tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-39360790070330976142024-03-08T12:27:39.689-08:00ClosetFreedomJabihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00382062370470995452noreply@blogger.comBlogger190125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3936079007033097614.post-83068399781410129232020-05-06T16:30:00.000-07:002020-05-06T16:33:20.248-07:00How to process your regrets and start over<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Hi everyone!</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYi_6l85kSYFSHFXHhAxNqURZycctYwA2yZjH5M0tOsP0gdMZxuMocCcg5gYyC06D1W8_LQBfqxKqIF5GotkO0wLzZqTA6Akq93wou-lEdyr2ZNg6LBTuakT5Km-cfFsleReoEXClptVBC/s1600/picture+js.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="800" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYi_6l85kSYFSHFXHhAxNqURZycctYwA2yZjH5M0tOsP0gdMZxuMocCcg5gYyC06D1W8_LQBfqxKqIF5GotkO0wLzZqTA6Akq93wou-lEdyr2ZNg6LBTuakT5Km-cfFsleReoEXClptVBC/s1600/picture+js.png" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Remaining too long with regret/being burdened by
failure is like being Buridan’s ass which implies a paradox that a hungry
donkey standing equidistant between two bales of hay will starve to death,
paralyzed by the indecision about which nosh to choose. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Being frozen in place or feeling stuck in life is
the worst thing for an intelligent and smart individual and it can either force
a person to act immediately and jump into a new venture, which may work out
great for them, if not, they would just move on to the next venture – it is
crucial for these individuals to keep going. But then you get the ones who
completely fall apart and based on the number of times it has happened to me,
those kinds of people are my people.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Initially I would talk to my loved ones about it but
they were both bad listeners and did not solve my problems so I needed a <u><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGurStLtC_o&t=810s" target="_blank">professional</a></u>.
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That was a very slow work in progress
but after a few sessions I realised that we are webbed in such a complicated
way from childhood and in order to understand how everything connects, one
needs to unravel a lot of things that one thought were part of what one once
deemed to be the permanent structure, but it was just something placed there
temporarily that can no longer hold you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<u><span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3kHcPRmhl9k&t=841s" target="_blank">So how do we start over</a></span></u><span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">1. Accept<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Accept that you might have made a bad decision. Call
it what it is – a stupid decision. Shame/Regret grows in secret. It becomes way
bigger than what it is. It can grow to become a full blown irrational fear.
That can grow to cause panic attacks and render you paralysed. So take it, look
it, talk to it, accept that it happened, thank it for being part of your story
(if more traumatic – turn the tragedy into a testimony or use it to serve
others that are more traumatized by it), and then release the grip it has over
you by setting it free or carrying along but this time, you are making it your
strength.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">2. Reject<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">In order to be what you aspire to be, you have to ‘kill’
who you are now. For example –if you want to be a business woman, you need to
look into ways to become healthier, more organised and more resourceful. If you
were a procrastinator before now you need to be persistent, ambitious and again
– more organised. So you need to rejects parts of you that have even become
habits in order to become a version of what you aspire to be. You need to
decide to stop doing certain things. It will be hard sometimes but that is
where you refer back to deciding what you need to become.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">3. Action<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">This part is crucial. You will NOT see any changes without
this last step. Once you have worked on the inside, it is time to take action
on the outside. You can start by having an online planner or a diary/journal.
You can set up meetings with potential clients. You prepare both positive and
negative responses. You can also sign up for that those skills you wanted to
obtain or experience you wanted to gain by doing a certain job. Action can also
take place internally like building better boundaries, choosing who your close
friends are or teaching yourself how to speak in front of a crowd.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">It is not easy to start fresh but each day really
does provide the opportunity to do so. I also think that living to meet the
expectations of peers/family is irrational just like the fear one feels during a
panic attack. Starting over might hurt if it makes your life uncomfortable for
a few months/years but it is way better than foreseeing a whole 40-50 years of predictable
unhappiness or not living the life you want because of people/reasons that are
only applicable now.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">This process can me emotional so I would recommend uninterrupted
alone time in order to focus on it and really dig into why you are where you
are mentally.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">All the best!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Love,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Jabihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00382062370470995452noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3936079007033097614.post-76687886612268409942020-05-02T02:12:00.001-07:002020-05-02T02:12:17.155-07:00Come to class with me AT HOME |Teaching from home | South African Youtuber<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/WPP0gQuSRoc" width="480"></iframe>Jabihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00382062370470995452noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3936079007033097614.post-52955288920345844352020-05-02T02:11:00.001-07:002020-05-02T02:11:21.855-07:00SA Social Issues we can't ignore<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/JLt4HJBoIS0" width="480"></iframe>Jabihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00382062370470995452noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3936079007033097614.post-39988979911141965142020-05-02T02:10:00.001-07:002020-05-02T02:10:31.479-07:00Will online teaching reach ALL South Africans?<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/_JoqfKuknmM" width="480"></iframe>Jabihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00382062370470995452noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3936079007033097614.post-57580086360942664272019-02-08T16:08:00.000-08:002019-02-08T16:08:30.913-08:00Why 2019 needs to be different<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow", sans-serif;">Hi
Everyone!</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpP96gBS8mePkhJMgKk1GUuERl6ud5ZqJjc1EF5u95kRWVnbdRiM5PKl9C6Oo57EuSM7zHtJ_vSfY0gh_bE5V5An9w3i-1orO_wpfQZ98-T7TzKa3ClOqd_ACz42cP0Bz6DQbJKTMIZW7E/s1600/IMG_8531-02.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpP96gBS8mePkhJMgKk1GUuERl6ud5ZqJjc1EF5u95kRWVnbdRiM5PKl9C6Oo57EuSM7zHtJ_vSfY0gh_bE5V5An9w3i-1orO_wpfQZ98-T7TzKa3ClOqd_ACz42cP0Bz6DQbJKTMIZW7E/s1600/IMG_8531-02.jpeg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow",sans-serif;">I hope
everyone is doing well. It has taken so much courage to write this post today.
I had reserved all of December 2018 for blogging and videos and ended up doing
neither. I did, however, film and upload some vlogmas content but it’s so far
the least watched videos on my channel, so that was a bust. So thinking of
blogging again became a distant memory and I just carried on lazying around the
house until work started in 2019.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow",sans-serif;">In a
way, I’m disappointed in myself for ‘wasting’ all that time but on the other
hand, I got to spend some real quality time with my family and nothing is
better than that. Since 2019 started I’ve been seeing a lot of people really
seeing value in themselves and hustling more than ever. I think 2018’s anxiety
& depression scare really made people wake up and realise that they’ve only
got one life and they need to make the best of it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow",sans-serif;">Personally,
I’ve had my own ‘wake up’ as well. Last year, I was riddled with guilt for
turning back on a career that I’ve spent 8 years of my life on. I was mad at
myself that I didn’t value myself enough while I was there which resulted in my
assessments not being dealt with accordingly and I also blamed myself and
regretted that I didn’t get out sooner. These days all I do is forgive myself
for this daily.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow",sans-serif;">I
completely let go of my physical value last year. I was eating A LOT of friend
chicken, lots of soda, lots of wine which ended up being lots of cocktails. I
never exercised. Then a time came where I just threw clothes on, not a care in
the world on what I looked like or how I was being perceived. I now have a lot
of cellulite on my thighs and I can’t get away with wearing short dresses (for
now). Even though I haven’t made plans yet, I feel like my mind has now come
around to accepting that I can do exercises at home.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow",sans-serif;">Work is
better this year because half my workload was given to someone else. This now
gives me more time to be present. Last year, I had to run to each and every
class and I was only half prepared for each of them. I intend to use my new
free space to be the most prepared teacher to my students because I want them
to learn as much as possible and to have good, prepared fun! LOL!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow",sans-serif;">I think
2019 has to be different for a lot of us because we’ve tried a whole bunch of
things that completely failed. Whether it’s a youtube channel, a blog, an
Instagram page, an online business, a podcast, a brand deal or a collaboration.
But, we keep going because time waits for no man. And we can’t all be
successful in everything we do. Even people we look up to know had a lot of
failed ventures before becoming what they are. Sometimes it takes expanding,
demolishing, rebranding or other techniques for an idea to work and become a
business. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow",sans-serif;">What
I’ve seen is that people are tired of letting one failure define them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow",sans-serif;">Be that
person. Try again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow",sans-serif;">Start
writing again, filming again, making those phone calls again, recruiting again
or come up with a new idea! Either way, let’s get up and go!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow",sans-serif;">With
love,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Jabihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00382062370470995452noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3936079007033097614.post-49579295184907760882019-02-08T16:03:00.000-08:002019-02-08T16:04:12.998-08:00{2018 Edit} Why South Africa is suddenly depressed?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Hi everyone!<o:p></o:p></div>
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I hope you’ve all been well. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Lately, I’ve found myself caught in these discussion about
the rise of depression cases in South Africa. Now, more so because of the death
of HHP. He’s one of the most loved hip-hop artists in South Africa and some
current rappers say that he’s been their biggest inspiration – kind of like the
godfather of hip-hip and rap in South Africa. In my house, he’s won over my
mother’s heart because she always used to go on about how there’s a lot of
Setswana humor in his music.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Right after his death, there was a lot of speculation about
the cause of his death and now it’s been alleged that he suffered from
depression and may have taken his own life. Whether it’s true or not, I think
it definitely sparked a mental health talk and I’m actually a little
disappointed about certain views we have a country.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Some people completely understand. I think it’s because it’s
suddenly okay to talk about it because you or other family members have been
secretly battling this issue. And now, it’s like a #MeToo moment. I can
personally relate – not just for myself but also my mother. Early this year my
mom was hospitalized for what seemed to be a throat issue and ended up to be
full blown anxiety/panic attacks. So everytime she would be extremely angry
(which happened more times that we realised) she would feel like her heart is
literally about to explode. We’d see it on the outside like a rapid heartbeat
motion on her neck and she would literally collapse into a sitting position and
try to breathe slowly until it passed. <o:p></o:p></div>
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After the diagnosis we got her some natural stress relief
medication and recommended some breathing exercises and it has only happened a
few times since then. We’ve also been working on addressing her anger. She gets
quickly disappointed in people because she has severe control issues that she
accepted as normal only because I still do what she says but she needed to know
that the world doesn’t owe her anything and that she needed to live for
herself. She also needed to learn not to think for other people if she’s not willing
to accept that not everyone thinks like her. She’s also had to learn to not
always carry the past with her (hardest thing ever, FYI).<o:p></o:p></div>
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So from all of this drama, I’ve also gone through major
changes myself. Not only did I change jobs, but I also changed my profession.
