The (T)EA in TALK #1: Attachment Fears

Hi everyone!

It is finally time to launch my new segment! The title is not rolling off my tongue yet but I know it will stick! LOL! I think that this will be a good psychological outlet for me. I feel like I’ve always been the rock my friends and family could rely on but since last year I’ve felt so alone and vulnerable and I absolutely HATE IT. Sometimes I think that I’ve always been like this but now it’s rearing its ugly head more and more.

As you can tell from the title, today I’m addressing one of my biggest fears. My commitment phobia. I’ve always been there – I always choose to jump before I’m pushed out. As I’ve previously mentioned in my alonetime these days I always read some interesting articles and I want to feature them in these segments. I follow Marie Claire on twitter and I really feel like such num num for not being on their subscription because they have some awesome articles for women.

The one I came across, that I’ve shared multiple times already, is the article about a woman that has the exact same fears as me – only she’s already married. I feel like I’ve read it over and over. And if someone wants to have an argument with me about when my commitment phobia will end, I remain mute and send them an e-mail with the link. I feel like there’s no-one who explains it better.

I don’t think that my parents’ divorce bother me. I’ve always thought that they were a mismatch. My mom receives love in affirmation (words of love) and gifts (small) and she always needs to be encouraged. She’s also very specific in what she wants. She can be very pushy and stubborn but mostly loving and evolving. My father on the other hand is very straight to the point. His point. Extremely inconsiderate, secretive and has elements of a realist. Also very quiet and ‘in his own world’ so to speak. So in other words – even though she was married, she was always feeling lonely.

And that is the reason why I’m hesitant to let anyone close. I’m yet to come across someone who is so caring that it is irritating. And I have a severe need for security but at the same time – independence. I also feel like most guys around their 30s (or born in the 80s) are extremely traditional. Which I mostly link with how extremely pro man they are and they have all these misconceptions about how women should act and what they should do.

I want to be looked at as an individual first. I want to have a sense of freedom but also feel secure & safe. I want a listener and a person who will make an awesome and present dad. A person who evolves and always wants to be better themselves. A humble & generous soul who has great social skills.

If you stand back and look at this – it screams one thing. I want the OPPOSITE OF MY FATHER. Does that mean I have Daddy Issues? I don’t think so. Ever since I accepted that my father can’t be the Dad I’ve always wanted – we’ve been getting along like a house on fire! The only consequence of our relationship is the fact that I use him as a benchmark when looking for a suitable partner because I want no trace of him in my next chapter.

Thought you had issues..

LOL,

How is your relationship with your dad? Does it affect how you look at your partner? Can you relate to the article like me?

Valentine's Day :: Single Girls

Hi everyone!

If you’re planning on spending Valentine’s Day in your pjs and with a tub of ice-cream (even though that sounds like something I’d look forward to) then I have some ideas for you to also have a fantastic day on the day of ‘love people’!

This is mainly for people who recently got out of a relationship or never been in a relationship on Valentine’s Day! Round up your other single friends so that they can also have a good day with you!!

This year Love day is on a Sunday so there’s a lot of time to hang out with your friends or do something fun.

The SOLO plan

1.       Stay in

Look, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with having a quiet day in! There’s a lot of people I know (including myself) who prefer isolation in any situation. The solution here is not to cry…because you’re by yourself. Make it an event! Get your knee-high socks and chunky sweater, catch up on some Netflix/ShowMax or start the book that you haven’t opened and get cracking!

2.       Go shopping

Because everyone is out on their dates and the malls are slower on Sundays this is the perfect time to catch up on some shopping and take advantage of V-day sales that people are missing out on. Make it a shopping mission, in that way you’re not there to be around people who are in love!! ALERT: Avoid all FOODCOURTS!!

3.       Administrative Leave

This is hilarious because it will help you keep V-day like any other day. Some people get really depressed/lonely on V-day but the key is to stay busy so that you don’t arrange a solo mission to planet depression/loneliness. Life is far too previous for that. You can catch up on your blog schedule, study, prepare for class 1 month in advance or use your planning skills to get you organized!

The CROWD plan

1.       Girl’s Night Out

If you and your friends have no plans then make it a reason to wear RED sequin dresses!! Plan a night out and just dress up! In that way you all did not sit at home and cry about different reasons why this day is so awful! Next Day will be a Monday and it will be like it never happened!!

