Changing your reality

Hi everyone!

September is basically birthday month for ALL my friends. Seeing that we’re so far away from each other this year I decided to dig up some old videos and photos from varsity and share it on our Whatsapp group. LOL! They freaked out so much. And we just laughed because we really did have good times.

It also made me realize how much time has gone by. Next week is our 8^th annual family reunion and this is my 3^rd year in the working world. I feel like going into an emotional fit because exactly 3 years ago I told my family that Auditing & Accounting is not a good career for me. I remember them being really tense about it. It wasn’t an easy decision for me to make because I had just finished up my 5^th year at university that time but I remember being so relieved that I came to that conclusion.

You guys know the story but fast forward to 3 years later, I’ve never felt this depressed in my life. My blog became a place where I shared all the frustrations and a quick fix guide to ‘getting it together’. To be quite honest that really helped me because I would be completely depressed if I didn’t have an outlet for all the negativity. I also feel like I’ve had the most breakdowns than I’ve ever had in my life. Surviving them, only to be brought back into the same situation is the worst thing to ever happen to me.

A few days ago my friend called me in the morning and asked me what I was up to and if I’m alright. At this point in my life – I truly hate that question. The answer is no and please don’t ask me why because the answer is the same. It also brought up the topic of good days and bad days. I’m never okay but I have a job and bills therefore I can’t lie in bed and not get out. When I tried doing that legally, I got a written warning because we’re short staffed and we have a lot of work. So then I don’t have a choice. It’s either I quit or continue to do a job I despise.

Right now all the stress eating and a lack of self-care is showing. I feel so heavy and tired all the time. I never wear make-up to work because I always need to ‘make it’ through the day rather than have a normal work day. I spend my weekend indoors because I’m avoiding to much contact because people who want to catch up have actual stories while I’m still unhappy about my life. These days I’m unhappy with myself.  I’m ruining me. I no longer invest in myself.

Days can go by without me actually knowing what’s happening. I always have deadline upon deadline and the job is getting harder and harder. Worst part is that I need to be fully awake. There are so many changes in my career and I always need to know how it affects my client. And I really couldn’t care less. This makes my contribution worthless. It also makes me the weakest link because the public relies on the work I do and the fact that I never thought about it in that till now absolutely scares and depresses me even more.

Here’s the point (because I can’t stop talking about this): No matter how positive you try to be, you can’t cover unhappiness. You can push a boulder up the mountain but it will only get there if the motive is beneficial for you/result will work in your favour. If not, then the boulder will, if not immediately, eventually crush you. And that’s my life. Mornings are the hardest. I have a second when I have to ponder if my job is worth it. I have to think about all the wrong decisions taken that lead me to this point. And I wouldn’t wish that even on the worst person on this earth.

It’s why it’s important to always revisit the questions: What is my purpose on this Earth? What am I doing? And who am I doing it for? Walking away might not be in the cards but it’s always so important to use all your available time to keep telling yourself that you have purpose and that you are deserving of a way out and that you will not always be drowning in your own sorrow.

Change your free time. Make sure that you don’t spend it crying about what you hate doing!! See if that works!!

xx

Passing Feelings

Hi everyone!

The past two days have definitely been trying times days.  I’m mentally, physically and spiritually exhausted. I try to put myself back together in some hours but it’s short-lived because I’m carrying so much and limited in so many areas.  It really takes a lot for me to try and not notice what’s going on but it kills me to do that as I’ve always thought of myself as a person that really lives and not just exists.

So on what happened. Yesterday two of my new colleagues told me that I speak in a disrespectful manner to the Director. Naturally, I tried to explain to them that I’ve been talking that casual to him ever since I started there and he’s never told me that I was out of line (well, except one time when I was upset that the client we were assisting were awful to us and he basically said that I needed to take that back and just eat it up). Their way of speaking to him is basically to avoid all humor and nod and smile. I don’t do that with anyone. I would not even know how to do that!