And it’s been really hard starting from the bottom. I think when I switched
over, I was really important to stay focused. I couldn’t always wish to go back
to my safety zone that almost killed me. I had to keep going. So I completely drenched
myself in my new work and a few weeks ago, I started having severe anxiety. Not
so much from regret, but I think reality started kicking in. The high of the
switch was wearing off. And I was feeling overwhelmed ALL THE TIME. <o:p></o:p></div>
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It started with mild crying outburst, then wine would help
sometimes, then I completely went off into the dark but always just staying
conscious to go to work and when I would get home I wold go straight to bed. It
kind of feels like this is the time my mother wanted to talk the most. My
friends felt neglected, which is funny because I could not talk to any of them
about this because (a) we’d go right back to their problems and (b) they don’t
believe in having anxiety and being depressed because they believe it be a lack
of faith.<o:p></o:p></div>
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So I kept it inside. I have to, because I can’t convince
others of a thing they don’t believe in. All I can do is seek treatment and
find a healthy outlet.<o:p></o:p></div>
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It’s very hard to find one that works, believe me!! Recently
when I felt overwhelmed, I just sat on my carpet and did an inhale and exhale
exercise. It was painful. I couldn’t breathe past my throat the whole day that
day and all I wanted to do, was to feel the air travel to my lungs and out
again. Simple right? But it felt like a mammoth task and when I eventually
could, I just wept.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Is anxiety and depression real? YES. Should it bother you
that nobody believes you? HECK NAAAA. On that one or two rare days when you
feel normal, you should seek help or at least talk about all the darkness
you’re feeling. Sometimes it can even be something you though you’ve let go of
but the feelings surrounding that particular thing haven’t been addressed. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Sometimes it’s something that makes you feel bad. Like
social media platforms that make you look at yourself as less than. Or
something at work that keeps happening and you’re not telling anyone. Family
members that are not on your side about a decision or even a person that you
are trying to change (first of all, you can’t change anyone) – you need to let
go, accept or change your view about it. We are transformed by the power of our
minds, after all.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Be nice to one another!<o:p></o:p></div>
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Thank you for reading!<o:p></o:p></div>
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Jabihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00382062370470995452noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3936079007033097614.post-8876636556557495142018-07-15T00:07:00.001-07:002018-07-15T00:07:31.937-07:00Dark & Lovely Amla Legend Deep Treatment Review<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , sans-serif;">Hi
everyone!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWC34Ucuio5sdazeg0tzRYoAS5XcAYffF2ZAmhHBrm1POTtkbFy724urV3NVkY7ClZ6LnepgMCqi2HSB3_QTT-wWPL9hDIEeJDIG2dQAQ77pMhH02UOsgJ0y4x5hHDgJLMJF2zhpa2ADFB/s1600/IMG_7250-01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1068" data-original-width="1600" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWC34Ucuio5sdazeg0tzRYoAS5XcAYffF2ZAmhHBrm1POTtkbFy724urV3NVkY7ClZ6LnepgMCqi2HSB3_QTT-wWPL9hDIEeJDIG2dQAQ77pMhH02UOsgJ0y4x5hHDgJLMJF2zhpa2ADFB/s1600/IMG_7250-01.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , sans-serif;">Long
time, no talk! Today I have a review because I just luuuurve trying new
products and I have missed reviewing them! On the hot seat today is the Dark
& Lovely Amla Legend Black Shine Recovery Deep Treatment. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , sans-serif;">I don’t
really like deep treatment serums because I don’t really see the difference in
my hair but then again the last time I tried it I had relaxed hair and I’m not
sure if that had a difference in the outcome. Or so I hope…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , sans-serif;">So, a
few days ago I decided to give it a try because I still have relaxed tips and I
was scared that the fact that I never trim it or deep treat it is the reason
why it doesn’t grow as fast. So two options arose: cut the tips yourself and
try a deep treatment.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , sans-serif;">So when
I was at Clicks a few days ago I looked around for some deep treatment options
and I decided to try the Dark & Lovely options. To try to accommodate the
process I also got the Amla Legend black shine shampoo and I absolutely loved
the thick moisture and scent. I always start with another shampoo to get the
dirt out and then go over with the Dark & Lovely oil moisturizing shampoo.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , sans-serif;">I
applied the deep treatment after the conditioner and left it on for about 10
minutes and covered it with a plastic bag(alternative to shower cap *wink
wink*) and washed it out. I don’t think I felt an immediate change because my
hair was its usual stubborn ‘self’ when I was detangling it in preparation for
air drying. I hope that with frequent use I’ll be able to see some results.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0T0vK6068WWPlXn3yoqKEQbAtUh5TzUAtkMH6zW01nupmZKNUq7qZQgIcxRCya1Bfgs9_l0humhIzIVxLE12If0Br2NfN72M2HKk8EjREl9bHjS4ybC3IRE83Tjo2UwYFH5itQkjYlM7N/s1600/IMG_7246-01.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0T0vK6068WWPlXn3yoqKEQbAtUh5TzUAtkMH6zW01nupmZKNUq7qZQgIcxRCya1Bfgs9_l0humhIzIVxLE12If0Br2NfN72M2HKk8EjREl9bHjS4ybC3IRE83Tjo2UwYFH5itQkjYlM7N/s1600/IMG_7246-01.jpeg" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEji4na1stQw2XVHp6XMy52OMjX_ri9ONZzCz1CyDDdfoeyoMxbIsdEYxMHBe0z6tqnwfpu1ebnrgytzmUcsl4-E0A4BoBQRnSFnRrcYQwipxqsK-JikmGIMDuSI8mbuRoQYxhKY9ASuC8X5/s1600/IMG_7265-01.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEji4na1stQw2XVHp6XMy52OMjX_ri9ONZzCz1CyDDdfoeyoMxbIsdEYxMHBe0z6tqnwfpu1ebnrgytzmUcsl4-E0A4BoBQRnSFnRrcYQwipxqsK-JikmGIMDuSI8mbuRoQYxhKY9ASuC8X5/s1600/IMG_7265-01.jpeg" /></a></div>
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See you on soon!!</div>
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Jabihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00382062370470995452noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3936079007033097614.post-45693077254853055552018-04-09T03:50:00.001-07:002018-04-22T00:17:37.811-07:00Am I the problem?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , sans-serif;">Hi
everyone!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHiWt9Jam-2GuXQIJHznvgBPeZNiHg-sUjzXGYCZAe9EZYAsBO8IQPZT6tcFB2srcfq5ThE3iDlWqfRAnRl2Xks0iWVz3ZVvNIiSUPRHg5CNEbhmblidQbZytDEoih3XRPYDt6wJhlYugZ/s1600/5.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="713" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHiWt9Jam-2GuXQIJHznvgBPeZNiHg-sUjzXGYCZAe9EZYAsBO8IQPZT6tcFB2srcfq5ThE3iDlWqfRAnRl2Xks0iWVz3ZVvNIiSUPRHg5CNEbhmblidQbZytDEoih3XRPYDt6wJhlYugZ/s1600/5.JPG" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , "sans-serif";">I’ve
never really been optimistic. As matter of fact, I always want to die when I
talk to someone about an actual problem (already negative and most of the time
colossal) and they spin me with the ‘it’s going to be alright’ sticker on my
forehead. That tells me that they really want me to throw them in the fountain
and walk away.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , "sans-serif";">I know
it sounds contradictory to most of my posts because I spend half of them
telling you (and me) that everything happens for a reason and how to fix your
current situation that I know too well. Today, after a failed conversation with
my mom, I started writing this post mainly to identify a problem, rather than
to fix it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , "sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , "sans-serif";">I had
difficulty sleeping last night and I had those life questions scary nights.
Where do I see myself in a year? Do I really want to get married? Am I built
for relationships? Can I really raise 6 kids? Why am I not a millionaire? Am I
still afraid of driving? Am I overloaded with other people’s problems? Why does
my blog/channel not do that well? Why don’t I like to teach myself how to make
myself pretty? Why don’t I like gyms? Why does my body hurt so much? When am I
going to die? Will my kids do what I tell them? Do I want to raise them as a
single mom? When am I getting a dog/cat? When am I renewing my license? Who
takes care of me when I run out of fuel from taking care of others? When will I
be truly happy? How will I know if I’m truly happy?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , "sans-serif";">Drama
right? I have these questions swirling in my mind, giving me heartburn! It’s not
like I have all the answers but I truly feel so drained and absolutely
exhausted! I think my brain has had the biggest crisis for the longest time.
