What was 2017 though?

Hi everyone!

I feel like I kind of knew 2017 was going to suck before it started. Admitting that, is probably the saddest  thing to ever come out of me. I was looking toward a hard year and all I thought of was that the only thing I needed to do, was to survive. And it started going badly the first week already and I deeply depressed by the end of January.

I can barely remember each day. All that I can recall is waking up, doing my best to not crack down at work and getting home to my lover – Insomnia. After a while I started having a glass of wine more frequent than I can remember so that I can fall asleep and not be hooked on sleeping pills – again.

I definitely put my body through the most. I had a lot of takeaways and never planned my meals. I would eat after 10pm. I would never walk or do any form of exercise. I completely stopped caring about my appearance. I was completely dehydrated at one stage because I never drank water during the day or in the morning like I used to do.

My family also went through a lot of ups and downs and most days were about us all not cracking down and falling apart. We had to adjust to a lot. And accept not having certain things that we are used to. We definitely talked less, however I think that worked in our favour because we all knew what we were going through so we remind each other? We definitely spent more time apart because we could not afford to see each other as often.

I was dealing with first hand debt issues.  Don’t know how other people dealt with this as students! After I sold my car I had a lot of debt and I had to cut back on everything! I still am. On the other hand –work was such a nightmare. I just realized that I’m wasting my time and I’m always ill for no reason. Through this issue, I had to learn how to deal with anxiety. I have a huge fear of the unknown and it is horrible for me to always worry if tomorrow will be okay. If I will be able to persevere.  If I will endure.

I definitely tired a lot of things but one thing I realized that is that you can always wrap a problem up nicely but at the end of the day it’s still there. In most cases, I would actually be okay for a couple of days and then have a bad weekend. I hated being in conversations where people were discussing their future plans and things they were proud of. Which caused me to spend a lot of time on my own which basically added to the anxiety.

Through all of this I definitely grew stronger, It might not be academically or in work experience but definitely In my mental state.

And all my hope came from this one scripture I would always repeat::

Phil 4:6 – ‘Do not worry about anything, but instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank Him for ALL that he has done’

It’s so easy to get lost in what you don’t have or what has not happened to you but never waste another second worrying about it. It will turn you into someone you can’t even recognize and that will just make your journey so much harder.

Join me on my channel where I will be having a conversation about this so that it can be more interactive! 

10 things I learnt in my First Year of Work

Hi everyone!

It’s been exactly 19 months since I became a person with bills! What a journey it’s been! I’ve gone from wanting to take a gapyear to 100% anxiety almost every day to being brave in order to learn as much as possible. As you know I do not enjoy my full time job at all and what you guys might not know is that it’s actually a learnership so you are sort of compelled to complete it. So that’s been super stressful because it comes with part time studying which is probably the most frustrating thing I’ve ever had to do.

So despite all that I’ve had to grow up like a million years in a small amount of time. I’m also first born in my family so that comes with its own stress and you can only understand if you’ve ever been expected to help out here and there. I do think, though, that it teaches you responsibility and the ability to take care of your younger siblings.

So today I’ll be sharing with you what I’ve learnt during my first year of being an income earning young adult.

1.       You don’t earn enough money to buy everything you’ve ever wanted

I thought when I walk into a job I will finally be able to get those ‘expensive’ shoes that looked too expensive when I was still getting an allowance (soooo not from mom, lol). I don’t have half the stuff I thought would have by now. There’s just so many other things that need money that soon it’s December and you’re asking yourself where your life went!

2.       Be careful with new acquaintances

I have had so many instances where people use your work number to contact you at home. And men get so excited when a new lady enters their work space that they all try to get to know you at once. Best line to use is ‘I’m not allowed to interact with the client about anything other than work to maintain our independence’. Omw, that’s so genius! (And actually true in our line of work).

3.       Always make time to socialize

It can be frustrating to get to know new people in a new place. I don’t know how my new friends came to be but they mostly originated from friends of fellow trainees and also through church and once off events like ‘Colour Run’ that was sooo much fun!

4.       Create a list of things you’ve always wanted to do

This really helped me this year. Once it’s written down and prayed about it will come to pass and if not then something better will make an appearance. What is really important is to work towards it. There is nothing as exhausting as a person who keeps wanting something but doesn’t lift a finger to do anything about it.

5.       Do not live above your means

Living in debt is not cool. Because it tricks you into believing that you are spending your own money. If you always tap into your credit card – it simply means that you can’t afford your life.

6.       Always buy in bulk

I have this fear of running out of toothpaste. Specifically toothpaste. Don’t know why. Point of it is so that you have some spare cash that you can use on other things that you wouldn’t normally buy. But if you always buy small units of perishables you’ll have no flexibility in your budget.

7.       Vacations only happen when planned

I meant to go on holiday last year and it never happened because I did not plan properly in time. Going on a holiday on credit is a BIG NO! Enjoy Rewards, not INTEREST!

8.       Your weight will be different

I’ve been so many sizes in past year. I’ve finally gotten to the point where I can wear care free dresses and sometimes I can’t wear them because my hips are too massive. But that’s okay because it’s never permanent. Find a diet that’s healthy and works for you!

9.       See your family as much as possible

I think that independence means everything to me. So I haven’t been home as much as I could have been so now my Mom comes to me. She’s the only person I would visit at home so this solves that issue! But going home serves such an important purpose. It’s that breeze of fresh air that you just can’t buy.

10.   It’s okay to make mistakes

I think my mom raised me to be a perfectionist. It’s how I’ve always seen myself. But for some reason when I got to varsity I just realized that if you take the shame out of everything you can really live your life to the fullest. It’s okay not to have time, it’s okay to not see all your friends as often as you can. Sometimes we really lose ourselves in trying to get to everything. Sometimes just say NO!

Be Kind,