So I called my friend and because she knows me she understood where I was coming from and basically told me not to change to fit into someone’s definition of being respectful. My mom said the same thing. Mom also asked me to ask them to demonstrate what that 'respectful behavior' would look like. Lol! I also spoke to this other friend who was going through a hard time trying to find another job. Ended up spending the entire night motivating her to keep trying, so by the time I slept I felt better about what happened.

Then literally the next day I’m faced with other office drama that basically crippled my day after my lunch order wasn’t processed, after I spent a whole hour waiting for it. It even got to a point where I felt like I needed to resign. I have no idea why I’m so emotionally sensitive and it just feels like hard work to make each day work. The past weekend could also be playing a role as I tried to do a lot of things over two days and I could just be exhausted.

Point is that I’m writing this post after realizing how emotionally drained we can become of something that momentarily affects you. I never thought I could get over a bad mark in high school or an embarrassing event at university and right now it feels like what happened today will affect the rest of my life. But in a few months (or even tomorrow) it will be nothing more than something that happened that has nothing to do with me as a person.

I used to get severe heartburn when something like this would happen. I wouldn’t be able to function on anything else and I would spend hours replaying it. It’s currently happening now and I want more than anything to be in control of my mind and just make it stop. And sometimes it takes you saying: ‘I will not let this consume me’ and actually going as far as doing something productive in the time you would have wasted going around in circles about it.

I actually (and finally) downloaded my study material in order to get started with my assignments due on Monday and when that went slowly I decided to write this post and I’m going to try and study again after completing it. Not because I’m strong or persistent, but because I need to keep growing and keep evolving and I need to keep in mind that life is long. What would I look like if I became consumed with other people’s view of me all the time or how they feel about me.  If you live the best life possible, without having to step on someone else to achieve that, there’s nothing stopping you from being you!

Never waste time!

Love you!

Hello June

Hi everyone!

It’s been a minute! As we speak I’m sitting in front of a heater trying to keep warm. Nelspruit has NEVER been this cold. Last year I got a fan heater and barely used it. This year has been pretty interesting. I haven’t even gotten used to say that I’m 25 because I barely got time to celebrate it but things are definitely looking up, finally!

I always feel like I have to careful about what I share online now but like I’ve said before – my channel and blog is all about being open because I tend to be closed off and I started my blog because I didn’t want to be that way anymore. You guys know that every year is hard for me and I’ve always sort of had a meltdown about it. This year, however, it has gone quite a bit weird.

I bought a car last year and having it was quite hard. I was super scared of driving so if I could walk rather than drive, I would walk. And I never went to work with it because it would force me to drive my colleagues around and the reimbursements for that were never guaranteed. And before long I was forced to sell it in order to get my financials back on track.

So in December I had to kick out my brother because he was never reliable and he always put his friends before his family. And when the time came for them to do the same they kicked out like day old turkey which was a good opportunity for a lesson learned for him. So then no matter how much I advertised I did not get someone to fill his room by January so the whole month’s rent was on me which was really devastating.

Then I tried to survive from that and got someone in February but finances still kicked my butt because my family lived with me for 5 months and in that time I maxed out my credit card. A definite bad call and also filed under Lesson Learned. So then I finally sold my car but had a 20k shortfall on it which was the best deal I could get at the time. That hard time also taught me a lot about cars. Now by this time I’d been trying to sell it since February. It finally happened in April and I had to survive the rest of the month with the installment of the car already subtracted from my account.

Then at the end of that month I had to go to my cousin’s wedding that I only found out about in March that I couldn’t miss. Fortunately my mom was able to secure some cash on credit so that she can save me on the car and that also allowed me to go to the wedding. Then I was able to pay her since then sort of half of what my car’s shortfall was worth seeing that my contract ends in January (So I can only afford to make payments till January). So that’s what I’ve been doing since end of April.

During this time I’ve had additional issues. I haven’t been going to church, both my phones stopped working and I’ve become a total pessimist. My channel has been on a standstill and I was just not able to talk about it because I was trying not to be a mess in order to function properly at work and to appear normal which is of great personal growth to me. I normally crack at the first sign of a problem. And only fix it months later. I also had assignments and exams during this time and had great marks but I haven’t had money to pay tuition in order to see if I’ve passed or not but that will also get solved in the time when it does.