The moment I unplug for 4 days my mind literally lost it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , "sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , "sans-serif";">In a
way I’m thankful this is happening because like I mentioned in my previous
post, this is major decisions year and it was naïve of me to think that I
will make one major decision and expect everything to fall into place. There
are so many frustrating things. I think sometimes you can get lost in all that
is happening around you and that causes RIDICULOUS PRESSURE. It’s so crucial in
this time to know exactly who you are and what exactly makes you happy. You
have to learn to switch off your mind to things you can’t change. And always
speak (repetitively) good things into your life that will help you through
those stubborn wrinkles that life gives you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , "sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , "sans-serif";">You
can get so distracted by what other people are doing and certain choices they
make. You can get so consumed with comparison. You can even spend nights awake
thinking that you are just made ‘wrong’ and that you are the only person of
your kind left on earth. You can even feel so misunderstood. By others and by
yourself. However, always do something that you are conscious of. Always own
your space. At the end of the day, only you can explain yourself to YOU.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , "sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , "sans-serif";">Don’t
let the river carry your body downstream.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , "sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , "sans-serif";">Be
present. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , "sans-serif";">God
KNOWS.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br /></div>
Jabihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00382062370470995452noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3936079007033097614.post-56826181128127697832018-04-01T06:12:00.000-07:002018-04-01T10:42:22.167-07:00Making critical decisions<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWjtd-ziOnhWayUkZcZ9qbC4y7o-bjgyI-z3wGoOTb9AH-1cm8crmm7rQGndUIXJB6b7LKpdx_EtqPK9KY3tY9Kg4if1ws-eSbInHzKgFu16uJqoO81ZYgpgTsnRYXjBfFfd6gjVmwtjxG/s1600/29415534_1945668942413207_1068088680670822400_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="538" data-original-width="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWjtd-ziOnhWayUkZcZ9qbC4y7o-bjgyI-z3wGoOTb9AH-1cm8crmm7rQGndUIXJB6b7LKpdx_EtqPK9KY3tY9Kg4if1ws-eSbInHzKgFu16uJqoO81ZYgpgTsnRYXjBfFfd6gjVmwtjxG/s1600/29415534_1945668942413207_1068088680670822400_n.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Hi Everyone!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , "sans-serif";">It’s
been exactly 3 months since my last post and almost 3 years since I felt really
excited about my life and what’s to come. Today I think I feel more than ready
to get back into blogging and the rest of my online life. So many things have
changed! People have left and there are new people. Most of the women I follow
are now moms and I would say some have had some procedures done – from boob
jobs to fixing their teeth! What a time to be alive!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , "sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , "sans-serif";">Recently
I realized that I’ve creatively starved myself for so long and it’s so hard to
get back into the groove. I think I’ve had tunnel vision for the longest time
so it’s so hard to figure out where to start. I’m going to let you guys in on
some changes. I’ve moved back home and got a new job. I’ve also sold my car
(It’s been a year now) which still makes me an amateur driver and my mom won’t
let me drive her car. My brother also moved back home which is driving me
insane because we can only get along properly long distance. And my adopted
sister is still in school which means that I share my room with her which is
unacceptable at my age because I’m really missing out on night shift calls!
LOL!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , "sans-serif";">So how
did we get here? All I can say is that we’ve had to make some critical choices
and that’s what the rest of my life is going to be about. That is being
deliberate. I’ve spent way too much time letting the river drag my corpse down
to an unknown place. I want to be deliberate and even more specific about why
I’m here. I’ve always wanted to travel but it always ended up no further than
my wishlist and I’ve always wanted to be socially involved and I guess I get to
do that with what I do know. I’ve also always wanted to be financially
independent and I’ve made some hard choices that will hopefully help me get
there. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , "sans-serif";">Here’s
the thing about critical decisions – they are never easy. Especially if you are
a low risk person like me. You always want to make the right choice and never
want it to have any consequences. I think this time around I really believe
that ‘you do your best and God does the rest’ because of the way certain things
happened - it just can’t be a coincidence! It’s all about that ‘off a cliff’
moment, when you know that God will catch you. You also have to allow change
into your life. It might not be upward(or what others would consider upward);
it could be a curve or a turn to the left that will eventually go up. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , "sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , "sans-serif";">I’ve
always considered the 20’s to be learning years. It can be intimidating
when your peers or friends already know what they want but I really believe in
that small voice. You always heard it when you chose the ‘wrong’ thing, it will
eventually steer you toward the right thing because it has that peace factor
that you can’t replace or find anywhere else no matter how far you look. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , "sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , "sans-serif";">Life
is a precious gift. This has been said a thousand times! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , "sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , "sans-serif";">This
time, treat it like one.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgpMEiiEjYiCRmpOK_KTpTrP-ysWKgs_HvwyBg-I7QMelJKXd5H0NvSGhM3KIR8OGz3wPyla1zMxPgjV5Aqe3wEUjQbyKvxaEaI8T2BLUKnDJePYt_Upx1nz-xDso40bzUMSqpxVmEouc_/s1600/29401899_541505102915678_3788194707356516352_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="426" data-original-width="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgpMEiiEjYiCRmpOK_KTpTrP-ysWKgs_HvwyBg-I7QMelJKXd5H0NvSGhM3KIR8OGz3wPyla1zMxPgjV5Aqe3wEUjQbyKvxaEaI8T2BLUKnDJePYt_Upx1nz-xDso40bzUMSqpxVmEouc_/s1600/29401899_541505102915678_3788194707356516352_n.jpg" /></a></div>
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Jabihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00382062370470995452noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3936079007033097614.post-86992156703616619552017-12-31T01:32:00.001-08:002017-12-31T01:32:41.040-08:00What was 2017 though?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow", sans-serif; text-align: left;">Hi everyone!</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyQT3mUgxbxpwB3SZdrVaY8Jxji4QQa_kAhk36s85n9dC6RWnubifBSjO_1WVRlI_mUvLpEJnTXImcRpuNch1VQcznM-I7iZpcyTmctqZWahoKhrE0sFCmF2q3iJgEyM6DDq_TagKBeQiE/s1600/sanp+3.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="537" data-original-width="806" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyQT3mUgxbxpwB3SZdrVaY8Jxji4QQa_kAhk36s85n9dC6RWnubifBSjO_1WVRlI_mUvLpEJnTXImcRpuNch1VQcznM-I7iZpcyTmctqZWahoKhrE0sFCmF2q3iJgEyM6DDq_TagKBeQiE/s1600/sanp+3.JPG" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow","sans-serif";">I feel
like I kind of knew 2017 was going to suck before it started. Admitting that,
is probably the saddest thing to ever
come out of me. I was looking toward a hard year and all I thought of was that
the only thing I needed to do, was to survive. And it started going badly the
first week already and I deeply depressed by the end of January.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow","sans-serif";">I can
barely remember each day. All that I can recall is waking up, doing my best to
not crack down at work and getting home to my lover – Insomnia. After a while I
started having a glass of wine more frequent than I can remember so that I can
fall asleep and not be hooked on sleeping pills – again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow","sans-serif";">I
definitely put my body through the most. I had a lot of takeaways and never
planned my meals. I would eat after 10pm. I would never walk or do any form of exercise.
I completely stopped caring about my appearance. I was completely dehydrated at
one stage because I never drank water during the day or in the morning like I
used to do. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow","sans-serif";">My
family also went through a lot of ups and downs and most days were about us all
not cracking down and falling apart. We had to adjust to a lot. And accept not
having certain things that we are used to. We definitely talked less, however I
think that worked in our favour because we all knew what we were going through
so we remind each other? We definitely spent more time apart because we could
not afford to see each other as often.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow","sans-serif";">I was
dealing with first hand debt issues. Don’t
know how other people dealt with this as students! After I sold my car I had a
lot of debt and I had to cut back on everything! I still am. On the other hand –work
was such a nightmare. I just realized that I’m wasting my time and I’m always
ill for no reason. Through this issue, I had to learn how to deal with anxiety.
I have a huge fear of the unknown and it is horrible for me to always worry if
tomorrow will be okay. If I will be able to persevere. If I will endure. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow","sans-serif";">I
definitely tired a lot of things but one thing I realized that is that you can
always wrap a problem up nicely but at the end of the day it’s still there. In
most cases, I would actually be okay for a couple of days and then have a bad weekend.
I hated being in conversations where people were discussing their future plans
and things they were proud of. Which caused me to spend a lot of time on my own
which basically added to the anxiety.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow","sans-serif";">Through
all of this I definitely grew stronger, It might not be academically or in work
experience but definitely In my mental state. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow","sans-serif";">And
all my hope came from this one scripture I would always repeat::<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow","sans-serif";">Phil 4:6 – ‘Do not worry about
anything, but instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank
Him for ALL that he has done’<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow","sans-serif";"><br /></span></i></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow","sans-serif";">It’s
so easy to get lost in what you don’t have or what has not happened to you but
never waste another second worrying about it. It will turn you into someone
you can’t even recognize and that will just make your journey so much harder.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow","sans-serif";">Join me on <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeyayrzMU-EiPsbZuXY-HmQ" target="_blank">my channel</a> where I will be having a conversation about this so that it can be more interactive! </span></div>
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Jabihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00382062370470995452noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3936079007033097614.post-87518763771144667562017-12-23T12:56:00.001-08:002017-12-23T12:56:46.725-08:00Tutorial - How I air dry my hair |South African Youtuber |Natural 4c Hai...<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Vc-7dTMgeyA" width="480"></iframe>Jabihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00382062370470995452noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3936079007033097614.post-9155812312372371902017-12-14T10:51:00.001-08:002017-12-14T10:51:09.381-08:00My 1st FULL Sew-in | No leave out | For Beginners<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/HnRlJcQeuxk" width="480"></iframe>Jabihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00382062370470995452noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3936079007033097614.post-42796755760049881732017-10-16T13:24:00.002-07:002017-10-16T13:37:01.629-07:00Quality Time with Family<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I’ve been feeling awesome lately! I’ve been so
stoked to share my family reunion story this year! Last year was so awful
because I was stuck in the Northern Cape during the time of our reunion last
year! That really bummed me out! Seeing my family is the highlight of the year!
