I’ve been out of town for 3 whole weeks now and I’m utterly exhausted. The pace is just so quick (I guess) which is bad for me because I’m still at the beginning stage where you get to know your client and their environment. I’ve had to change guesthouses because the one where I stayed had brown bedding (which might not be such a big deal but I just could not) so the new place is okay and I’m going to stay there now till end of November.
Yesterday I had the pleasure of hanging out with a friend that I met in university that I haven’t seen in a while. And you know how it starts with the ‘How have you been?’. I’ve been dreading that question for the last 3 years because it’s just always followed with such negativity. And to be quite honest I’m so tired of it. Just pure fatigue. Nobody tells you how tiring complaining can be. And so poisonous.
Yes, I do not know where my life is headed. I’m educated so that is a blessing and a privilege. And I have a job that pays the bills and also adds critical experience to my resume which is not all that bad. One thing I was completely clear about yesterday was just saying that I don’t have a 5 year plan right now and there’s so many contradictory things that I want to do in my life so I just don’t know where to start. That’s a point that we need to get to.
So today I’m going to help you say some things out loud so that your heart can make peace with it. I’m going to call them the 5 okays.
1. It’s okay to not have a 5 year plan
2. It’s okay to not have everything you want right now
3. It’s okay to not have all the answers in your20s
4. It’s okay to feel lost/confused.
5. It’s okay to withdraw
People who live their lives day to day might not get this. But people like me, who are serial planners and goal orientated, something like this is most definitely cringe-worthy. Like constantly and all day so it is not easy to get over it. It’s a process. If you can’t get your goals back in line or you don’t know what is next – this is a great place to start if it’s leaving you feeling hopeless.
Sometimes it will feel like nothing matters and that your life is basically over which should be a sign that it has been left untreated for too long. Similar to planning withdrawl. Because your plans used to give you purpose and something to look forward to so without it you feel like a drifter. A loser. And it also feels like you’re waiting for something to align again.
The point of talking about this is to enter the acceptance phase. It’s so easy to chase unicorns at this stage purely because you don’t want to go without goals/purpose. At this stage even with goals being without passion is so deadly. It’s like being retired with no post retirement plans. Or being without family during the Christmas holidays like Sandra Bullock in While you were Sleeping.
Don’t grow weary. Instead just prioritize and apply. Even if something is beyond your knowledge or it’s outside of how you’ve been trained. Always take a leap of faith atleast once or twice a year. And there’s 365 opportunities for you to add some passion/drive in your life. If something is preventing you now to be pro-active, then buckle up and see it through. Thereafter follow your dreams and passions and be happy!!
DARE TO DREAM AGAIN!!