Aunt Jackie's Curls & Coils REVIEW

Hi everyone!

It’s been a while! I got done with work for the year on Thursday and then I spent 3 days just passed out because my body would not function! So then I thought it would be great to take some time off social media and just relax. That did not last too long because it just felt like the time was just slipping by. I recently turned 25 (which I’ll talk about in a separate post) so there’s literally NO MORE TIME LEFT ON THIS EARTH!

I had so many videos planned and it was so hard to execute because there was simply no time. Some of them now fell into the cracks because I didn’t write them down or plan them properly so the ones I do remember will be up on my channel EVERY DAY THIS WEEK. AND YES – I’M ALREADY EXHAUSTED! I NEED TO HAVE A MASSAGE SCHEDULED ASAP!

As part of my videos this week I got to use Aunt Jackie’sCurls & Coils products after I took out my braids. I don’t have the whole range but I bought the ones I needed at the time because Clicks had a 3 for 2 special running on them (You pay for 2 products and get the cheapest one free).

So the Edge Control was the most expensive (R147.95) and truly a waste of money. Maybe I don’t know what Edge control is supposed to do but so sticky it almost didn’t move to the point where I had to dig it out with my nails. I really wish I can find an edge control that is actually friendly to my edges and a bit easy to manage because when I bought it said ‘smoothing gel’ but it was not smooth AT ALL!

This week was my first time using the Moisturizing &Softening Conditioner (R69.95) and I was very impressed with it! I love the smooth formula and it’s really easy to apply and it smells divine!! I wrapped it in a plastic cap and my hair was super soft by the time I unwrapped it. I’m definitely going back to this product. I used to use the Sunsilk conditioner which was ‘practical’ but this one is like a pudding with is absolutely fantastic!!

The last product I got was the Curl La La Defining CurlCustard (R59.95) which is why I looked for the range in the first place. I was looking for a product to use when I was going to try out a flat twist for the first time and I found out that Aunt Jackie’s is available at Clicks!! You can use it on wet and dry hair and also loved the smell! Definitely making this product part of my routine!

I definitely want to try their Curling Gel & Hair Milk! The 3 for 2 promotion ends on 24 Dec 2016!

I hope this review is helpful!

Have you guys heard of Aunt Jackie’s Curls & Coils before? Are you happy with it?

(All these products and the rest of the range is available at Clicks)

Love,

LA Girl Matte Flat Velvet Lipsticks Review

Hi everyone!

It’s been FOREVER. I hope you are all well and beautiful! I feel like I’ve missed everything this year. I also feel like I’ve missed all the trends and hypes. I still don’t have an Iphone or Snapchat and I feel exhausted coming from an out of town client where I was working 24/7 and driving for days.

While I was in the Northern Cape one of my colleagues was wearing this gorgeous brown matte lipstick and I just could not help but to ask her about it. She said she got it from Dischem of all places!! I’ve always looked for L.A girl but I always thought that Clicks would have it. So I was super excited to finally find it!

So to start off I knew I wanted the brown one so I had options between ‘Spicy’ and ‘Runway’. They only had ‘Runway’ in the tester (which is the one I wanted) but had to go with ‘Spicy’ and I’m actually very happy with it) and I knew I wanted a bold red because I wanted Ruby Woo and I can’t afford it right now because I’m in credit recovery.

Okay, let’s get to the goodies:

·         It’s so moisturizing. I’ve been on the matte groovy train so I know how drying matte lipsticks can be so I was so surprised how moisturizing it was. I only re-applied it twice throughout the day after meals and it just stayed gorgeous and full.

·         It smells amazing. Look, I don’t expect lipsticks to smell any kind of way but if it does it’s definitely a plus for me!

·         The colours are so bold. That’s such a plus for me in a lip colour. I need it to show up! And I’m so impressed with how gorgeous both the colours are on my skintone.

·         It’s only R59.99!

The bad

·         This is more like a recommendation – always apply balm balm or Vaseline before you apply the lipstick. It just looks unflattering on chapped lips!

Let me know what you think when you try it!

Love!

Essence Long Lasting Lipstick Review

Hi everyone!

I’m literally screwed. First off, I’m beyond burnt out because I work close to 14 hours per day and I can’t even take weekends off. I left my camera at home because it’s way too expensive to even leave it in the safes that come with guesthouses. Plus I feel like I’ve too open in my actual life. I have to contain that because it gives me anxiety more than anything. I haven’t shopped and I am in a huge financial crisis that I really hope I did not have right now.

On the plus side I recently got this Essence Long lasting lipstick that I was so excited to try out! I love how Essence adapts and stays hip and new and fresh. But it’s utterly important to try one product per range so that you can be happy with the quality because your stomach becomes bigger than your eyes! So to speak!