So you can imagine how awful it was to not be with my crew for a whole year!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Earlier this year we went to our <a href="http://closetfreedom.blogspot.co.za/2017/05/a-traditional-family-wedding.html" target="_blank">family wedding</a>
and it was amazing even though I wasn’t feeling fresh at the time! I had a
really low self-esteem (still feel like that at times) and I was so confused
about my life and my career. It still feels frustrating at times but I’ve just
been having better days. Travelling there was a complete nightmare. My mom
hates driving long distance so we always have to take a bus. The bus from
Mozambique is always so crammed and disorganized therefore that leg of the trip
is a freakin’ nightmare! But once we were headed to the Free State it was so
much better. Mom and I even got into a fight about the family reunion that I’m
(I’ll repeat I’M) in charge of for 2019!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">How beautiful is this?</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When we got there we basically had enough time to
do catch ups and planning for the ceremony on Saturday. This year I was part of
the organizing committee for the first time so there were a lot of things to do
that I had no idea of! My aunt and cousin did such a good job and I was so
blessed to have them in my team as they did the most of the heavy lifting. We
normally put together a tent, organize music, get the food ready and keep the
programme light and easy. Most of the time EVERYONE cries because we consist
mostly out of women and we are sooooooo emotional!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Brother & Mom</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPuAAk-ORIPgFyTDMEt9PQu92PpmcgWU70yNfGo2KTCbzw0RGRhP6PH83Q8oIVgKkx7l2Ry0bmFX1H4F_INnDyfNZqZdqaCeWePKcxR1N_pYheMPAlHnqlNJtUIkFvPTBCkKS-Hb6HFiL8/s1600/IMG_5253.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPuAAk-ORIPgFyTDMEt9PQu92PpmcgWU70yNfGo2KTCbzw0RGRhP6PH83Q8oIVgKkx7l2Ry0bmFX1H4F_INnDyfNZqZdqaCeWePKcxR1N_pYheMPAlHnqlNJtUIkFvPTBCkKS-Hb6HFiL8/s1600/IMG_5253.JPG" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Lovely hair decor!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzNG5vEZ710O_XF07ycrjduBCwQZTdsQzoYLcohugWwSVTtpgVccYg8jBm3N_N2oD0zXlIIAtb6dKELVx56b53TXWe_eO4A9MNl2g-eEfDyEHQfgpFyBOUg-Ou_ryjsUMWjs52v4WznDmh/s1600/IMG_5011.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzNG5vEZ710O_XF07ycrjduBCwQZTdsQzoYLcohugWwSVTtpgVccYg8jBm3N_N2oD0zXlIIAtb6dKELVx56b53TXWe_eO4A9MNl2g-eEfDyEHQfgpFyBOUg-Ou_ryjsUMWjs52v4WznDmh/s1600/IMG_5011.JPG" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Family Identity & wonderful gifts from my aunt! </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />Basically this year I feel like we had a lot of
healings. We all go through hard times. Like hard, hard times. And I think we’ll
all agree that no matter what happens, time with family is time with family. We
all walk away inspired. Or feeling a little better about our situation at home.
Our health has improved so much over the years and I think it has a lot to do
with being super happy. We just feed off of each other and we all come back the
following year stronger and just further in life. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%;">If there are obstacles stacked against a group of
people to not meet up – it’s us. We are not financially stable, we don’t always
get along & we don’t have enough resources to keep up with the world but we
ALWAYS make it our priority to come together! So if there’s something to take
away from this post is to always prioritize RELATIONSHIPS above anything! It’s
the one thing nobody can buy and no-one can take away!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Lead with Love!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 115%;">xx<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Jabihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00382062370470995452noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3936079007033097614.post-50243461351648966382017-10-08T05:40:00.001-07:002017-10-08T05:56:48.421-07:00Changing your reality<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , sans-serif;">Hi
everyone!</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiihKpsS5_DdhX5aKLm24JNhF5nLYQMqTn2jobJlUPbToBagSQx0AZSKd78WDAykGPUc8ZfCAtE5fy0ZKmGO7-6dpYFpmQL-Jxp-Mj1eJedTnvAea-lV8QESp56VNvWyoZZ9tHNkLhY5KtK/s1600/IMG_4685%25282%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1068" data-original-width="1600" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiihKpsS5_DdhX5aKLm24JNhF5nLYQMqTn2jobJlUPbToBagSQx0AZSKd78WDAykGPUc8ZfCAtE5fy0ZKmGO7-6dpYFpmQL-Jxp-Mj1eJedTnvAea-lV8QESp56VNvWyoZZ9tHNkLhY5KtK/s1600/IMG_4685%25282%2529.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , "sans-serif";">September
is basically birthday month for ALL my friends. Seeing that we’re so far away
from each other this year I decided to dig up some old videos and photos from
varsity and share it on our Whatsapp group. LOL! They freaked out so much. And
we just laughed because we really did have good times. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , "sans-serif";">It
also made me realize how much time has gone by. Next week is our 8<sup>th</sup>
annual family reunion and this is my 3<sup>rd</sup> year in the working world.
I feel like going into an emotional fit because exactly 3 years ago I told my
family that Auditing & Accounting is not a good career for me. I remember
them being really tense about it. It wasn’t an easy decision for me to make
because I had just finished up my 5<sup>th</sup> year at university that time
but I remember being so relieved that I came to that conclusion.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , "sans-serif";">You
guys know the story but fast forward to 3 years later, I’ve never felt this
depressed in my life. My blog became a place where I shared all the
frustrations and a quick fix guide to ‘getting it together’. To be quite honest
that really helped me because I would be completely depressed if I didn’t have
an outlet for all the negativity. I also feel like I’ve had the most breakdowns
than I’ve ever had in my life. Surviving them, only to be brought back into the
same situation is the worst thing to ever happen to me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , "sans-serif";">A few
days ago my friend called me in the morning and asked me what I was up to and
if I’m alright. At this point in my life – I truly hate that question. The
answer is no and please don’t ask me why because the answer is the same. It
also brought up the topic of good days and bad days. I’m never okay but I have
a job and bills therefore I can’t lie in bed and not get out. When I tried
doing that legally, I got a written warning because we’re short staffed and we
have a lot of work. So then I don’t have a choice. It’s either I quit or
continue to do a job I despise.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , "sans-serif";">Right
now all the stress eating and a lack of self-care is showing. I feel so heavy
and tired all the time. I never wear make-up to work because I always need to
‘make it’ through the day rather than have a normal work day. I spend my
weekend indoors because I’m avoiding to much contact because people who want to
catch up have actual stories while I’m still unhappy about my life. These days
I’m unhappy with myself. I’m ruining me.
I no longer invest in myself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , "sans-serif";">Days
can go by without me actually knowing what’s happening. I always have deadline
upon deadline and the job is getting harder and harder. Worst part is that I
need to be fully awake. There are so many changes in my career and I always
need to know how it affects my client. And I really couldn’t care less. This
makes my contribution worthless. It also makes me the weakest link because the
public relies on the work I do and the fact that I never thought about it in
that till now absolutely scares and depresses me even more.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , "sans-serif";">Here’s
the point (because I can’t stop talking about this): No matter how positive you
try to be, you can’t cover unhappiness. You can push a boulder up the mountain
but it will only get there if the motive is beneficial for you/result will work
in your favour. If not, then the boulder will, if not immediately, eventually
crush you. And that’s my life. Mornings are the hardest. I have a second when I
have to ponder if my job is worth it. I have to think about all the wrong
decisions taken that lead me to this point. And I wouldn’t wish that even on
the worst person on this earth.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , "sans-serif";">It’s
why it’s important to always revisit the questions: What is my purpose on this
Earth? What am I doing? And who am I doing it for? Walking away might not be in
the cards but it’s always so important to use all your available time to keep
telling yourself that you have purpose and that you are deserving of a way out
and that you will not always be drowning in your own sorrow.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , "sans-serif";">Change
your free time. Make sure that you don’t spend it crying about what you hate
doing!! See if that works!!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial narrow" , "sans-serif";">xx</span></div>
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Jabihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00382062370470995452noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3936079007033097614.post-89260937892843443752017-08-30T14:22:00.001-07:002017-08-30T14:22:15.144-07:00Get Ready with me ~ Unplaiting my braids, Life Update, New Content & Mor...<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/fRD_odzOHRg" width="480"></iframe>Jabihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00382062370470995452noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3936079007033097614.post-37359648395937027082017-08-28T15:27:00.002-07:002017-08-28T15:27:26.002-07:00How to Keep Going!!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Hi everyone!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgl2dx6ZwnDcJ86_BZuU0eFrbzGZMyar_PHpiu8TcV9b1Z11SjAAQ9CTS9xw9zm-fHvHjcL7ENYpeOCZrwb5-AB7Y6g_OIteRo2qssGnOD7OlYRc7RqMzlqO_iSDqp6CjboY6XH7ynXM2t0/s1600/IMG_4677i.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1106" data-original-width="1600" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgl2dx6ZwnDcJ86_BZuU0eFrbzGZMyar_PHpiu8TcV9b1Z11SjAAQ9CTS9xw9zm-fHvHjcL7ENYpeOCZrwb5-AB7Y6g_OIteRo2qssGnOD7OlYRc7RqMzlqO_iSDqp6CjboY6XH7ynXM2t0/s1600/IMG_4677i.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When the year started I had some specific goals. I
create them based on being optimistic. Based on the state of mind that the
sheet is clean and I can use my imagination to its fullest extent. I normally
don’t spend New Year’s with my family because I spend that time reflecting on
the year, thinking about what I could have done differently, all the blessings
gained and lessons learned. I also think a lot about where I didn’t value
myself like I should have and then based on that decide what I need to cut out
of my life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">This year everything started out really bad but I
was determined to make it work despite the steep way up I was facing just to
get to an equilibrium. This year I really wanted to focus on my blog and
channel and also spend more time with my friends before all the wedding and
baby season starts. I managed to keep up with some friends but not the ones
living far away and my blog and channel have been on a standstill. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Somewhere around February my phone just stopped
working which made my Instagram feed die and we all know it’s pointless to keep
the blog up without being able to share it on social media. I only got a new
phone last week and now I have no material and it’s winter here which means
that the only daylight I get is on Saturday where I normally sleep in and let
the sunrise wake me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">If I could tell you all the other things, you
would really think that I’m caught in a ring with 6 punchy Mike Tysons beating
me up when all I tried to do was get an autograph. I’m only not telling you
because I don’t want to give it power. That’s actually what motivated me to
write about it. I’ve become so bottled up and distracted by other people that I
haven’t been focused on my needs and where I was lacking. Distractions are good
but not to the point where you wake up Monday and go to sleep on a Saturday
night. That’s what happened to me in April and May. I barely remember it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It’s hard to be in state of survival but it can
make you stronger and help you to differentiate between significant and
insignificant. I care about everything.
I’m like a mental hoarder so you can imagine how hard this process has been for
me, but there’s nothing like extreme cases of incidents that have happened that
has really helped me to put things more into perspective.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><u><i>Today, I’m sharing 5 key things that helped and
can help you:</i></u><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><i><b>A small prayer.</b></i> During this time it’s very easy to
be convinced that God is not on your side. Especially when a bad thing happens
ON TOP of SEVERAL bad things that were already too hard for you to deal with.