2.       Invite your mom out for lunch.

My mom doesn’t have a husband anymore so this would definitely be a good day to make her feel loved and appreciated! We sometimes forget that our parents need that adoration and affection. So if one of your parents don’t have a date on V-day then I guess there’s a vacancy with your name on it!

3.       A mixer

Living in a small town with specific type of people I realized that I always sing one song. There are no young people in my town. But I’ve since realized that people are too indoors and tend to stick to the same click so you never meet people unless you’re invited to a social/mixer! So either arrange one or find out if there’s one you can go to!!

If this doesn’t fix a lonely Valentine’s Day, I seriously don’t know what will!! LoL!!

I HOPE YOU GET SORTED!!

Love,

Valentine’s Day date ideas

Hi everyone!

The love month is almost upon us and this year I want to actively take part in it. In previous years it was just an annoying day that I even regretting waking up to. And I would just go to bed early so that life could resume on the 15^th! But this year I’m ALL up in it!!

So then for my first post today I’m going to take on some date ideas. I hope you guys don’t think that I’m too pale and indoorsy but I can be pretty boring so these ideas are remaining plain and simple.

The oldie but a goodie

-          Dinner Date. Which girl does not like dressing up to go to fancy restaurant? So this is definitely at the top of my list because it’s simple and needs minimal planning. Seeing that we all work on that day it gives you something to look forward to. Like your Cinderella transformation build up.

-          Movie Date. I recommend this for people who aren’t big talkers or big celebrators. You want to acknowledge that it’s love day but you don’t want to do the look into my eyes routine. Then a good romcom or comedy is the order of the day and cute little walk afterwards.

-          I’ll cook Date. This is the one I would avoid because of my below average cooking skills but if you’re a wiz in the kitchen then it’s the perfect day to reveal your super powers. If you’ve been together forever you can always try new recipes together or surprise each other with your creations.

-          Drinks on you Date. Some people just like to let their hair down and be young and free again. So this date has everything – you dress up, dust your dancing shoes off, style your hair, dig in the archives for your clutch and you’re good to go. There’s nothing that can replace the freedom dancing gives you!

-          Weekend Away Date. I think there’s nothing better than getting away from your day to day activities and just enjoying the weekend away and try new things. Whether it’s hiking, wine-tasting or going to the beach. Somewhere close though. You don’t want to spend Valentine’s Day on the road. Some people even prefer the road. It gives them time to talk and some stuck with you time.

Dates to Try

-          Invite an old couple. Recently I was listening to friend talk about how affectionate her parents are to each other and immediately I thought that I would just love to listen to their stories and life lessons. They might help to add more years to your love life! Who better to learn from than people who've got it figured out?

-          Indoor Picnic. Living in a routine is okay but I think there’s nothing better than breaking out of it. So for fun you can set up the living room of your house into a picnic spot. It doesn’t cost an arm and a leg but super cute and I would definitely give an A+ for the creativity.

-          Horseback riding. Lol, also not a fan of horses but it’s out of the norm and super spontaneous.

-          Hot Air Balloon. This has been on bucket list ever since I saw one on TV. I’m super scared of heights but I would totally take a sedative to enjoy it. LOL, kidding!

-          Carnivals. I know these are seasonal but if you can drive to one I’d definitely be in for some fun rides and Mickey Mouse ears and candy floss. Who’s with me?

-          Small town sightseeing. I live next to this small town up in the mountains that has wild horses and they have these old town style houses and cute chapels. I always say I would go there just for pancakes. I love that place. Do you know any other cute small towns?

Of course there’s a whole other list of things to do on Valentine’s Day and I hope you guys have cool stuff lined up!!

Care to share your plans?

Give Love,

What are our 20s for?

Hi everyone!

What are our twenties for?

In the past couple of months I’ve been thinking a lot about this. There’s so much pressure for us to accomplish such a lot of things in our 20s. Ever since I turned twenty I’ve gotten 2 degrees, failed one major year course that made me miserable and also made me realized that I might be in the wrong career path, gotten my first job, first salary, first flat and I now pay taxes. I've taken on lifestyle blogging which has allowed me to be more myself, grossly neglected my channel because I either don’t have time or became really sloppy in planning for my channel and I haven’t gotten my hair done since February and I’ve picked up really bad eating habits... (a bit tmi there) 

That’s quite a lot of stuff but having written them down, I feel so much better already because releasing it this way is extremely therapeutic for me. Every time I feel like I (or mom) have placed a lot of pressure on myself, Phil (yes, from Modern Family) once told Hailey that your twenties are there for you to find/discover yourself. And I also remember that God did not place me on Earth to be miserable. I might not have found something that I’m passionate about that when I wake up I want to start doing it or I would sacrifice sleep for it every day but I know it’s out there somewhere!