My biggest lesson in all of this is definitely to calm the f down. I’m always like a champagne bottle when it’s opened. I always run over. But now I’ve had to be okay with things I can’t change. For example – I’ve always wanted to learn how to highlight and contour. But without the proper funds and ‘good debt’ I’ve had to put it on hold for a year now. I’ve learned how to do my own hair and be okay with not shopping for clothes. My bedroom has looked the same for the past 2 years and I’ve had to be okay with that too. If you know how much I like décor you’d know how much of a slow burn that is for me. So basically I’ve just had to be okay with basics. I haven’t done that since the first few months of varsity in 2010!!

IT’S OKAY.

That’s become my 2 most spoken words. They save my life every day.

They can do the same for you!

One day at a time,

Love

How to ease up your guilty conscious

Hi everyone!

I have a little bit of a writer’s block because I have an insane amount of stress (& heartburn) at the moment which is really good for lifestyle posts because then I have an urgent need to talk about it. I have no idea how I’m going to spend my time this weekend because I also have to go home (3 hours away) because I’ve been summoned to take measurements for my cousin’s upcoming wedding at the end of April. Solution would be to send the measurements right? Try telling my mom that.

So with all the political madness going on it has become even more important to build your own world because you can’t let the national negativity get you down. Neither should you allow  the international depression (Trump is still there. What is happening in Syria?)to trump your spirits. It’s very hard for us (let’s say educated black people) to move back home to minimize fixed costs and to try different jobs seeing that there’s already such a huge unemployment rate in our city and overall country. So sometimes you are stuck in your job.

This year I was supposed to add an academic element in my last year of articles but in order to set myself free I did not register for it and I did not notify my boss. You can imagine what a huge violation that is. I did not resign because I can’t move back home and start over. Thank you, Black Tax. And it was difficult to even get a job I’m over-qualified for. I still don’t know how that’s possible. So I effectively decided to just finish the year and add my completed articles to my CV. Sometimes I want to put it there as ‘3 years of intense slavery’.

So for the first month or so I was riddled with guilt because I have long asked him to be transparent because he’s always late and tells you about a meeting with a client 10 minutes before and expects you to know everything about it by the time you reach their offices. Even after that has been addressed with him, it seemed like he sees lateness and non-transparency as a lux lifestyle so I’ve decided to accept it that about him. Guess where I got my training from? I guess Daddy trained me well.

So how can you stop feeling guilt over something you did but did it for the right reason?

1.       Ask yourself if you could have done it any other way

2.       Ask yourself if this option lets you sleep better at night

3.       Ask yourself if you’re willing to deal with the consequences

4.       Ask yourself if this decision, other than the guilt, makes you happy

5.       Ask yourself if it will bring out new change

Last year I was severely depressed. I used to take sick days multiple times of the year because I did not have the strength to get up to go to work. It’s when I first discovered that your job can actually make you sick. So how did I apply the above?

I could have told my boss but he would have convinced me to register, backed up by legislation requirements (aka legislation threats). He would have also made work hostile because I wanted to ‘retaliate’. So there was no other way. Since making a new path I’ve become more excited about my evenings and weekends because I get to learn something new. I could get fired or my salary could get affected (consequences). Other than the temporary guilt I have been feeling much happier this year. It was hard at first but I’m definitely becoming more care free and happy. I’ve totally embraced the new change! It’s still a bit hard but it’s happy hard. Time management is still a bit of a problem and I’ve had to get used to writing again (for my assignments) so it’s a work in progress.

So you can see how the combination of addressing these questions was able to ease up a bit of the guilt. And it’s also a plus if the corresponding person makes it easy by being an uncontrollably inconsiderate person!

Put yourself first! Be brave!!

xx

Evolving my Blog

Hi everyone!