I’m always comforted when I say: Lord, I know that You are working behind the
scenes for my good/favour. Or that the path before me has already been paved
and blessed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><i><b>Roll out of bed.</b></i> During this time it was hard for
me to be a morning person. So every day I would roll out and be awake only
after I’ve bathed. Atleast through this, I will go to work rather than call in
sick which I used to do quite a lot last year.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><b><i>Focus on your immediate deadline. </i></b>This will help
your mind create a narrow vision and help you forget all the things you can’t
control. The only con is that you will not be able to focus on your passions
because your mind is only on work. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><b><i>Take walks with anyone.</i></b> Staying indoors made the
room feel smaller. So whenever someone would visit I’d make them take walks
with me so that I can let the tension escape in the air.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><b><i>Drink wine</i></b>. I’m the last person to suggest this
but during this time I had a hard time sleeping. When I was in school I used to
have sleeping tablets but I did not want to use those anymore so on Fridays I
would have some popcorn and wine and have a really good night’s rest. During
the week I would just pass out because of the late hours and ridiculous amount
of work so it really helped on those early nights!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Everybody has different challenges but one thing
we have in common is 24 hours and limited resources that we have to use wisely
in order for us to make it!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">You can make it!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Jabihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00382062370470995452noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3936079007033097614.post-83290729742577518222017-08-16T15:22:00.002-07:002017-08-16T15:22:56.404-07:00Passing Feelings<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Hi everyone!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBQ88JTcvHjcGXRdm54H1B0kpzdCYHuMYswemXqofm5VwXseSkvhK9WWwNJgd6XIv9NXL40XmGBt4rSExi4qzllXGWYmDLBAEFsIoPesXbr8SO1ZDZ72HrU1FwB03QP3VIqQbcmRik1YsV/s1600/IMG_20170804i_161815_046.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1436" data-original-width="1600" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBQ88JTcvHjcGXRdm54H1B0kpzdCYHuMYswemXqofm5VwXseSkvhK9WWwNJgd6XIv9NXL40XmGBt4rSExi4qzllXGWYmDLBAEFsIoPesXbr8SO1ZDZ72HrU1FwB03QP3VIqQbcmRik1YsV/s1600/IMG_20170804i_161815_046.jpg" /></a></div>
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The past two days have definitely been trying times
days. I’m mentally, physically and
spiritually exhausted. I try to put myself back together in some hours but it’s
short-lived because I’m carrying so much and limited in so many areas. It really takes a lot for me to try and not
notice what’s going on but it kills me to do that as I’ve always thought of myself as a person that really lives and not just
exists.<o:p></o:p></div>
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So on what happened. Yesterday two of my new colleagues told
me that I speak in a disrespectful manner to the Director. Naturally, I tried
to explain to them that I’ve been talking that casual to him ever since I
started there and he’s never told me that I was out of line (well, except one
time when I was upset that the client we were assisting were awful to us and he
basically said that I needed to take that back and just eat it up). Their way of
speaking to him is basically to avoid all humor and nod and smile. I don’t do
that with anyone. I would not even know how to do that!<o:p></o:p></div>
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So I called my friend and because she knows me she
understood where I was coming from and basically told me not to change to fit
into someone’s definition of being respectful. My mom said the same thing. Mom also
asked me to ask them to demonstrate what that 'respectful behavior' would look like. Lol! I
also spoke to this other friend who was going through a hard time trying to
find another job. Ended up spending the entire night motivating her to keep
trying, so by the time I slept I felt better about what happened.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Then literally the next day I’m faced with other office
drama that basically crippled my day after my lunch order wasn’t processed, after I
spent a whole hour waiting for it. It even got to a point where I felt like I
needed to resign. I have no idea why I’m so emotionally sensitive and it just
feels like hard work to make each day work. The past weekend could also be
playing a role as I tried to do a lot of things over two days and I could just
be exhausted. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Point is that I’m writing this post after realizing how
emotionally drained we can become of something that momentarily affects you. I
never thought I could get over a bad mark in high school or an embarrassing
event at university and right now it feels like what happened today will affect
the rest of my life. But in a few months (or even tomorrow) it will be nothing more than something
that happened that has nothing to do with me as a person. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I used to get severe heartburn when something like this
would happen. I wouldn’t be able to function on anything else and I would spend
hours replaying it. It’s currently happening now and I want more than anything
to be in control of my mind and just make it stop. And sometimes it takes you
saying: <i>‘I will not let this consume me’</i> and actually going as far as doing
something productive in the time you would have wasted going around in circles
about it. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I actually <i>(and finally)</i> downloaded my study material in
order to get started with my assignments due on Monday and when that went
slowly I decided to write this post and I’m going to try and study again after
completing it. Not because I’m strong or persistent, but because I need to keep
growing and keep evolving and I need to keep in mind that life is long. What
would I look like if I became consumed with other people’s view of me all the
time or how they feel about me. If you live the best life
possible, without having to step on someone else to achieve that, there’s nothing
stopping you from being you!<o:p></o:p></div>
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Never waste time! <o:p></o:p></div>
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Love you!<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
Jabihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00382062370470995452noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3936079007033097614.post-65462751864636557122017-08-03T05:18:00.000-07:002017-08-04T10:49:58.600-07:00Down but Not Out<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Hi everyone!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-hZEE7ogQIRARmuvsEWlxzmh9FXqNCyIGAUX6Qd0Z5f-6k1xrX2gYfhS6PtWtVBxx10I8Fj_-qAxebXRfjsOQTksxqrg9ggskx6gFEkImmPxh0PA5DHnV4Pk-raQNqlJImW6nKPJB-9if/s1600/IMG_4650I.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-hZEE7ogQIRARmuvsEWlxzmh9FXqNCyIGAUX6Qd0Z5f-6k1xrX2gYfhS6PtWtVBxx10I8Fj_-qAxebXRfjsOQTksxqrg9ggskx6gFEkImmPxh0PA5DHnV4Pk-raQNqlJImW6nKPJB-9if/s1600/IMG_4650I.jpg" /></a></div>
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I’ve been in such a spiral since January started. 2017 truly
feels like an uphill battle where all the victories are short-lived. It really
feels like no matter what I do, the paw-paw keeps hitting the fan and at this
point it’s kind of pointless to clean up the mess. Currently I’m on leave for
about 8 days that I desperately needed and I’ve spent about 5 of those days
just going through the motions and properly addressing my feelings.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I think I’m ready to go back to work. I actually went awol
because our firm is just so unfair in terms of how they treat us and there’s
basically nothing you can do about it. So when I feel overwhelmed I just
disappear and go offline until I feel better.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I’ve been looking at how I’ve just completely gone off the
radar on my blog and channel. Youtube, especially because I’ve been trying to
get a better lens since last year and I haven’t been in a good space to buy it.
I’ve also been having extremes – emotionally. Which affected my writing and
filming because I just felt bad about myself and my life in general. On some
days when the sun would shine again, I would just soak that in by taking a walk
or going out with a friend I’ve neglected.<o:p></o:p></div>
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If you know me, you’d know that I don’t believe in mood
swings. Mostly because I wasn’t allowed to have any. When I started puberty my
mom basically told me that I wasn’t allowed to be sour just because I was going
through a natural thing. My mom is pretty controlling so if you know her, this
would sound perfectly normal, LOL! So during this time of intense stress it was
just better for me to retreat rather than be unhappy in public. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I’ve been thinking about how to make my blog mainstream and
‘commerciable’. I like talking about different things and I did not want to
make it one thing so I made my channel more lifestyle with my name on it but I
realized during this time that I like being under an alias or a brand that will
represent me so changing all the banners is truly daunting but needs to be done
in order to ‘continue from here’. I no longer want to go under ‘ClosetFreedom’
because it’s one of those things where looking back was good, but now you’re
like ‘what were you thinking?’!<o:p></o:p></div>
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I want something that can represent my soul and my beliefs.
Currently I truly feel kind of damaged and under intense strain so that is
affecting this process. I also want to factor in my love for communication and
helping people to be more understanding and open. It’s probably the only thing
I loved doing this year. I got my results from the first semester yesterday and
it went well with 2 out of the 3 subjects, which made me realize that I need to work
harder and learn to prioritize better.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I’m excited going into the second half of the year even
though it’s already August but I truly can not live my life without hope. I
have to believe that I’m being battered in order to be able to handle something
worse than this, hopefully very far in the future because I could seriously use
a break this year!<o:p></o:p></div>
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Can’t wait to share my thoughts and views with you guys for
the rest of 2017! <o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkgKE-5TbFqXYX1Mv4mgfxKXXR45KDom2G6hKa0gVui-F0A52AHhSyJNIBSQ-wmKs28Au0nwe0Cr8RH6KxV6dNAaQ7WbK6hUuiZZ0kUE9qalaNv5VJY0ICINrj8jlAVgNBVM_kIxl__qal/s1600/IMG_4626I.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkgKE-5TbFqXYX1Mv4mgfxKXXR45KDom2G6hKa0gVui-F0A52AHhSyJNIBSQ-wmKs28Au0nwe0Cr8RH6KxV6dNAaQ7WbK6hUuiZZ0kUE9qalaNv5VJY0ICINrj8jlAVgNBVM_kIxl__qal/s1600/IMG_4626I.jpg" /></a></div>
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Stay blessed!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
XX</div>
</div>
Jabihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00382062370470995452noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3936079007033097614.post-91943377384829098452017-06-12T12:31:00.000-07:002017-06-12T12:33:10.545-07:00Hello June<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Hi everyone!<o:p></o:p></div>
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It’s been a minute! As we speak I’m sitting in front of a
heater trying to keep warm. Nelspruit has NEVER been this cold. Last year I got
a fan heater and barely used it. This year has been pretty interesting. I
haven’t even gotten used to say that I’m 25 because I barely got time to
celebrate it but things are definitely looking up, finally!<o:p></o:p></div>
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I always feel like I have to careful about what I share
online now but like I’ve said before – my channel and blog is all about being
open because I tend to be closed off and I started my blog because I didn’t
want to be that way anymore. You guys know that every year is hard for me and
I’ve always sort of had a meltdown about it. This year, however, it has gone
quite a bit weird.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I bought a car last year and having it was quite hard. I was
super scared of driving so if I could walk rather than drive, I would walk. And
I never went to work with it because it would force me to drive my colleagues
around and the reimbursements for that were never guaranteed. And before long I
was forced to sell it in order to get my financials back on track.<o:p></o:p></div>
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So in December I had to kick out my brother because he was
never reliable and he always put his friends before his family. And when the
time came for them to do the same they kicked out like day old turkey which was
a good opportunity for a <i>lesson learned</i>
for him. So then no matter how much I advertised I did not get someone to fill
his room by January so the whole month’s rent was on me which was really
devastating. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Then I tried to survive from that and got someone in
February but finances still kicked my butt because my family lived with me for
5 months and in that time I maxed out my credit card. A definite bad call and
also filed under Lesson Learned. So then I finally sold my car but had a 20k
shortfall on it which was the best deal I could get at the time. That hard time
also taught me a lot about cars. Now by this time I’d been trying to sell it
since February. It finally happened in April and I had to survive the rest of
the month with the installment of the car already subtracted from my account.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Then at the end of that month I had to go to my cousin’s
wedding that I only found out about in March that I couldn’t miss. Fortunately
my mom was able to secure some cash on credit so that she can save me on the
car and that also allowed me to go to the wedding. Then I was able to pay her
since then sort of half of what my car’s shortfall was worth seeing that my
contract ends in January (So I can only afford to make payments till January).
