Wednesday, 11 March 2015

How to BUILD Confidence from the ground up!

Hi everyone!!

When I look up the word confidence I just found long sentences trying to explain it but loved what was said about ‘self-confidence’ just a bit more.

“when one does not dwell on negative consequences one can be more ‘self-confident’ because one is worrying far less about failure/disapproval of others following potential failure. One is then more likely to focus on the actual situation which means that the enjoyment and success in that situation is also more probable.”

I mean... doesn’t that just speak to you? Confidence is really something you build inside. Later on people will be able to see it on the outside. And it does not happen overnight – practice makes perfect!!

So throughout my life I was known as that critically shy girl. It was just written all over me. You could see it in the way I walk, talk, dress and I guess in the way I carried myself.

Until I got to university and developed a love for fashion and all things pretty. And part of the reason was probably because I could now buy it myself. Before, my mother tried to make me a tomboy and she bought my clothes that made me feel so ugly and buried.

Getting new clothes also meant looking more confident because I can’t have hunched shoulders in a beautiful bodycon dress. Unless you really want to destroy it. Had to walk up straight and pretend to be a pro in heels (not pretending meant letting everyone see that you do the funky chicken).

So here are some quick tips to help you look confident:

STAND UP STRAIGHT! Obviously this is like step one of life. People just respond better to what you say if you look like you care about yourself and you know what you’re talking about.
KNOW YOUR BODY! Don’t wear things that don’t fit you. People judge you based on that sometimes even if they don’t say it. Their minds make that decision for them.

BE APPROACHABLE. This is still an ongoing struggle for me. Doesn’t matter how friendly I try to be, people still feel afraid to get to know me. But once they do, they don’t understand where I’ve been all their lives!!(lol)

IT’S OKAY TO BE DIFFERENT. You don’t have to like stuff that other people like. Part of being confident (like above) is to enjoy what you like. Be who you like to be and not what a box that people might place you in.

DON’T CARE about things that don’t add value to your life. This took me a long, long time to master. I used to lie awake at night thinking about something someone said and 3 days later it would still bother me while that person lives on. That is precious time that I will never get back.

MAKE-UP! It is such an effective tool in trying to look strong, confident and sane. One day I was probably having the worst day and a friend of mine was like ‘Wow, you sure look good for someone who’s going through something like that’ and I was like YAASSSSS!

A POSITIVE ATTITUDE! It’s so infectious. And a powerful tool of not accepting defeat.

DO YOU FEEL HALFWAY THERE ALREADY?

Obviously you don't have to do all these things at once! Take it one day at a time! Sooner or later people will start to notice it!

Lots of Love

Jbi!


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