectious. And a powerful tool of not accepting defeat.

DO YOU FEEL HALFWAY THERE ALREADY?

Obviously you don't have to do all these things at once! Take it one day at a time! Sooner or later people will start to notice it!

Lots of Love

Jbi!

How to end a BAD friendship

Hi everyone!!

From the title I guess it sounds pretty harsh right?

It’s actually more real than anything else. I recently read an article in Seventeen Magazine about a girl who was raped by her boyfriend. If that wasn’t enough to creep me out I just can’t forget her saying that when she brought up it up with her friends they just didn’t LISTEN to her. This obviously worst case of bad friends so I’m just blessed I guess – to have all my friends in my life who would have really listened to me.

So today’s kind of bad friend is really someone who you really burdens you.

These things have happened/ currently happening:

·        You show up for their accomplishments and they never celebrate yours with you.

·         You are always calling them and they don’t bother to check in with you with any of the IM platforms   available

·        You always ask about things happening in their life and they never go..’and you?’

·        When they need alone time they don’t notify you and then blame you for not checking on them

·         They always judge/criticize you when all you really needed was someone to talk to

·         They make you feel negative about life whether it’s them always complaining about life/you feeling depressed

These are basically all the things that indicate ‘bad friend’ to me. I know that some people have it worse but maybe it’s because I don’t have time to invest quality time into a friendship that won’t have a positive influence on me. I always strive to be the best friend that I can be so in return all I basically need is for someone to do that for me.

If you have a bad friend like that sooner or later they won’t show up to something that is at the top of your list of important things that you would have sacrificed your own personal plans to be there for them.

It’s really the little things for me that speaks volumes.

Obviously we can’t be where we want be at the same time but a friend always knows how to celebrate you from miles away and how you feel about certain things and what it means for your friendship to spend quality time together.

Friendships that are a burden for you will poison you whether it’s happening now or not. You can have a million facebook friends but at the end of the day only your best friends will worry about you/check up on you and call you on your birthday. Those are the ones worth keeping. And those are the friends we all appreciate.

Have you ever walked away from a friend? What was your dealbreaker?

With love

Jabi

Introvert girls’ guide to appreciating a good guy

Hi everyone!!

Today’s post is basically my opinion on how to choose the one who chooses your heart.

I think some of my best friends are so close to my heart because we share the same values. So through the years we’ve just had our own life experiences and now we are here. Where we definitely know what we don’t want. And it’s truly amazing to get here in one piece.

So this is an open letter to my friend…and to all girls who can identify with it.

I know almost nothing about love. So this is a bit out of my element. Never really been
in love either so I don’t know what it’s like to jump off a roof like that hoping that he will catch you. I guess I’ve just never put so much trust in anyone. Never mind a guy. I just don’t have the courage to do that yet. So this is just some background.

But through all the years in high school and 5 years of university I’ve learnt some valuable lessons through the eyes of my friends’ life experiences.

Today I think I’ll look through the eyes of my one best friend.

Love comes in all shapes and personalities. People just express themselves differently. My mom always says that as girls there are certain things that we just can’t live without. Or go the whole day without hearing. And we’re all different in this regard. We want to hear that we are loved and we want people to tell us things that they’ve noticed that make us unique. Like how they see that you’re stressed/upset/worried without us knowing that we were reacting that way. Or hear them say something you thought went in the one ear and the out the other. Or when they surprise you without a reason or randomly pick you up for coffee/ a random walk.

Having grown up conservatively and I guess under difficult financial pressure we’re just obsessed with finding someone who can take care of us. We can take care of ourselves, ofcourse, that’s why we worked extra hard in school to make something of ourselves. So I guess on the way we just want to stop carrying the world on our shoulders and just kick back our heels and briefcases and have a glass of wine brought to us now and again. Is that really too much to ask? Lol!

I just think that now we need be free. We know what we want so instead of looking for it we should be careful not to let it pass by in pursuit of something perfect. Love is not something we find, it’s really something we create. Just like the SELF. And I’ve truly learnt that the hard way. And it was through the journey of trying to find myself that I came to the realization that I need to re-create.

Same with love. Walk away if it doesn’t bring you what you need (which is like the hardest part) in order to sustain happiness. Life is still happening. And I’d just prefer going through it with my best friend who’s also looking for happiness.  And has lots of it to give.

Share your experiences with me!!

Comment with your links below – I would love to read your story!

Xx

Jabi

What you can expect in 2015

Hi everyone!!

So I’ve been doing a lot of blogging research lately and I’ve decided that I want to put in a little more effort into my blog. I definitely know that I want it to be sustainable one day and I’m willing to put in that time and effort to make it unique!

What I’ve realized is that I definitely want it to reflect who and what I am. So far I’ve focused on style and fashion and had no idea that I loved dressing up and collecting shoes. Before I was just satisfied with sneakers, flip-flops and something for church, but I have since then significantly increased my shoe collection!

I also used my blog as a creative outlet from a suffocating career and to be honest I would just upload pictures because I took pictures of my outfit that day to send to my mom! But looking back I’m happy that I atleast started it (my blog) because I don’t know where I would be right now without it. This year I’m determined to make it more than a hobby and I’m so eager to get started!! I hope you are too!!

So this is what you can expect from me in 2015:

Blog

I’m launching #GetYourLifeSundays which will be motivational posts. It’s going to be about my life (for now) e.g what I’ve learnt and the challenges I’ve overcome! I think here I’ll be free to be myself more. I think you’ll also get to know me more this way.

Expect 2 style posts (Mondays and Thursdays) and 1 #GetYourLifeSunday post each week.

I will try to increase the quality of my photos this year. I’m saving up for a quality camera and I can’t wait for you to see amazing photography on my blog!
I’m changing my blog name. (it’s a suprise!)
From now (after my blog name change) I will be blogging under my real name (I will explain in a blogpost)
I will have monthly favourites here and on my channel.

Channel

I have filmed and edited 3 videos that I cannot upload so consistent uploading will depend on my internet access situation when I get my own place.
In a perfect world (which I will be in soon) I’d be able to upload 1 video a week.
The editing quality will be better once I have proper editing software and a good set-up!
My videos will consist of lookbooks, hauls, monthly favourites, tags and travel diaries and others that I can think of!
Exciting times ahead!!
Till next time!!