So that’s what I’ve been doing since end of April.<o:p></o:p></div>
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During this time I’ve had additional issues. I haven’t been
going to church, both my phones stopped working and I’ve become a total
pessimist. My channel has been on a standstill and I was just not able to talk
about it because I was trying not to be a mess in order to function properly at
work and to appear normal which is of great personal growth to me. I normally
crack at the first sign of a problem. And only fix it months later. I also had
assignments and exams during this time and had great marks but I haven’t had
money to pay tuition in order to see if I’ve passed or not but that will also
get solved in the time when it does.<o:p></o:p></div>
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My biggest lesson in all of this is definitely to calm<i> the f</i>
down. I’m always like a champagne bottle when it’s opened. I always run over.
But now I’ve had to be okay with things I can’t change. For example – I’ve
always wanted to learn how to highlight and contour. But without the proper
funds and ‘good debt’ I’ve had to put it on hold for a year now. I’ve learned
how to do my own hair and be okay with not shopping for clothes. My bedroom has
looked the same for the past 2 years and I’ve had to be okay with that too. If
you know how much I like décor you’d know how much of a slow burn that is for
me. So basically I’ve just had to be okay with basics. I haven’t done that
since the first few months of varsity in 2010!!<o:p></o:p></div>
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IT’S OKAY.<o:p></o:p></div>
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That’s become my 2 most spoken words. They save my life
every day.<o:p></o:p></div>
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They can do the same for you!<o:p></o:p></div>
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One day at a time,<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
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Love<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
Jabihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00382062370470995452noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3936079007033097614.post-56530107521519929822017-05-08T02:02:00.000-07:002017-05-08T02:02:02.122-07:00A Traditional Family Wedding<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Hi Everyone!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8W8V57rjAqNjfsJETeOAFGWFPnJD528uHyJ7zYCM8WTMEu-m295-KS_fB7KPSdkvM0gdCR_lX4FpWRPXzZaAuhyphenhyphenfTogcpqxkDUUSfQVKLqnSzKxEiFswoYPV4F-PhTXdTaRexQvrPYcSG/s1600/IMG_4138i.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8W8V57rjAqNjfsJETeOAFGWFPnJD528uHyJ7zYCM8WTMEu-m295-KS_fB7KPSdkvM0gdCR_lX4FpWRPXzZaAuhyphenhyphenfTogcpqxkDUUSfQVKLqnSzKxEiFswoYPV4F-PhTXdTaRexQvrPYcSG/s1600/IMG_4138i.jpg" /></a></div>
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I just came back from my cousin’s wedding in the Free State! Gosh, I was soooo tired that I just climbed in bed when I got back and even had
to take a day off in the week. I was, however, quickly restored because I’ve
been on such a ‘happy high’ because I had a fantastic time catching up with my
extended family!<o:p></o:p></div>
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So my cousin had a traditional wedding with a twist I guess
(it’s becoming a trend in my family now) and all my family members looked
absolutely amazing! The bride wanted the wedding to have a blue ‘<i>shweshwe</i>’ theme which really came together on the wedding day. My mom and I also like to edge it up and give it that modern lady
look and I actually love how it turned out. <o:p></o:p></div>
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So we left Wednesday night because we were travelling by
bus. I was actually super tired because I had a full work day and a bit of
overtime that day and had to catch the bus at 11:30pm. We were stuck at Park
Station for a while and it was ridiculously cold. I had one handbag and a
camera bag with a little blanket (because I was wearing leggings) so that I
could use it on my legs if it got cold and had to give it to my mom because she
was wearing a denim jacket. I’ll repeat: A DENIM JACKET.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Fast forward to a thousand years later, we finally arrived
and literally every member of my family rocked up and I was so happy to see
them. I even got to meet a few relatives that I haven’t seen in a while. So my
favourite part of the wedding was definitely decorating the venue with the
bride and taking all the behind the scenes photos because it helped me to
interact with people and capture the best moments.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Mom and I had our outfits made at home so it was relatively
affordable and I definitely loved how it came together with the head wrap. The
shoes ended up looking bomb with this dress but it was truly not planned
because those are the only black shoes I own (other platforms would have been
too slippery) that my feet were going to be able to manage to walk in a
mountainous structure.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<o:p> </o:p><span style="text-align: center;">What do you guys
think of the wedding outfits?</span></div>
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xx</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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Jabihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00382062370470995452noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3936079007033097614.post-36736011204432368812017-04-23T11:12:00.001-07:002017-04-23T11:12:43.831-07:00Flirty Florals<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Hi everyone!!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVAxWwNC3PCNCVX_W7oF7AuTQBgj6lWd7dJDLOL7zdd_qwKpgbGRXGkG024Ue3XyH2oyYAQN4FIbD9om2S1mNqJqX0nYkPMuQTdZgK4rURB7pEtv2rD01mRKs73hfVJdDke7ziDWI_WDwU/s1600/IMG_3604i.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVAxWwNC3PCNCVX_W7oF7AuTQBgj6lWd7dJDLOL7zdd_qwKpgbGRXGkG024Ue3XyH2oyYAQN4FIbD9om2S1mNqJqX0nYkPMuQTdZgK4rURB7pEtv2rD01mRKs73hfVJdDke7ziDWI_WDwU/s1600/IMG_3604i.jpg" /></a></div>
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Today has been the best day. I finally got time to edit and
publish these photos!! I took them a long time ago and I’ve been drowning in
work and assignments ever since! I’ve currently been assigned another client
and completed most of my assignments so I’m feeling so relieved. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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So the story behind the dress. This dress belongs to my
sister. She left it by mistake when she moved out and because my work schedule got
so hectic I never got time to do my laundry and one day I had no choice but to
wear it. OMW. It fit like a glove. I normally like darker florals but this
dress really gave me an upbeat attitude on a Monday and I’ve been having the
worst term of my life!!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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I’ve always worn bodycon dresses or pants with shirts at
work because I’ve always been scared that a really windy day would have dreadful
consequences for my booty so I’ve never considered shopping for similar
dresses. But the material used for this dress gives you that comfort that it
would not easily be blown away so definitely more of these in the near future!!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhv4Dx7S9-gJTHByReeRAhy0Jz8UGLOCjfoGHIvhgPxVNP5xIGZHDOHu8GbWvQL7n8_KNFrkNaOsfh1usBJDAVSsLw8VR05M5vE0K5gO3be5snQk6WAHkRlxM_0pvhHZo4iRv2cSk18x3DP/s1600/IMG_3589i.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhv4Dx7S9-gJTHByReeRAhy0Jz8UGLOCjfoGHIvhgPxVNP5xIGZHDOHu8GbWvQL7n8_KNFrkNaOsfh1usBJDAVSsLw8VR05M5vE0K5gO3be5snQk6WAHkRlxM_0pvhHZo4iRv2cSk18x3DP/s1600/IMG_3589i.jpg" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAnkhG5LtDyubbGUvoLw13FFE4crTc0TjuLjqEqqElnjFAq_JSjxoxtdSrZm3BbKj37RxcDirggNteVMMzXVhTiVHG6JsTNIPiJI07BMOOWmmqp2JxQdJxZcftq3Hf3Z3skyv03zCCqz6-/s1600/IMG_3572i.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAnkhG5LtDyubbGUvoLw13FFE4crTc0TjuLjqEqqElnjFAq_JSjxoxtdSrZm3BbKj37RxcDirggNteVMMzXVhTiVHG6JsTNIPiJI07BMOOWmmqp2JxQdJxZcftq3Hf3Z3skyv03zCCqz6-/s1600/IMG_3572i.jpg" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicndv4p_qYKBExSA1iOy1N-Apc_GqMBGBGWoyqZEpgQTI_qBAI8U2EXZM2Rol23_LouLICaDzl4j5-slEgj3SFxuAu4p3BDBbVaEG3L3TAoHreRvZ0AY1xpxQuB2BeSk10MG5UlLJ7RgCx/s1600/IMG_3567i.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicndv4p_qYKBExSA1iOy1N-Apc_GqMBGBGWoyqZEpgQTI_qBAI8U2EXZM2Rol23_LouLICaDzl4j5-slEgj3SFxuAu4p3BDBbVaEG3L3TAoHreRvZ0AY1xpxQuB2BeSk10MG5UlLJ7RgCx/s1600/IMG_3567i.jpg" /></a></div>
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And now for a little update. I definitely want to do a lot
more styling posts. I really miss that. And I also want to get back to my channel! Time is so limited and I have so much that I still want to achieve this year. I’m also going through so many changes. And
also rebuilding my mindset. I allowed myself to be this negative and depressed
person and being stuck in that has really limited my creativity. I’ll also be
exploring our town a bit more. I’ve been so stuck indoors for a little more
than six months now and I’m really missing out so I’ll be documenting that. <i>(Should I try vlogging it instead?)</i></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
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<i>Stay tuned!</i></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
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See you next time!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
</div>
Jabihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00382062370470995452noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3936079007033097614.post-91844861992338606742017-04-11T14:33:00.000-07:002017-04-11T14:33:07.402-07:00How to ease up your guilty conscious<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Hi everyone!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIiD4fwrKEphTtUOVFH-A_TYF8qsIajxFJCpS9ZV6tt40A0qIV0moM3dC-2IWymWl8zfT_Eo4EFOEtcDvDv8Dg3x7hI-0LJevbLcQHST2_HPmQUOiv2kVYepuZ-HSXtFaVS24d4ASxlVgM/s1600/IMG_3269I.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIiD4fwrKEphTtUOVFH-A_TYF8qsIajxFJCpS9ZV6tt40A0qIV0moM3dC-2IWymWl8zfT_Eo4EFOEtcDvDv8Dg3x7hI-0LJevbLcQHST2_HPmQUOiv2kVYepuZ-HSXtFaVS24d4ASxlVgM/s1600/IMG_3269I.jpg" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
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I have a little bit of a writer’s block because I have an
insane amount of stress (& heartburn) at the moment which is really good
for lifestyle posts because then I have an urgent need to talk about it. I have
no idea how I’m going to spend my time this weekend because I also have to go
home (3 hours away) because I’ve been summoned to take measurements for my
cousin’s upcoming wedding at the end of April. Solution would be to send the
measurements right? <i>Try telling my mom
that.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So with all the political madness going on it has
become even more important to build your own world because you can’t let the
national negativity get you down. Neither should you allow the international depression (Trump is still there.