Some Pros. It’s rich and full. It’s also very moisturizing and has a great glossy finish. It’s affordable and has great packaging.                          

Some Cons. It’s super glidy so it was hard to apply to the hard to reach areas. The colour thins out and was pretty much gone after a minimal burger.

Bottom Line – It’s dealer’s choice! It’s not a bad lipstick but I will only use it on selected days. So it’s really up to you!

I was hoping the colour would come out more burgundy on my skintone but went way more brick than I thought!

Have you tried out this range?

What are your thoughts?

The 5 OKAYS

Hi everyone!

I’ve been out of town for 3 whole weeks now and I’m utterly exhausted. The pace is just so quick (I guess) which is bad for me because I’m still at the beginning stage where you get to know your client and their environment. I’ve had to change guesthouses because the one where I stayed had brown bedding (which might not be such a big deal but I just could not) so the new place is okay and I’m going to stay there now till end of November.

Yesterday I had the pleasure of hanging out with a friend that I met in university that I haven’t seen in a while. And you know how it starts with the ‘How have you been?’. I’ve been dreading that question for the last 3 years because it’s just always followed with such negativity. And to be quite honest I’m so tired of it. Just pure fatigue. Nobody tells you how tiring complaining can be. And so poisonous.

Yes, I do not know where my life is headed. I’m educated so that is a blessing and a privilege. And I have a job that pays the bills and also adds critical experience to my resume which is not all that bad. One thing I was completely clear about yesterday was just saying that I don’t have a 5 year plan right now and there’s so many contradictory things that I want to do in my life so I just don’t know where to start. That’s a point that we need to get to.

So today I’m going to help you say some things out loud so that your heart can make peace with it.  I’m going to call them the 5 okays.

1.       It’s okay to not have a 5 year plan

2.       It’s okay to not have everything you want right now

3.       It’s okay to not have all the answers in your20s

4.       It’s okay to feel lost/confused.

5.       It’s okay to withdraw

People who live their lives day to day might not get this. But people like me, who are serial planners and goal orientated, something like this is most definitely cringe-worthy. Like constantly and all day so it is not easy to get over it. It’s a process. If you can’t get your goals back in line or you don’t know what is next – this is a great place to start if it’s leaving you feeling hopeless.

Sometimes it will feel like nothing matters and that your life is basically over which should be a sign that it has been left untreated for too long. Similar to planning withdrawl. Because your plans used to give you purpose and something to look forward to so without it you feel like a drifter. A loser. And it also feels like you’re waiting for something to align again.

The point of talking about this is to enter the acceptance phase. It’s so easy to chase unicorns at this stage purely because you don’t want to go without goals/purpose. At this stage even with goals being without passion is so deadly. It’s like being retired with no post retirement plans. Or being without family during the Christmas holidays like Sandra Bullock in While you were Sleeping.

Don’t grow weary. Instead just prioritize and apply. Even if something is beyond your knowledge or it’s outside of how you’ve been trained. Always take a leap of faith atleast once or twice a year. And there’s 365 opportunities for you to add some passion/drive in your life. If something is preventing you now to be pro-active, then buckle up and see it through. Thereafter follow your dreams and passions and be happy!!

DARE TO DREAM AGAIN!!

Things YOU can do to help with anxiety

Hi there!

I’m known to not react well to some life stuff. I guess it’s why I always talk about how to react to them so much. I sometimes get anxiety because of how routine my life can get. Then I’ll get anxiety about trying something new. Then I’ll get anxiety about why I haven’t tried those new things that I said I would try. So if you feel like you also do this then call me up because I could really use a cool person to go through these anxieties with!

Lol, I’m jk. There’s plenty of things you can do to stabilize your anxiety. I think I go through a mild one because I’ve heard some scary stories from people who go through this every day. Recently I ‘overreacted’ to a work obligation that I could have handled better, looking back at it now. I knew that I was going to another province at the beginning of October. A few days after that I got a call saying that I’m leaving that Sunday.

I know that is very normal in our line of work but how but I think the peak of anxiety takes place when a number of things happen at once. At that moment, I was experiencing fatigue from clients that I’m currently working on, extreme writer’s block, ridiculous financial crisis and anxiety from trying to learn how to drive and I’m also learning to live with my siblings which is a thing of its own.

So going through this I’ve had to create a list of things I could do in order to deal with it better that doesn’t involve becoming a winery owner.