I hope everyone is well! These days I’ve been thinking about starting a new blogging schedule because I’ve just posted when I had time or needed to let it out (y’all know the ones) and I recently got some extra time in my daily routine and suddenly I am having the worst writer’s block!!

But I did give me time to check in with other people’s blogs and videos and also gave me time to think about where I want to take this blog. I generally love fashion posts because those are my favourites to look/watch but unfortunately the do the worst in terms of views and buzz and that really breaks my heart. So if I could rate myself I would definitely say that I probably lack great photography skills and the right editing softwares (whichI am working on).

So when life got rough I usually felt comfortable settling into lifestyle blogging which made me really insecure because it really reveals my insecurities and I want people to feel inspired, renewed and motivated when they come to my blog. It did, however, help me grow as a person, as a girl and as an adulting woman. It definitely helped my blog grow too because people had a really good reaction to them and making people feel better about their situations is a legit real passion that I hope to turn into a career one day.

Then this year I got into beauty blogging and to be honest I really hope I doesn’t become a major part of my blog because I don’t have a real talent for it (same with DIYs) but people do amazing things with make-up and I just would not know where to start. In building a brand you have to look put together and seeing that I don’t have people who can do it for me I have to learn to do it by myself and that has also contributed to my growth as a blogger and a woman.

Overall I think that going forward you’ll be seeing a lot of evolving on my blog as I discover what I can do and what I like doing. The goal this year is definitely to grow my blog without any pressure or comparisons. The blogging world has grown so much and having a full time job plus overtime and studying part-time makes it so much harder to remain consistent and up to date with everything.

Another one of my goals is to grow my Youtube channel as me. The real me. When I watch my old videos I have this stay professional tone and that’s not me. I think that filming about things that are more me will help me stay authentic and therefore make me stay consistent because I’ll be seeing more of my personality. If you’re wondering why that hasn’t happened, I really have no answer to it. Maybe I’m a really good actress/perfectionist! But I will adjust that soon.

Another thing that makes blogging hard is how expensive it really is. The data and the softwares and all the new apps coming out makes it a bit hard. My job is basically like interning so you can imagine how much I earn and then there’s also adulting expenses that are affected by inflation and politics everyday. So it makes you get left behind in terms of getting professional help in terms of photography, editing and collaborations. For example – at this point I can not afford to use Final Cut Pro to edit because I’ll first need to get a Macbook. How much is a Macbook? Now turn that to Rand. Or using an Iphone to get the best photos in order to have the best Instagram feed. I don’t even check the prices for that!

Point is, right now blogging needs to stay just an outlet for me. Because there’s really a lot of pressure that we put on ourselves so the pressure from others is really not helping. So if you feel like you’re running out of breath and you’re spending so much on your blog without yielding the benefits – you’re not the only one. 

Take a deep breath and work a bit on your content while you live your life day by day. Remember to take breaks from social media and all the online trolls and get YOU back.

Be kind to yourself!

10 things that WASTE your TIME!

Hi everyone!

Recently I had to face the fact that I have 24 hours just like everyone else but it just seems like I have less time at the end of the day. It made me feel ineffective and so depressed because I have all these plans but my time management skills are not on par with my plans and dreams.

So sometimes it helps to account for all the time available to you. To make an example I’ll use my Mondays.

As you can see, work takes up the majority of my time. And I always try to get about 7 hours of sleep because I’m miserable with less!! Been trying to cut down to 6 because of my studies but it just hasn’t happened. Plus I’ve also been trying to sleep without having the TV on. Which has been a long process but it’s finally happening!

So a few things could be wasting that 3.5 hours of free time you have in that precious 24 hour cycle.

1.       Watching repeating shows. Look Friends has been on the airways for like what...a 100 years? But we keep on watching The One Chandler marries Monica over and over again. They already made money on that episode that first or second time you watched it!!

2.       Taking a nap when you’re not sleepy. Maybe it’s because I’ve never mastered a nap but taking a nap that will not amount to anything is so frustrating! Most times I end up waking up and doing what I was doing before.