What is happening in Syria?)to <i>trump</i>
your spirits. It’s very hard for us (let’s say educated black people) to move
back home to minimize fixed costs and to try different jobs seeing that there’s
already such a huge unemployment rate in our city and overall country. So
sometimes you are <u><a href="http://closetfreedom.blogspot.co.za/2016/06/10-reasons-why-i-hate-my-job.html" target="_blank">stuck in your job</a></u>. <o:p></o:p></div>
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This year I was supposed to add an academic element in my
last year of articles but in order to set myself free I did not register for it
and I did not notify my boss. You can imagine what a huge violation that is. I
did not resign because I can’t move back home and start over. <i>Thank you, Black Tax. </i>And it was
difficult to even get a job I’m over-qualified for. <i>I still don’t know how that’s possible. </i>So I effectively decided to
just finish the year and add my completed articles to my CV. Sometimes I want
to put it there as <i>‘3 years of intense slavery’</i>.
<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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So for the first month or so I was riddled with guilt
because I have long asked him to be transparent because he’s always late and
tells you about a meeting with a client 10 minutes before and expects you to
know everything about it by the time you reach their offices. Even after that
has been addressed with him, it seemed like he sees lateness and
non-transparency as a lux lifestyle so I’ve decided to accept it that about
him. <a href="http://closetfreedom.blogspot.co.za/2017/01/the-tea-in-talk-1-attachment-fears.html" target="_blank"><u>Guess where I got my training from?</u> </a>I guess Daddy trained me well.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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So how can you stop feeling guilt over something you did but
did it for the right reason?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->1.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span><!--[endif]-->Ask yourself if you could have done it any other
way <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->2.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span><!--[endif]-->Ask yourself if this option lets you sleep
better at night<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->3.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span><!--[endif]-->Ask yourself if you’re willing to deal with the
consequences<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->4.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span><!--[endif]-->Ask yourself if this decision, other than the
guilt, makes you happy<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]-->5.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span><!--[endif]-->Ask yourself if it will bring out new change<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Last year I was severely depressed. I used to take sick days
multiple times of the year because I did not have the strength to get up to go
to work. It’s when I first discovered that your job can actually make you sick.
So how did I apply the above?<o:p></o:p></div>
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I could have told my boss but he would have convinced me to
register, backed up by legislation requirements (aka legislation threats). He
would have also made work hostile because I wanted to ‘retaliate’. So there was
no other way. Since making a new path I’ve become more excited about my
evenings and weekends because I get to learn something new. I could get fired or
my salary could get affected (consequences). Other than the temporary guilt I
have been feeling much happier this year. It was hard at first but I’m definitely
becoming more care free and happy. I’ve totally embraced the new change! It’s
still a bit hard but it’s happy hard. Time management is still a bit of a
problem and I’ve had to get used to writing again (for my assignments) so it’s
a work in progress.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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So you can see how the combination of addressing these
questions was able to ease up a bit of the guilt. And it’s also a plus if the
corresponding person makes it easy by being an uncontrollably inconsiderate
person!<o:p></o:p></div>
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Put yourself first! Be brave!!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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xx<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
Jabihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00382062370470995452noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3936079007033097614.post-3043207793536323342017-04-07T01:43:00.000-07:002017-04-07T01:43:10.813-07:00How emotional turmoil can be physically evident<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Hi everyone!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdEYTBPcudFbiFudG4Mp_EX4dSXd4hU5BJtQgTbwQzGJSmIEIGxMabDMxsXM5Gj90o-E-zcmihwjXeBd7QNTniy0hDN2uHnUXsW7a_H6PkY9AFE76p5mWZbjMk2bWkmm4rBlaYd-Uo1vbI/s1600/IMG_3520i.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdEYTBPcudFbiFudG4Mp_EX4dSXd4hU5BJtQgTbwQzGJSmIEIGxMabDMxsXM5Gj90o-E-zcmihwjXeBd7QNTniy0hDN2uHnUXsW7a_H6PkY9AFE76p5mWZbjMk2bWkmm4rBlaYd-Uo1vbI/s1600/IMG_3520i.jpg" /></a></div>
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Something weird is happening. Yesterday I was in the middle
of a sale of one of my assets and I was just overcame with insane anxiety. I
had to submit an assignment last night and it’s still not complete now. I was
just stunned. So normally I would just cry a bit because it releases some
emotional pressure bit instead I called like 5 people and cleaned my place. I
haven’t been able to clean it for almost 2 weeks and this morning it was as if
it’s occupied by …well, a clean person! LOL!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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So what does this mean?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Well 2 things have come to pass. My tearsgates are sealed
TIGHT. Not one tear was available for me which made it extra frustrating! It’s
like having a solution that temporarily works but now you can’t use it. Then I
watched some Youtube videos and that was shortlived because I don’t know how
the settings are right now but it’s so hard to discover new people so I got
bored and shut it down. Then it was time to scrub the evidence so I bagged the
garbage to get it ready for pick up the next morning, cleaned the kitchen and
packed my bedroom into place. Clean environment = Clean Mind? Not exactly but
it was a start because I felt a little lighter. It was already 2am so I did not
force myself to finish up my assignment because being tired at work has had
awful consequences for me in the past!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I think I’m familiar with what’s happening because my mom
suffers from the exact same thing. Every time she’s faced with an emotional
issue and tries to internalize it, it always comes out on her body. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One time
she had an operation done to cut out an unexpected, and yet to be explained,
growth in her shoulder when my brother became an overnight rebel and alcoholic.
She also keep being sick when she got a new principal that tried to destroy an
orphanage that she spent 10 years building. That time she had to wear an eye
patch after her eye got damaged when she kept getting a series of serious
tension headaches. And the list goes on.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
People think that having anxiety is an easy thing to ‘adopt’
just because a lot of people suffer from it now. However, some people have it
but are not aware and then it makes itself apparent in different ways. One
thing I can draw from my own experience is to find a step by step guide on how
to go through the motions so that it can leave your body quicker or so that you
can rebuild faster. Sometimes a whole week can pass you by without you knowing
what happened and soon enough you won’t even remember what triggered it because
you’ll be neck deep in a depression pit. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In the space of reaching my home at 5pm I went through
insane worry. Will I be able to sell my asset? Do I want to sell it? Will I
ever get out of financial trouble? Made some coffee thinking it will keep me
calm. Met up with buyers. Buyers left with a lower offer than one I had in
mind. Should I take a walk? It’s too dark now. Call friend. He tried to make me
feel better but I can’t tell him about the sale because I did not tell him
about acquisition. Call friend I haven’t spoken to properly since she gave
birth. Network is awful. Friend calls me, love life trouble that I had I had to
put brakes to because I don’t understand why my heartbeat is so fast. Am I
upset about the sale. Mom calls, asks me when I’m coming home. Should I drive
to the store? No. Should I take a nap? No, its only 9. Let’s watch Life in
Pieces. Heartbeat the same but now feels coupled with heartburn. Open the
windows and the fan. Prepare a soothing bath. Wash dishes and clean room first.
Take a soothing bath. Try to sleep. Can’t sleep. Watch Life in Pieces again so
that you can sleep.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmLRaOLxSA7Q3p83oDQzAGBglUPhyS16J7C7dnvjsTGn35MyoWc_e1jPPKgx769JQkTxZEIrK789a4NZ1Q7h8FcnNHjoK86vX76Yvrz0cbIl56MzvZCEzQpnoG_0DgQpOcDW8FOuWmfsmF/s1600/IMG_3516i.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="528" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmLRaOLxSA7Q3p83oDQzAGBglUPhyS16J7C7dnvjsTGn35MyoWc_e1jPPKgx769JQkTxZEIrK789a4NZ1Q7h8FcnNHjoK86vX76Yvrz0cbIl56MzvZCEzQpnoG_0DgQpOcDW8FOuWmfsmF/s640/IMG_3516i.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
5am alarm goes off.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Work.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That is just one Tuesday night. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Concerning?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Definitely.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Do I still have the same worries this morning? Yes but it’s
time to focus on work because I still need to function like an unaffected human
being. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What will I do?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Finalize sale so that it doesn’t hibernate. The longer I
struggle to end the chapter the more I’ll worry about being financially afloat.