1.       Have a healthy control over substances.

If you’re a smoker/alcoholic/user of other things because of anxiety it will really help to not have too much dependence on it because it’s always what you’ll want to reach for as soon as you feel overwhelmed. Life stress doesn’t get less so learning to find ways to cope will definitely help you prioritize.

2.       Accept what you can’t change

A huge part of anxiety is not being able to get over something. It blocks your way and it makes you optionless. Sometimes the best thing to do is to look at it and accept it. This is so important because you have to make your mind accept it. It’s not just a switch that you can flip on. It’s like telling someone not to worry. So always make it a priority to have a method that work for you.

3.       Focus on the immediate problem

I think for us, instead of solving the problem right in front of us we tend to focus on how everything has been messed up since birth. And it can be really hard to re-focus on what you can do about your immediate hurdle. The road to recovery involves solving the issues instead of piling that issue onto the archive that you’re already carrying.

4.       Be one with Nature

This might only work for me but when things are quite rough all I can think of is getting some fresh air at a very high point. It’s probably why I can’t stand a place with tiny windows but I’m not about to add claustrophobia on my list of things so an alternative to this is to leave the room and count to 10. It sounds stupid until it’s the only thing you have left.

5.       Connection

You don’t need to be in a relationship to have someone to talk to. Recently I got a person that I just met and asked them to be a listener. They must be willing and you can give them instructions on how to be there for you. They should not give you solutions. That’s your job. Their purpose is for you to lower the load that you’re carrying so that you mind will be less pre-occupied.

Guys, life is hard but you don’t have to be. Always speak up because someone might be able to help you manage your life in a really healthy way.

Soft Pink for Spring

Hi Girls & Guys!

I always keep it barely there with make-up mainly because I have a limited stash and because I don’t buy make-up products that often. When I do, I normally grab as much as I can and regret it later because sometimes quality needs to be above quantity in this regard.

As you guys might know I stick to the affordable side of the aisle and I normally shop Essence and NYX and sometimes Revlon if I’m looking for one particular thing (like those matte liquid lippies). So recently I got a bunch of Essence lipliners that I used to create a look for my video using ‘Lovely Frappuccino’ and ‘Satin Mauve’.

The result was almost like a never to be repeated. Like whatever I do in future – I will never be able to have the same outcome. One thing I did not know, is that they have 2 types of lipliners. The one that you sharpen and the retractable one (preferred). So from now I’ll definitely stick to the retractable ones (for lazy reasons and the fact that I don’t have a sharpener). L O L!

It’s also a legit struggle for me to buy eyeshadow. After millions of hours watching Youtube I just haven’t gotten the hang of it. Till this day I don’t have a blending brush or a foundation brush for that matter but I know that that should not prevent me from looking as pretty as you lovelies! So for this look I used:

-          Colors Foundation (Foschini)

-          Avroy Shlain concealer in Dark (Definitely in the market for a new one)

-          Avroy Shlain duo eye shadow in ‘hot fudge’ and single eye shadow in ‘black’

-          Avroy Shlain brow liner in dark brown

-          Essence lipliners in ‘Lovely Frappuccino’ and ‘Satin Mauve’

-          Avroy Shlain Wet & Dry Powder Foundation in ‘Deep’

       As I've mentioned in my skincare routine, I experienced a lot of dryness during the winter so my skin around my jaw is very bad so most of the cover up goes there which sort of gets in the way of having a no make-up/barely there make-up look. Thankfully my forehead and high cheek remained clear which I'm so happy about!

In case you want to see what I mean by the damage caused by dryness...

Hope you liked this look!

Love,

2016 Spring Routine!

Hi everyone!

Last year I did a fun list of things to do in Spring and this year I think I would recommend the same things so I’ve decided not to do another one. However, Spring is my ultimate favourite season and I would feel completely empty if I don’t do something fun on this blog! First, I thought I should do a fun tag but work is really hectic right now so I thought I would show you guys my outfit on the first day of my favourite season!

I love wearing anything with this denim jacket because it's so playful and it goes with everything! Also, I’m working on my August Favourites today so that should be up on my channel by tonight! In addition to my #ootd I will share my favourite things about Spring!

1.       Blooming flowers

I love everything that represent newness. I love walking outside and just seeing pink flowers and nature at its greenest! We never really have a winter so by the time Spring comes up, our province already got a headstart!

2.       3 day flu symptoms

Without fail, every year, I get sick on 1-3 September with flu or flu like symptoms because of the change in season. This year it was coupled with headaches while I was having the worst hair week ever. But I know the drill by now so I was able to nurse myself back to health and now I’m 100%!

3.       It’s dress season!

Or as I would like to call it – legs season! I’m years away from wearing shorts but when it’s Spring I definitely get my dresses on! I’m in love with anything floral because they can always be layered with a solid and they don’t expose the lumps in the structure of your body. Like your love handles or how your bum is shaped as much as solid colour dresses do (except black).