3.       Endless gossip. If you haven’t noticed, gossiping takes time and it’s the real juicy gossip that takes even more time. I’ve been accused a lot about being an impatient gossip listener but I just can’t spend hours listening to that. Just tell me the piece at the end where my jaw drops.

4.       Wishing you could change something. I’m the biggest victim to this because it takes me a while to accept things for what they are and until recently loved ones for who they are. I just grew up in my own world because I was an extreme introvert for most of my life. So accepting a situation promotes a realistic opportunity to come up with real solutions so that your life can move on.

5.       Social Media. Look we’re always on our phones…so that’s not the problem. The problem is when Study Time becomes Instagram time. And I’m a huge victim to this. I literally feel like I have a serious case of FOMO! These days I just give someone my phone until I can get this under control!!

6.       Looking for something to wear. This takes soooo much time in the morning!! One of the reasons why I’m always late! On the mornings when I picked out something the night before I find that I’m on time and less frustrated!

7.       Trolling Youtubers and bloggers. Think about that 5- 10 minutes you wasted trying to break a person’s spirit. You could have used it to build up yours seeing that your powers to break it comes from you! Ever since I started blogging I eventually started seeing that it’s just better to unfollow rather than spend all your time not liking someone’s content! Find someone else you like and uplift them!

8.       Internal Turmoil. I used to suffer from this FOR YEARS. Up to the point where I’ll have a serious case of heartburn! I never want to hurt people but sometimes people just force the worse out of you. Even though at the time you were standing up for yourself you later on spend hours thinking about what you said to them. If you’re wrong – apologize. If not – then accept what you said and move on!!

9.       Bad Friends. We’ve all had that friend that does nothing in return for you!! All they do is take/receive and all you do is give - up until one day you have nothing to show for it!! You will see it on the day when you need them the most – they will typically not drop everything for you even if you’ve shifted your universe for something less urgent for them. Realize that it’s time to walk away.

10.   Not cleaning after yourself.  If you make a mess, don’t you realize that future time needs to be used to clean it up? When I’m not feeling well, you can tell by my room. I sometimes say that the state it is in, represent how I feel. But when I wake up and I’m blessed with a new day I have to use time out of that day to clean up yesterday’s mess!!! What a waste of time!!

11.   EXTRA ONE – Do not spend time worrying about tomorrow. That is such a waste of time. Instead spend your time planning and always leave room to be surprised and blessed! And also be prepared to deal with challenges in a positive manner!!

Hope this helps!!

xx

Crisis Control

Hi everyone!!

Guys, I’ve been having the biggest writer’s block everrrrr!! All I can think about is how I constantly need to be studying which would basically be adapting to what my life should be right now. I don’t know how working single moms can also study part-time. I really have the biggest respect for them now.

Anyway so today I thought we could talk about how to handle chaos which is the definition of my world right now. I sometimes wish that I had a routine job because my job requires me to be quite flexible because I work with different clients with different needs. So I can plan all I want but on most days I have prioritize which fire to blow out first.

So on days of chaos I also have slightly severe self-confidence issues as well. Like I feel bad if my hair isn’t awesome or if I didn’t have enough time to apply a layer of foundation or most importantly concealer! Or if my lips don’t have some Vaseline! I feel sick and definitely look sick. So those issues can add to how you handle challenges coming your way.

So when that happens I try to fix atleast one thing in each of the following life spheres:

1.       Spiritual Well being

This is more than religion or how you spend your Sundays/Saturdays. It’s how about inner cleansing. Releasing things you cannot change and accepting new changes in your life. Find inner peace and using that to face your daily struggles. Sometime you find that you’re holding a grudge or someone disappointed you in some way and you keep dragging that along.

2.       Outer Appearance

This might be different to each of us but for me I find that I feel quite okay if I have even toned skin, my bags are packed with some concealer, my brows are filled and I have one layer of mascara. My outfit is comfortable (because I’m seated all day) and I’m wearing comfy (preferable strappy shoes).  Usually on those days I can basically be Olivia Pope.