People think that you can ‘snap out’ of it by having a mindset change. I used
to be one of those people. Until it’s you or someone you know. Yes, effective
decisions definitely helps in order to get the ball rolling because the danger
is not make a decision at all and to be crippled by the unknown.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Be brave! Find a way!!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Xx</div>
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Jabihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00382062370470995452noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3936079007033097614.post-21999669576321537382017-04-05T00:06:00.000-07:002017-04-05T00:06:08.234-07:00Effective Problem Solving & Life Update<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Hi everyone!<o:p></o:p></div>
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It’s been a few weeks now and I thought I should give you
guys a life update. It’s only been 3 months into 2017 and I feel like I’ve
gotten through more things than I have in 2016. I think last year I didn’t really
deal with it in the right way so I’m trying several new methods this year that
will hopefully be more sustainable.<o:p></o:p></div>
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All my spheres are basically under attack. Especially my
family and that’s a real emotional soft spot for me because I’ve always been a
worrier (changes in progress). I know that everyone has their own individual
family issues which can be so much worse than mine so I’m not going to waste
time going into details about it. My first priority this year was to move away
from carrying full responsibility for <i>their</i>
health, happiness and satisfaction. Now, this sounds very tough because, like
most people, no-one wants to disappoint their family. <o:p></o:p></div>
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So as I’m doing this I’ve just realized that in order to
succeed/pull this off I’ll need to shut down certain aspects of me that actually
contribute to me as a person. Which includes generosity, caring for others and
the desire to always assist in coming up with a plan (which is a skill I
learned recently – prior to that I would just break down and cry if I hit a
wall). I’ve always seen myself as having a huge guilty conscious – which up
until recently I thought was good thing. I ‘used’ it to prevent me from lying
and in order to keep my promises. LOL! I know, I know. In order to regain my
power I had to learn to say No and to return ‘plscallme’ with another
‘plscallme’.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I had to learn to stop following up on things that don’t
concern me. I’ve always been a gladiator for my friends and family. Always made
sure that they were fine a week from now, a month from now and a year from now.
And that has to stop. Mostly because it has become so expensive now that I have
to call them. I also had to stop following up on things that do concern me.
Especially things I can’t change. With my history with <u><a href="http://closetfreedom.blogspot.co.za/2017/01/the-tea-in-talk-1-attachment-fears.html" target="_blank">my father</a> </u>I sort
of had to learn to accept people as they are and not how I want them to be. But
for some reason my mind would not let me apply that to my own sibling and he
has clearly taken advantage of my goodness and generosity for far too long
without looking back to the damage it has caused me.<o:p></o:p></div>
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So in order to deal with it I had to build <i>more</i> walls in order to protect myself
and in order to prioritize. I had to learn to put myself first. As I’m writing
this, there’s so many people I want to catch up with and ‘follow up’ on them to
see if they are coping but that goes against putting myself first because I
haven’t stopped to ask myself: Am I okay? Am I satisfied? Where’s my life
going? Am I still trying every day to be in line with my purpose? What is my
purpose? Am I where God wants me to be? Am I growing at a reasonable pace? What
is a reasonable pace? Am I making progress in my life?<o:p></o:p></div>
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Answers to these questions take time. And they also evolve.
Some people go through an entire lifetime without asking themselves. Can you
imagine what that’s like? To some it sounds easy right? Until you really have
to evaluate the answers and the angle/perspective you’re answering them from.
One thing I’m learning right now is to unload. I’m giving some things away that
I’ve carried with me for years! Because by hoarding it, there’s no space for
new things. I also feel like interacting with people less because they don’t
realize that their view of me (or previous me) slows me down into developing
into the person I want to be. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Life has no correct answers. In order to solve a problem you
must first acknowledge it (even if it’s you) and then evaluate several possible
outcomes and choose the one that will work for you (not the socially acceptable
one) and then implement it!<o:p></o:p></div>
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Be brave!<o:p></o:p></div>
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xx<o:p></o:p></div>
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Jabihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00382062370470995452noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3936079007033097614.post-76487918579679933072017-03-02T06:59:00.001-08:002017-03-02T06:59:56.404-08:00Room Decor Wishlist<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Hi everyone!<o:p></o:p></div>
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Due to the ridiculous backlog of work I have, I rarely get
time to stay on top of things ever since Donald Trump announced that he’s running
for president. Yup, that far back. On the bright side January and February is
behind us and I’m just so excited to just be in March with the early sunsets and
the cold creeping in at night. My siblings just moved out and I’m looking to
jazz up my place a bit.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I’ve been looking for inspiration everywhere and I just don’t
understand why we have Netflix but we don’t have IKEA. Because it seems like
IKEA is the only store we need for basically HOUSE DÉCOR AND LIFE DÉCOR!
However, I’ve been looking around and it seems like Game and Makro are stepping
up and have more things in store than ever before.<o:p></o:p></div>
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My budget is quite tiny but my dreams are unlimited so my
wishlist is a mix of the pricier side and also some things I’ll be able to
afford. I believe that I’m happiest in my room and bathroom so that’s where I’m
going to start! I checked Superbalist and I loved 3 options:<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2oN73rub9Okq4UeX58gIzUSzq2XiqCK_RcHsdEUNF0pzjXbp2JRlrZSBVge10evUjyjKRnGaA_MJYn46T9mgyVGXUprLQhSfqKvV8hLQkYHycWwsUAUH_yTxuRUxt4ykXHCrWTbNd4xaV/s1600/collage+bedding.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2oN73rub9Okq4UeX58gIzUSzq2XiqCK_RcHsdEUNF0pzjXbp2JRlrZSBVge10evUjyjKRnGaA_MJYn46T9mgyVGXUprLQhSfqKvV8hLQkYHycWwsUAUH_yTxuRUxt4ykXHCrWTbNd4xaV/s1600/collage+bedding.jpg" /></a></div>
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<o:p> <a href="https://superbalist.com/apartment/bedding-bath/bedding/criss-cross-duvet-cover/63745?ref=department_160%2Fcategory_273%2Fcategory_276" target="_blank">1</a>, <a href="https://superbalist.com/apartment/bedding-bath/bedding/club-duvet-duvet-cover/85381?ref=department_160%2Fcategory_273%2Fcategory_276" target="_blank">2</a>, <a href="https://superbalist.com/apartment/bedding-bath/bedding/dots-duvet-cover/85378?ref=department_160%2Fcategory_273%2Fcategory_276" target="_blank">3</a></o:p></div>
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What do they have in common?<o:p></o:p></div>
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They are white (yasss because I’m grown now) and have
minimal detail because I don’t like it if it’s completely plain. I think other
similar colours that would have been okay, would have been light grey and mint
because of how they are such ocean based colours.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJg2irYxcB2ds6fjtvd5CAdGC20AjIGzm69bRhD6vBpXlUpLvNCEmKUwpbumIagAnnp1XFtvADKs9SAoQdYiV9mztEmCEw23dZW517iTGBY1DEMyospt4TePPbREw_ptvf9MFAWkfRZffq/s1600/02_1403010992_SI_00.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJg2irYxcB2ds6fjtvd5CAdGC20AjIGzm69bRhD6vBpXlUpLvNCEmKUwpbumIagAnnp1XFtvADKs9SAoQdYiV9mztEmCEw23dZW517iTGBY1DEMyospt4TePPbREw_ptvf9MFAWkfRZffq/s1600/02_1403010992_SI_00.jpg" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://www.mrphome.com/en_za/100-cotton-printed-stripe-duvet-cover-set-1403010992" target="_blank">MrPrice</a></div>
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I chose the same option from Mr Price Home even though they
are more bolder with their designs and colours and they have more dramatic
options!<o:p></o:p></div>
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For my living space I’m looking to also keep it minimal and
as open as possible. My place opens up to this untouched area so it’s so vital
to me for that space to have as much air/breeze as possible! I’m still deciding
on the furniture side but I’ve been loving this couch for the longest time
because it has no back. I’ve always been self-conscious about the oil in my
hair leaving a stain and with this I don’t have to worry about the accumulated
hair oil stains!!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://www.mrphome.com/en_za/camden-3-seater-sofa-8101014510" target="_blank">3 seater couch</a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp1h1aGudN2mcUhNdyIOlEYRFxJfIuVEteiaUyCR3UN7Mr6dgaE5pSUgKEWqxn9HutU3Vzut-o-jwtStAgy7WCSA_y-QAdj9cwtYa8bIUxFO6_1J9sifd-7nU0rFC4ggmj_dne2UCwPnsW/s1600/original+%25284%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp1h1aGudN2mcUhNdyIOlEYRFxJfIuVEteiaUyCR3UN7Mr6dgaE5pSUgKEWqxn9HutU3Vzut-o-jwtStAgy7WCSA_y-QAdj9cwtYa8bIUxFO6_1J9sifd-7nU0rFC4ggmj_dne2UCwPnsW/s640/original+%25284%2529.jpg" width="444" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><a href="https://superbalist.com/apartment/furniture/desks-tables/prunus-coffee-table-marble-effect/118245?ref=department_160%2Fcategory_546" target="_blank">Coffee Table</a></span></div>
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I think I’ll probably end up going with a classic wooden
table but for now I’m in love with this marble top with copper legs vibe on
this coffee time because it just looks more than awesome and chic AF. Based on
my budget though I think I’ll need to get an essential item like this
affordable sleeper couch and just work the rest of the décor around that until
I get a place of my own.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><a href="https://www.mrphome.com/en_za/microfibre-sleeper-couch-8101012413" target="_blank">Sleeper Couch</a></span></div>
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To be quite honest, I have no idea why I've added the couches!! I think part of me still wants to place a one seater couch in my room -for reading and making sure I don't sleep too much! Bachelor flats are ridiculously expensive in Nelspruit so just because I live in a 2 bedroom flat doesn't mean that I necessarily need to utilize the living area. So I still work around a one bedroom mentality(if that makes sense).</div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><a href="https://superbalist.com/apartment/furniture/shelves-racks/clothes-rail-black/93662?ref=department_160%2Fcategory_546" target="_blank">Rail</a></span></div>
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Last but not least is something that I've always wanted! I don't really support clothes outside the closet(mainly because Nelspruit has soo much dust) but I thought it would cut my lateness(recently) to work and also help me do styling projects.</div>
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Hopefully the next time I do a room tour, everything will be ready!</div>
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Am I the only one who gets excited about decor?</div>
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What do you guys think of these pieces?</div>
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xx</div>
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Jabihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00382062370470995452noreply@blogger.com0