4.       Curly Hair season

I don’t know if it’s just me but I love long curly hair. I love it for winter but mostly for Spring because it just ties in with wearing dresses and booties! I currently have straight hair(after this ootd) but I’m already thinking that I should curl it so that it has that body wave that looks bomb with a cute little dress!

5.       Everyone’s birthday is in September

O M W. I CANNOT!!!!! There’s a little more than 7 billion people on this earth, 5 billion have birthdays in September. If attending parties was socially compulsory I would own a mobile bar and just travel the country only in September and that would be my only job. Best thing to do is put all my lovelies on my calendar and make sure that I make each and every one of them feel special no matter where they are in the world. I’ve been forgetting so many birthdays this year and that’s a complete NO NO! Some improvement is being effected RIGHT NOW!!

Do you guys also have a lot friends with birthdays in September? Make sure to send them a shout out this year! It’s the thought that counts!!

Have a happy Spring!!

Essentials :: Corporate Summer Look

Hi Everyone!

I’ve been having an interesting August. By now I would have already packed a bag to work out of town (again) for 3 months. But for some reason I’m still in town and I’m all of a sudden in charge of our smaller clients (for the first time ever!) with even less supervision which is such good progress!

So the winter is slowly disappearing and Spring is almost around the corner so we normally skip right into Summer because it's already super hot! Recently, the biggest challenge is finding the best combination in transitioning back into your summer wardrobe but also being super comfortable at the office all day.

Today I will highlight some essentials that you’ll need to kick Summer’s butt. You guys know I’m all about being anxiety-free and most times it really comes from not feeling comfortable in what you’re wearing! But there are solutions and the ones below is how you can also make it happen!

For Men

image

-          Slim fit look

As of late, it has become very important for guys to look fresh at work. It’s so important that guys know what suits their bodies to have that crisp and stud look. What's even more important is also what's underneath! Undershirts should be a soft layer that you can barely feel and should also not burden your overall fitted look!

-          Discreet and Comfortable

Look, we’ve all seen those ‘adjusting grazes’ with guys! LET’S BE HONEST. Truly, I have no idea what guys go through to be comfortable in suits but why don’t we take a moment and look into some good alternatives. At the end of the day all you need is something with the best fabric, the best fit and something with a practical function like these options from Tommy John .

-          Can men Accessorize?

Lol, guys have such limited options so it's always best to stick to basics. Clean and simple looks very attractive. Even something basic like a good hair cut! Sometimes I’d like to think that it means that you’re a clean person overall. LOL! So even through the going into the summer you want to stick to cool and calm colours like all shades of blue. Also take your blazer with to assist in having the perfect balance between the heat outside and the cool air in your everyday office.

Tommy John

For Women

-          Stick to ready to wear pieces.

As of late I find myself drawn to dresses. Especially ones that do not need to ironed. Yes, it can get difficult when you’ve had too much to eat over the winter and you were able to layer it over with jackets and sweaters. It just so ready to wear and it still gives you that professional and effortless look.

-          The right fit.

We all build our days up to that moment when you unhook your bra when you get home but there’s no bigger torture than wanting to take it off every second of every day! Sure, you can bear it when there’s a hundred layers on top during the layering season, however it’s extra important to take the time to find the right undies that fit you!

-          If the shoe fits

Women love shoes. Whether they can walk in them or not. Now that we’re transitioning into Spring/Summer I can’t wait to break out the strappy heels!! They are just flattering and super comfortable and great for an overall corporate summer look! Even with pants!

At the end of the day we all need to adapt to the next season. So whether you’re a man/woman it’s always important to look for the next level of COMFORT so that all you need to take care of is smashing your deadlines and to be absolutely stress-free!

Love, 

10 things I learnt in my First Year of Work

Hi everyone!

It’s been exactly 19 months since I became a person with bills! What a journey it’s been! I’ve gone from wanting to take a gapyear to 100% anxiety almost every day to being brave in order to learn as much as possible. As you know I do not enjoy my full time job at all and what you guys might not know is that it’s actually a learnership so you are sort of compelled to complete it. So that’s been super stressful because it comes with part time studying which is probably the most frustrating thing I’ve ever had to do.

So despite all that I’ve had to grow up like a million years in a small amount of time. I’m also first born in my family so that comes with its own stress and you can only understand if you’ve ever been expected to help out here and there. I do think, though, that it teaches you responsibility and the ability to take care of your younger siblings.

So today I’ll be sharing with you what I’ve learnt during my first year of being an income earning young adult.