3.       Work Stress

I can actually put those two words together because some of us don’t have jobs that make us happy yet. I’m just so glad my body has gotten used to the routine and I no longer feel like I’m waking up under a rock. Sometimes when you stop fighting something it actually gives you space. So this year I’ve learnt to embrace every challenge and really apply my mind because you don’t know if you need those particular skills for what you’re meant to do in future.

4.       Emotional Intelligence

It’s so essential for your emotional state to be in check when you’re going through a crisis because if that is also a factor it could be origin of all your stress/chaos/crisis. It’s very important to try and address the original feeling that got hurt. We spend so much time thinking how we would get back at a person that when the question is finally being asked you just cry about everything. Sometimes it can just be neglect but you confuse it with what he did last week that also pissed you off but wasn’t a deal breaker.  Emotional honesty is so key.

5.       Physical Needs

Instagram is poisoning us with beautifully sculpted bodies and quick ways to achieve them but you just can’t get up on Monday to run around the block. I actually set up an alarm to go running in the mornings and I snoozed it for a whole month up until one day I convinced myself to just start speed walking in the mornings and there I was walking after a whole month of not being able to get out of bed. It’s also important to change your diet. Exercises doesn’t equal eat whatever I want. Keep your body healthy. Sometimes, for control, I would imagine what the combination of my food looks like all mixed up in body with little flies around it. It's disgusting but it works!! Try it!

Try small and you’ll be able to handle the bigger stuff with time!

Love

xx

One Size Fits All?

Hi everyone!!

I’m super excited about today’s topic because I think we can all relate to the one or other bra-blem we’re going to talk about. Let me introduce you to Thirdlove, a bra company, to give you some pretty easy hacks that can save you a lifetime of back pain and basically everyday behind the shirt drama.

So I have pretty small boobies so mostly I used to struggle with these gaping holes in my cleavage area which were awful to look at. I had friends who had even smaller boobs and I thought a ‘32A’ was made for them so I always bought a ‘34B’ bra. And then even when I hooked it at the last hook it would still not be nice and rested on my chest. And my other problem while I was wearing that bra was that my straps would twist on themselves a lot. Then I would have to find the nearest bathroom and take it it off to fix it. *sigh*

Until one day I just decided to get a ‘32C’. And suddenly the world had clouds and sun again. I had solved two problems. The bra was the perfect size and the boobies were chilled and tucked in. And since then even if I sent my mom to get me new bras I was always guaranteed that it would fit.

I think today we’re at that point where there’s the correct bra for all kinds of boobs ( I laughed a bit at the end of that) but people are stuck in the wrong size because only the one need is fulfilled and then then they neglect the other which led them in finding the wrong size. I have a friend who refused to wear a ‘D’ cup because she said that her boobs weren’t that massive. But at soon as she got over that it was like she wasted all that time stuck in the wrong bra instead of just finding the bra that would give her comfort and let her feel confident.

So today you can use this chart to solve your everyday problems and to also give you one less thing to worry about.

I'm in the 8-5 world so comfort is definitely at the top of my list when I'm shopping for the perfect bra. So these are the type of bras that I would I live in!! What I look for is comfort and a little bit of cute/sexy.

This nude and lace black t-shirt bras are perfect for work - underneath crisp shirts and sensitive blouses. It's like its not even there. I also love this plunging lace bra which perfect for those deep v-shirts and tops for a little bit of sexy!

I hope this post was helpful to you and that you got to solve some issues that you've been secretly struggling with!! Visit Thirdlove to check out their bra collection to find the one for you!

Love,

Valentine's Day :: Single Girls

Hi everyone!

If you’re planning on spending Valentine’s Day in your pjs and with a tub of ice-cream (even though that sounds like something I’d look forward to) then I have some ideas for you to also have a fantastic day on the day of ‘love people’!

This is mainly for people who recently got out of a relationship or never been in a relationship on Valentine’s Day! Round up your other single friends so that they can also have a good day with you!!

This year Love day is on a Sunday so there’s a lot of time to hang out with your friends or do something fun.

