Sunday, 31 December 2017

What was 2017 though?

Hi everyone!

I feel like I kind of knew 2017 was going to suck before it started. Admitting that, is probably the saddest  thing to ever come out of me. I was looking toward a hard year and all I thought of was that the only thing I needed to do, was to survive. And it started going badly the first week already and I deeply depressed by the end of January.
I can barely remember each day. All that I can recall is waking up, doing my best to not crack down at work and getting home to my lover – Insomnia. After a while I started having a glass of wine more frequent than I can remember so that I can fall asleep and not be hooked on sleeping pills – again.

I definitely put my body through the most. I had a lot of takeaways and never planned my meals. I would eat after 10pm. I would never walk or do any form of exercise. I completely stopped caring about my appearance. I was completely dehydrated at one stage because I never drank water during the day or in the morning like I used to do.

My family also went through a lot of ups and downs and most days were about us all not cracking down and falling apart. We had to adjust to a lot. And accept not having certain things that we are used to. We definitely talked less, however I think that worked in our favour because we all knew what we were going through so we remind each other? We definitely spent more time apart because we could not afford to see each other as often.

I was dealing with first hand debt issues.  Don’t know how other people dealt with this as students! After I sold my car I had a lot of debt and I had to cut back on everything! I still am. On the other hand –work was such a nightmare. I just realized that I’m wasting my time and I’m always ill for no reason. Through this issue, I had to learn how to deal with anxiety. I have a huge fear of the unknown and it is horrible for me to always worry if tomorrow will be okay. If I will be able to persevere.  If I will endure.

I definitely tired a lot of things but one thing I realized that is that you can always wrap a problem up nicely but at the end of the day it’s still there. In most cases, I would actually be okay for a couple of days and then have a bad weekend. I hated being in conversations where people were discussing their future plans and things they were proud of. Which caused me to spend a lot of time on my own which basically added to the anxiety.

Through all of this I definitely grew stronger, It might not be academically or in work experience but definitely In my mental state.

And all my hope came from this one scripture I would always repeat::
Phil 4:6 – ‘Do not worry about anything, but instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank Him for ALL that he has done’

It’s so easy to get lost in what you don’t have or what has not happened to you but never waste another second worrying about it. It will turn you into someone you can’t even recognize and that will just make your journey so much harder.

Join me on my channel where I will be having a conversation about this so that it can be more interactive! 

Saturday, 23 December 2017

Thursday, 14 December 2017

My 1st FULL Sew-in | No leave out | For Beginners

Monday, 16 October 2017

Quality Time with Family

Hi everyone!

I’ve been feeling awesome lately! I’ve been so stoked to share my family reunion story this year! Last year was so awful because I was stuck in the Northern Cape during the time of our reunion last year! That really bummed me out! Seeing my family is the highlight of the year! So you can imagine how awful it was to not be with my crew for a whole year!

Earlier this year we went to our family wedding and it was amazing even though I wasn’t feeling fresh at the time! I had a really low self-esteem (still feel like that at times) and I was so confused about my life and my career. It still feels frustrating at times but I’ve just been having better days. Travelling there was a complete nightmare. My mom hates driving long distance so we always have to take a bus. The bus from Mozambique is always so crammed and disorganized therefore that leg of the trip is a freakin’ nightmare! But once we were headed to the Free State it was so much better. Mom and I even got into a fight about the family reunion that I’m (I’ll repeat I’M) in charge of for 2019!

How beautiful is this?

When we got there we basically had enough time to do catch ups and planning for the ceremony on Saturday. This year I was part of the organizing committee for the first time so there were a lot of things to do that I had no idea of! My aunt and cousin did such a good job and I was so blessed to have them in my team as they did the most of the heavy lifting. We normally put together a tent, organize music, get the food ready and keep the programme light and easy. Most of the time EVERYONE cries because we consist mostly out of women and we are sooooooo emotional!

Brother & Mom

Mom & her gorg sisters

Lovely hair decor!

Family Identity & wonderful gifts from my aunt! 

Basically this year I feel like we had a lot of healings. We all go through hard times. Like hard, hard times. And I think we’ll all agree that no matter what happens, time with family is time with family. We all walk away inspired. Or feeling a little better about our situation at home. Our health has improved so much over the years and I think it has a lot to do with being super happy. We just feed off of each other and we all come back the following year stronger and just further in life.

If there are obstacles stacked against a group of people to not meet up – it’s us. We are not financially stable, we don’t always get along & we don’t have enough resources to keep up with the world but we ALWAYS make it our priority to come together! So if there’s something to take away from this post is to always prioritize RELATIONSHIPS above anything! It’s the one thing nobody can buy and no-one can take away!

Lead with Love!

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