1.       You don’t earn enough money to buy everything you’ve ever wanted

I thought when I walk into a job I will finally be able to get those ‘expensive’ shoes that looked too expensive when I was still getting an allowance (soooo not from mom, lol). I don’t have half the stuff I thought would have by now. There’s just so many other things that need money that soon it’s December and you’re asking yourself where your life went!

2.       Be careful with new acquaintances

I have had so many instances where people use your work number to contact you at home. And men get so excited when a new lady enters their work space that they all try to get to know you at once. Best line to use is ‘I’m not allowed to interact with the client about anything other than work to maintain our independence’. Omw, that’s so genius! (And actually true in our line of work).

3.       Always make time to socialize

It can be frustrating to get to know new people in a new place. I don’t know how my new friends came to be but they mostly originated from friends of fellow trainees and also through church and once off events like ‘Colour Run’ that was sooo much fun!

4.       Create a list of things you’ve always wanted to do

This really helped me this year. Once it’s written down and prayed about it will come to pass and if not then something better will make an appearance. What is really important is to work towards it. There is nothing as exhausting as a person who keeps wanting something but doesn’t lift a finger to do anything about it.

5.       Do not live above your means

Living in debt is not cool. Because it tricks you into believing that you are spending your own money. If you always tap into your credit card – it simply means that you can’t afford your life.

6.       Always buy in bulk

I have this fear of running out of toothpaste. Specifically toothpaste. Don’t know why. Point of it is so that you have some spare cash that you can use on other things that you wouldn’t normally buy. But if you always buy small units of perishables you’ll have no flexibility in your budget.

7.       Vacations only happen when planned

I meant to go on holiday last year and it never happened because I did not plan properly in time. Going on a holiday on credit is a BIG NO! Enjoy Rewards, not INTEREST!

8.       Your weight will be different

I’ve been so many sizes in past year. I’ve finally gotten to the point where I can wear care free dresses and sometimes I can’t wear them because my hips are too massive. But that’s okay because it’s never permanent. Find a diet that’s healthy and works for you!

9.       See your family as much as possible

I think that independence means everything to me. So I haven’t been home as much as I could have been so now my Mom comes to me. She’s the only person I would visit at home so this solves that issue! But going home serves such an important purpose. It’s that breeze of fresh air that you just can’t buy.

10.   It’s okay to make mistakes

I think my mom raised me to be a perfectionist. It’s how I’ve always seen myself. But for some reason when I got to varsity I just realized that if you take the shame out of everything you can really live your life to the fullest. It’s okay not to have time, it’s okay to not see all your friends as often as you can. Sometimes we really lose ourselves in trying to get to everything. Sometimes just say NO!

Be Kind,

Evolving my Blog

Hi everyone!

I hope everyone is well! These days I’ve been thinking about starting a new blogging schedule because I’ve just posted when I had time or needed to let it out (y’all know the ones) and I recently got some extra time in my daily routine and suddenly I am having the worst writer’s block!!

But I did give me time to check in with other people’s blogs and videos and also gave me time to think about where I want to take this blog. I generally love fashion posts because those are my favourites to look/watch but unfortunately the do the worst in terms of views and buzz and that really breaks my heart. So if I could rate myself I would definitely say that I probably lack great photography skills and the right editing softwares (whichI am working on).

So when life got rough I usually felt comfortable settling into lifestyle blogging which made me really insecure because it really reveals my insecurities and I want people to feel inspired, renewed and motivated when they come to my blog. It did, however, help me grow as a person, as a girl and as an adulting woman. It definitely helped my blog grow too because people had a really good reaction to them and making people feel better about their situations is a legit real passion that I hope to turn into a career one day.

Then this year I got into beauty blogging and to be honest I really hope I doesn’t become a major part of my blog because I don’t have a real talent for it (same with DIYs) but people do amazing things with make-up and I just would not know where to start. In building a brand you have to look put together and seeing that I don’t have people who can do it for me I have to learn to do it by myself and that has also contributed to my growth as a blogger and a woman.

Overall I think that going forward you’ll be seeing a lot of evolving on my blog as I discover what I can do and what I like doing. The goal this year is definitely to grow my blog without any pressure or comparisons. The blogging world has grown so much and having a full time job plus overtime and studying part-time makes it so much harder to remain consistent and up to date with everything.

Another one of my goals is to grow my Youtube channel as me. The real me. When I watch my old videos I have this stay professional tone and that’s not me. I think that filming about things that are more me will help me stay authentic and therefore make me stay consistent because I’ll be seeing more of my personality. If you’re wondering why that hasn’t happened, I really have no answer to it. Maybe I’m a really good actress/perfectionist! But I will adjust that soon.