The SOLO plan

1.       Stay in

Look, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with having a quiet day in! There’s a lot of people I know (including myself) who prefer isolation in any situation. The solution here is not to cry…because you’re by yourself. Make it an event! Get your knee-high socks and chunky sweater, catch up on some Netflix/ShowMax or start the book that you haven’t opened and get cracking!

2.       Go shopping

Because everyone is out on their dates and the malls are slower on Sundays this is the perfect time to catch up on some shopping and take advantage of V-day sales that people are missing out on. Make it a shopping mission, in that way you’re not there to be around people who are in love!! ALERT: Avoid all FOODCOURTS!!

3.       Administrative Leave

This is hilarious because it will help you keep V-day like any other day. Some people get really depressed/lonely on V-day but the key is to stay busy so that you don’t arrange a solo mission to planet depression/loneliness. Life is far too previous for that. You can catch up on your blog schedule, study, prepare for class 1 month in advance or use your planning skills to get you organized!

The CROWD plan

1.       Girl’s Night Out

If you and your friends have no plans then make it a reason to wear RED sequin dresses!! Plan a night out and just dress up! In that way you all did not sit at home and cry about different reasons why this day is so awful! Next Day will be a Monday and it will be like it never happened!!

2.       Invite your mom out for lunch.

My mom doesn’t have a husband anymore so this would definitely be a good day to make her feel loved and appreciated! We sometimes forget that our parents need that adoration and affection. So if one of your parents don’t have a date on V-day then I guess there’s a vacancy with your name on it!

3.       A mixer

Living in a small town with specific type of people I realized that I always sing one song. There are no young people in my town. But I’ve since realized that people are too indoors and tend to stick to the same click so you never meet people unless you’re invited to a social/mixer! So either arrange one or find out if there’s one you can go to!!

If this doesn’t fix a lonely Valentine’s Day, I seriously don’t know what will!! LoL!!

I HOPE YOU GET SORTED!!

Love,

Preventing January Brokedom

Hi everyone!!

I watch people go through this every year and it amazes me how people still don’t plan for their shortcomings in January. My mom is a teacher so she’ll always tell me that her kids would all pack up and go see their families in Gauteng and then in January they won’t have enough money for school fees, uniform or books.

So this is only my first year of working and I obviously have no experience in staying afloat myself so these suggested tips will be of how I plan to have myself covered when I return to work in January!! Obviously you should let your hair down, enjoy yourself and end 2015 on a good note! But before you do that, you’ll want to consider these few life saver tips!!!

Pay all your fixed costs (recurring costs) for January now before starting with your Christmas Shopping.

Buy what you’ll need in January now while you have money e.g sanitary products that ran out in December.

Keep your gift shopping to what you can afford.

Only go on trips that you’ve been planning for or ones you are invited to and the majority of the trip has already been taken care of or is free.

Buy things with an expiry date that is past January – in that way you know that you won’t have to include it in your January grocery list.

Avoid using your credit card. Or use an amount that you can pay off within the first month in 2016.

Don’t pick up the tab - no matter how monied you are. You’ll remember that money when it’s rough and the people who you supplied with free booze will also be too broke to remember you.

Make your way back to where you live after the holidays 2 days in advance. I found that it helps you get ready for the first workday of 2016 and also gives you enough time to run last minute errands before the hecticness starts up again.

Enjoy Christmas and New Year responsibly!!

Love

10 tips to get ready for summer!!

Hi everyone!!

It seems like you guys liked the 10 tips to get ready for spring so I decided to write another one for summer! I don’t know what you guys will be doing but I think that we always experience scorching hot Decembers all over the country! So before the sun sets, let’s get started!!

1.       I’ve been talking about reaching year end goals since the second semester started, so I’d suggest that if you haven’t done something cool, we should think about something right now. The only thing to remember about 2015 can’t be Japan beating the Boks (rugby) or #feesmustfall or Adele’s Hello. Plan a last minute trip or invite a few friends to go hiking and make some memories!!

