Friday, 10 April 2015

How to deal : If someone opens up an old wound

Hi everyone!!

A couple of years ago I started coming out of my shell more and I’d interact with a lot of people. Students of course. Took a lot of leadership roles to learn how to handle the pressure of having a lot of people depends on me. It was okay. I felt good to help people, to inspire and to motivate.
Now that I work, there’s just a different kind of interaction going on. And I’ve come to realize that people here don’t need to be friendly. And you also have no idea how they were raised so anything can happen any day.
I work in a place with a lot of levels so we all depend on each other. And sometimes this makes me wish that I could just work in isolation so that if someone is having a bad day then I don’t have to talk to them. As harsh as that sounds.
So recently I had an encounter that opened up such a hurtful part of my life. Worst part was – I thought I was over it until all the emotions that I thought I had put behind me came rushing back. It’s as if the blood was drained from face and the tears were all over my eyes like an unscheduled rain shower.
To make it worse, the person helping me doesn’t know about that time in my life so all these facts made him more sarcastic because he’s a bit more established/higher level than me and has successfully gone through this part that I struggled to climb over.

I think I just left.

Left the office to have some air in my eyes.

When I came back I built up enough courage to get the interaction over and done with. And was just so relieved.
So these are key things that I think helped me handle it:
-As soon as I got emotional I immediately thought of options to remain calm. For me that’s air, cool water and keeping busy with some other task or leaving the environment. It’s important not to make a scene. Because then you’d have to explain the whole story or it will make the office hostile/tense.

-Remember why it’s in the past. What helped here is that I dealt with this matter thoroughly and it helped control the tears because I’ve cried about it endlessly before. If it gets out of control rather take an early lunch or rest of the day off. Or bottle it and take care of it at night by talking to someone about it.

- Do not hold a grudge. This person wasn’t in my life at the time so he’s not aware of the level of sensitivity that this particular issue comes with. So don’t keep them in your mind/heart. There’s just no time.

- Pull yourself together. Don’t waste the whole day! Work on something else or from somewhere else where you can continue being productive/ remain positive. Be strong!
Can you guys relate to this topic? I think writing it in the heat of the moment just helped me now to overcome it! You can also try to do just that!


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