Another thing that makes blogging hard is how expensive it really is. The data and the softwares and all the new apps coming out makes it a bit hard. My job is basically like interning so you can imagine how much I earn and then there’s also adulting expenses that are affected by inflation and politics everyday. So it makes you get left behind in terms of getting professional help in terms of photography, editing and collaborations. For example – at this point I can not afford to use Final Cut Pro to edit because I’ll first need to get a Macbook. How much is a Macbook? Now turn that to Rand. Or using an Iphone to get the best photos in order to have the best Instagram feed. I don’t even check the prices for that!

Point is, right now blogging needs to stay just an outlet for me. Because there’s really a lot of pressure that we put on ourselves so the pressure from others is really not helping. So if you feel like you’re running out of breath and you’re spending so much on your blog without yielding the benefits – you’re not the only one. 

Take a deep breath and work a bit on your content while you live your life day by day. Remember to take breaks from social media and all the online trolls and get YOU back.

Be kind to yourself!

7 ways to unblock your mind

Hi everyone!

Omw guys I can NOT FOCUS. I’m scatterbrain af right now! I wish I can take all my thoughts and just archive them. I’ve gone from anxiety to fear to strength to worry and just silence. I adjust to change really badly and I’m REALLY trying to take everything in. Two days ago it was a public holiday and I DID NOTHING and I feel awful about it and that’s just a potentially productive day that I will NEVER get back.

Today I’ve had enough. I need to do something to get out of this rut. Hopefully I can get super organised in order to get my blood flowing again. Sometimes you can get so inspired but your body just won’t move. That is how I’ve been feeling lately. Yesterday I ran into Just a girl and her blog and I just couldn’t sit back any longer. That girl has got her life sorted! It’s time for me to get up and do something about my life.

So to decrypt my mind in order to get active I’m going to start small because being too positive can sometimes be destructive and short-lived. So it’s all about small steps.

Let’s get started:

1.       Re-visit your 2016 goals.

I think the best way to see if you’ve been productive is to see how far you are in terms of your planned goals. Because you drew the up at the height of your excitement for the year. So either put them into action and/or re-adjust your goals based on where you are and what you have.

2.       De-clutter your room

I know I’m confused if I don’t want to make my bed on purpose. If everything is cool I can totally wake up earlier and make more effort with my room and have a healthy breakfast! So get some organisational tips and make sure that your room represents a clean mind! Maybe this is just me?

3.       Plan your meals

It’s so easy to just eat everything or eat as you get hungry. And then when you finally snap out of it, your favourite kind of jeans do not fit you anymore and your face is full of zits you can’t explain. It’s important to make sure that what you put in your body will be advantageous to your attitude and daily strength.

4.       Switch things up

You’ve had the same hairstyle all year and the year is half past over! Switch it up and try other things – hair, trends, accessories, bold lippies, platform heels, etc. You cannot be like 3 day old Coke just because your days have become routine. Do something about it!!

5.       Have better control of your money

Sometimes you don’t enjoy life because you’re always worried about money. You can’t just pay bills. Therefore adjust your budget so that you can be a regular young person who can make your own decisions. Sometimes you feel stuck because you can’t afford the things you want.

6.       Be showered with encouraging words

Last night I was so inspired by our weekly homecells (will explain in another post), which is basically a midweek session of encouragement and sharing testimonies with people of my age group and I just realized that I need to snap out of it and talk positively and just fill myself through my words with courage. In other words – to FAITH UP.

7.       Execution

Plans are nothing without carrying them through. People want to be successful overnight and lately I’ve learning to be patient in the valley. Groundwork determines the amount of success you have because the strongest tree is nothing without its deepest roots. So now the hard work starts that will pay off in its own time.

Guys! 2016 is still rolling! There’s so much work to be done and so little time. Do not waste time with things that are temporary and will only disadvantage you! Build memories and legacies!

Get to work!!

How to find the source of anger/sadness

Hi everyone!

A bit to the off the cliff side today and it always helps to just talk it out sometimes. As addressed previously I have a sort of strained relationship with my brother. We have to have been adopted because I just don’t see how our genes came together because there’s just always friction between us. So along with a crapload of changes that I’ve just gone through (will tell you guys about that shortly), I’ve also decided to move in with my brother and sister.

If you know us and our history you’ll also know that this is probably the worst idea in the world but we can’t go on like this forever. So when my mom called earlier she said that if living together causes any of you distress then we should just call it a day and scatter again instead of killing each other. So in this process I have to ‘let go’ of a few things in order for this to work which is also the trigger of all my anger/frustrations.