2.       If you’re not bikini bod ready, it’s not a train smash. You could either (a) not wear a bikini and do something more outdoors or (b) decide that everyone should fly sideways and wear your bikini anyway!! Life’s too short to care what people think. Especially if you’ve had a rough year.

3.       Let go. If you’ve had a rough year it’s really a huge load to carry going into Christmas with a heavy heart. If you can, find a way to let go so that you can carry on. If you need some time on your own, take some time off and disconnect in a healthy way.

4.       Family Time. Spend some time with loved ones. There’s something really therapeutic about that. And if you’re in a cool family like mine it will feel great to hear about the progress that your family has made during the year.

5.       Reflect. With some painful memories behind you, you might not want to do that. But if 2015 was a good year for you then this would be the perfect time to tick off some things that you’ve achieved in the year.

6.       Love. If you’ve been in a committed, long-term relationship, this is the time to capitalize on holidays and finally spending some time together. And also the best time for the perfect gifts. And some reassurances and making new memories. If you’re not in a relationship then this is the perfect time to let your guard down and mingle!

7.       Fashion. Summer is all about skin. The dresses, the shorts, sunscreen lotion and flip-flops and rad sunnies. Even if you’re not going to be dipping in the ocean, you just have to know the dress code! Don’t walk around in sweats and slippers! Dressing up can do wonders for your mood and worries!

8.       Planning New Year’s Eve. Isn’t amazing how many weird stories you hear of what people do on New Year’s Eve? LOL! You can’t be spending it at home! Find out what your friends are doing and join in on the fun and weird stories!! Or better yet – put together your own party!

9.       If you’ve been unhappy the whole year, and it’s your fault, really…it’s time to wake up and make changes. Personally, I’m not really a fan of New Year’s Resolutions but for the sake of argument – let’s call it that word. They fall apart so easily but the realisation that the year has gone to waste and it’s already December….that has GOT to be a wakeup call to anybody!!

10.   Bid Farewell. Also similar to the thing mentioned up here but not at the same time. Say goodbye to all bad habits (realistically). There’s no point in dragging things that you know are not good for you around all year. This includes people. People who don’t appreciate you or try to match the effort you put in for them in their own way.

 Life is a gift! To live I in regret or misery is a tragedy. Make changes today!!

Love,

How writing can help you speak up

Hi everyone!

As you know I grew up quite shy and very behind the scenes. Even though that might still be the case today I think it’s a lot better than what it used to be. I can now communicate without being too anxious and I can also be funny and not as socially awkward.

It’s been a long journey but I can definitely say that having a blog has helped me speak up. I believe that even though shy people say that they have nothing to say, it’s not really true. They just have nothing to say out loud. And I’ve been there. So I had something to say but it just wouldn’t go past my lips.

Here’s why I think writing can help you speak up:

·         Have a writing platform. You don’t need a blog. You need pen and paper/laptop. The hardest part is to get the ball rolling. Write about something close to your heart.

·         Emotions. Writing can be quite emotional. Especially if you’re a person that bottles things up or absorbs a lot of emotions, this could give you the freedom to finally express yourself.

·         Release. I believe the biggest part about setting something free is for it to longer be in your heart. Before blogging, I had a diary and shortly before that I used to write letters on a blank page and after pouring everything into it, I’d burn it. It’s really therapeutic.

·         Another one. If you feel like writing that first letter didn’t aid you in any way, that’s okay. Write another one. This time directed to a person. We all have something to say to each other. Now, put it in a letter. Especially when you can’t say it to the person’s face.

·         Now Speak. Start with smaller groups. You’ll have to fabricate the confidence though. Speaking is easy when the conversation is about things that you are interested in. You have opinions and views because it’s something you think about all the time. Now let it be heard.

·         Engage. Being part of groups really helps but there comes a time when it’s your turn to make other shy people come out of their shell. Bring people together with similar interests to yours. You don’t even have to do it face to face. These days there’s twitter chats and Facebook groups and things like that that has made it real easy for people with similar interests to connect!

What are you waiting for?

Get started!!