So to rehabilitate this I’ve decided to find the sore spots and build a wall around them. You can also do this with partners when you move in together. The point of the exercise is so that you’re able to deal with things you can’t change because chances are this will always happen or will improve only around the fifth time you bring it up.

1.       Alcohol and other drugs.

In my opinion, there is literally nothing on this earth that I find as pointless as being a regular drunk. Nothing. It absolutely has no point and it’s even worse when you have no vision and you work for a monthly salary in a position that has no prospects. That job can be taken away from you at any time through retrenchments or any criminal charges (like DUIs or public intoxication). So if you work to drink then what's the point of life? There's no next level and I feel like you're just waiting around for something to happen to you. So seeing that I'm a planner and goal setter I find it next level frustrating to deal with a person who is drunk on a weekly basis and has no 5 year plan. OMW!!

-          Remedy: Let it go and do not mix it with you daily life. Let them have their own key and never say anything about it. If you rely on them and they don’t show up because they are sleeping it off then it’s time to learn how to drive(in my case) so that you can be your own person. When they are ready to quit, they will. Otherwise just go upwards and onwards. My biggest downfall that led to anger was that I cared more about his future more than he did. I cared more about the damage that he was causing to himself and all the broken relationships that came with it. If a substance hurts your family and you choose to continue with it that automatically means you choose it over your family. And they will eventually choose themselves over you too.

2.       If they are always defensive.

Omw, there is nothing that I hate more than a blanket apology because when they get used to throwing it around, it will never stop. If they are always defensive it can also mean that they don’t see what they did wrong. They will defend/justify what they did with their last breath. Some people only apologize so that you can let them in again. And when everything is quiet and just when they are at the center of your heart again, they strike. Like a vicious snake and leave you to bleed out. I've gone through this so many times and trust me it will never stop until you stop listening to the justifications and the reasons. At the end if they love you and they know what they are doing is wrong and they still do it, only to put in all their effort defending it then you are just a clock on the wall. Just ticking away till the next time they do that again.

-          Remedy: If you manage to remain calm, just occupy yourself with something productive like dishes or calling a friend about something silly to sort of get the edge off. When everything is calm again then talk about where it all went wrong and where there are areas of improvement. If that doesn’t work then depending if you can live with that or not you move on and build around it/learn to ignore. If it's a dealbreaker and they can't seem to fix it, then it's time to call it a day and move on.

3.       Dependence

One thing about troubled siblings or partners is that they always need something from you. Maybe they always want money or they always drive your car or something similar. Like clockwork, especially if you can’t say no. But then it angers you to think they can’t do something of a minimal effort for you but they always expect something significant from you. You should never feel like you're the one making the most effort. No relationship can exist if it's only one-sided because then it's destined for failure for sure! Before the most important person in your life can be the one you care about, it first has to be you. Because you can't be there for others, if you yourself are not there. So if YOU feel like you're always the one giving, it's time to speak up and let them know that it's time to pick up their socks!!

-          Remedy: Step 1 is to say no. If that’s not possible then always ask for something they owe you in order for them to get what they want because chances are that they will not be able to give it back. It’s a bit difficult to apply but will help your emotional state. Step 3 is to let the person know that it's time for them to put in a little effort. Sometimes guys can get so comfortable and take you for granted so in order to fix that you'll need to let them know that they need to treat you right or fairly(in case of brothers).

It’s quite sad when people that obviously care about each other go through a rough patch but it’s so important to not be a boiling pot because it makes you feel insane and nothing is solved at the end.

So in finding the sore spots I hope you can find the time to resolve it in a more peaceful way so that everybody can learn from each other!

Restore Peace,

SUBTLE GIFTS for someone you LIKE

Hi everyone!

So this idea came to me recently when I was talking to this stubborn guy who recently got a care package from a girl who likes him but he’s just to self-obsessed to notice which is really sad. But there are a lot of guys out there (warning-do enough research) that would actually not only appreciate the gift but will totally get the hint!

So let’s get started. First you have to know what you want you want. Or you need to know what the outcome will be or how you want the outcome to be. And second make sure that the person is not already seeing somebody. We just don’t do that. And thirdly you have to be really light-hearted about it because you have no idea how it’s going to turn out!

1.       Care packages

Even though I would strongly advice against these, with the right guy or girl it could really be a game changer. The first thing that’s super attractive in a care package is all the effort that goes into it. It can be a box or a basket and what it consists of is ultra-important because it reveals the amount of effort that it required. So it can be a combination of small treats or maybe a basket of make-up products or accessories.

2.       I think there’s nothing more personalized that souvenirs because they tell you that you were on their mind while they were away from you. Especially right before one of you makes it official. This quite tricky because they can also range from too small/generic to excessive/over the top. So depending on how long you’ve known the person and how progressive you little fling has been will determine which gift you should get or which one you can expect.

3.       Textile

I personally don’t like it if people buy me shoes or clothes mainly because I like deciding what to get by myself. And it’s quite a process. But I know some people love to see what kind of heels someone would get them or generally what’s trending that season like biker jackets or things with fringe stuff on it. I think in this regard you must really know the person’s style in order to get them the best gifts. It’s like getting them a fragrance. I like fruity/floral scents so I would like something in that range because sandalwood and cinnamon makes me feel sick. So in your time of flirting it would help to sort of project your friend’s style/preference.

4.       Practical gifts

The beauty of the flirty stage is that you’re getting to know each other. That will also actually determine if you guys like each other. Because if he’s not that into you you’ll be able to see by his lack of interest during this stage. The best thing about getting to know another person is when they seem to complain about one thing. It can be something around the house. Like lightbulbs which you can help her with or it can be how he eats steak everyday in which case you can make him an alternative meal or treat him to lunch(I choose the latter because I could use an alternative meal plan all together!

5.       Letters

I know how bad this option can be and I know there’s only 1% of guys on Earth to understand the sincerity of a written letter (also e-mails now). I don’t know what’s wrong with me but I like everything written. People say the worst things but I feel like when you write there’s no time so say bad things. Even if it’s not my friend’s thing I would want him to know that it’s my thing.

A bit of TMI with that last one but I thought it would add some personality to this list of recommendations! What do you guys think? What has been your experiences?

Love,

10 TIPS to get through a STRESSFUL week!

Hi guys!

I’m finally working from home again and I could not be more thrilled! I actually took a day off yesterday just to reset my aura! And today I was totally sleepy after lunch because I think that day off did not work! So thinking back now I truly do not how I survived 2 whole months of suitcase living but I can share some tips that I really found helpful!

I think the key (after hopelessness) is taking each day one step at a time. The was a lot of last minute changes and a lot of geographical changes that I normally would’ve found nerve wrecking but after that feeling my mind immediately went into solution mode which I really appreciate. Sometime a decision starts in the mind and your body will follow.

10 tips to get you through a stressful week

1.       Planning is so important. Not having a plan leads to you dragging your body through the week which will make that week longer. So if you have proper planning you’re able to not only take it day by day but also task by task.

2.       Break down your planning into manageable portions. Which links to the tip mentioned above. It helps you to not feel overwhelmed but helps your mind focus on one problem/section of the project at a time. Your mind feels at ease if it’s able to scratch a complete task when it’s complete.

3.       Always factor in some time for mistakes/errors. Your mind can have a fit if something goes wrong while you’re trying to manage chaos in your week. So it helps to factor in traffic, re-doing work that you might’ve messed up or did not do well. Sometimes it also helps to factor in some time for mood swings because you might work slower and might be less productive.

4.       Always be ready to handle conflicts. Recently when I was trying to remain calm there was a girl who basically decided to be ‘a difficult person’ for no reason and I even gave her an opportunity to apologize. When she did not I was so angry which normally produces moments of tears with me and I was unproductive that whole day. The next two days I was committed to ‘regrouping’ but I did not speak to her until she apologized. Point is this happens a lot and unexpectedly. The time to regroup is super important!

5.       Never abandon a good diet. Sometimes when you don’t plan meals then you’ll always be hungry. So then 2 months later you realize that you only ate bacon and white bread from KFC.

6.       Make sure you get enough rest. One week has A LOT of days so if you spend your weekend also doing something exhausting then you will burn out on a Tuesday and trust me nobody recovers when there’s 3 days left.

7.       Always factor in additional changes of scenario. When I was in Pretoria I had to go to the border of Botswana!! It was horrific but being notified in time I was able let my mind get used to it and it turned out to be a pleasant trip!

8.       Always have a 2L bottle of water. OMW. That really helped me on this trip. Even though going to the bathroom was so frustrating I never had headaches or felt that I was dehydrated. So it kept me focused and full of energy(with the help of a cup of coffee*)

9.       Discover your strengths and weaknesses. I feel like being pushed helps you discover your inner survivor. So you learn what you are good at/what you enjoy and also what you can do now that you thought you could not do before.

10.   Always make sure you’re better than the previous version of yourself. Going through something stressful you don’t really see what you’re really going through until it’s over. So at the end of a stressful task/project do not accept remaining the same. You’re stronger, wiser and most of all more qualified so take time to acknowledge your new knowledge!

Always be ready to climb the next mountain!

Love,