Passion is not something that can be taught. That’s one of the most valuable lessons I have learnt recently. And it’s important not to force it or let comparisons with your peers make you feel like you’re falling behind in life. I’ve always found it important to be ahead in life on everything. Up until I realized that I was in the middle of something I wasn’t passionate about. I had the skill to understand it because I was highly competitive and organized and it’s so funny how those qualities faded away when I realized that I was doing something that made getting out of bed every morning a nightmare.

So I now I have a couple of options. And that’s the beauty of my journey. The power to decide on my own.

   -  Leave what’s familiar behind and leap into the world of the unknown. A perfect example of someone who’s done that in the blog world is Antoinette Pepe . And what she did terrifies me but it also gives me new hope. Being in pursuit of a dream is so exhilarating and so worth-while and that’s what’s been missing from my life.

  -  Continue with what I’m doing and live under a cloud up until I’m some sort of an executive and probably making millions in what feels like the worst job on earth. The positive side is that  I’ll never be unemployed and I can work wherever I want in the world after 3 years(or maybe more) of torturous bar exams and 8-5 workdays.

  - Or start a new degree! This time hopefully in something that I’ll enjoy like languages/TV/production - basically anything creative that will hopefully involve clothes and is overall visually stimulating! I’m hopelessly too shy to be in front of the TV(working on it).

 Whichever way I go, happiness needs to be at the forefront. Being in my current job I’ve come to realize that one month is 30 days. Each day is really 24 hours and living those hours not in pursuit of a dream or being wrapped up in something passionate is really such a tragedy.

I hope my journey will inspire someone. Especially my fellow low risk takers. We never want to ruffle any feathers or disturb the peace. Until one day we wake up with a husband who’s the same as you and kids you don’t understand.

Live the life you’ll one day be proud of!

(image: Leef Tydskrif/Magazine)

I thought the quote here was so fitting. In (my own)translation it says : " The more the soul receives in silence, the more it gives in actions"

#alwayspursuehappiness

My Top 20 movies of ALL time

Hi everyone! 

Something different today. Decided to put this on paper because I sometimes forget a critical movie and then get very depressed about it (as if I don’t have stuff to do). So I put this list together based on the fact that I got my money’s worth watching it on the big screen and that I thought the creativity was insane. Some of them made me follow the actor/actress in other projects because of their amazing performance in this particular movie!

1.       Inception.

OMW. This movie blew my mind! Didn’t want to see it at first because I couldn’t identify with the topic of ‘dream stealers’ but wow can I tell you all about it now! Christopher Nolan is now one of my Blockbuster Icons.

2.       Batman: The Dark Knight

OMW. Heath Ledger was sooooo amazing as The Joker. I can delete all my movies but that one will always remain. I’ve never really seen him in anything else and I won’t because this was his best Oscar winning performance and I don’t want to spoil it.

3.       Ironman 3

Not that I don’t love the 1^st two but this one is right up there. The visuals, the many suits and Pepper Potts getting a bigger role and the villain being older man sexy!

4.       Marvel’s the Avengers

OMW. That’s like my favourite people in one movie! I have to say that I’m soo happy that Mark Ruffalo was the Hulk. Not that I didn’t like Edward it’s just that this guy just had it in him. The geek side, the shyness, the genius and when he transforms, it just feels right.

5.       Thor: The Dark World

OMW. Chris Hemsworth was just born to play Thor. I don’t care what they put on him to look like that but man does that character suit him. I also like how Idris Elba portrayed his role and how Tom Middleton manages to make me hate him in the movie! Also loved Rene Russo’s role as Thor’s mom. She just made me want to call her ‘Your highness'.

6.       Captain America 2: The Winter Soldier

Samuel L. Jackson has been in a lot of movies but I really see him most fitting to play Nick Fury. He has that authority vibe going on making you feel safe to be on team Shield. Of course I also watch the TV show and I think that it’s a crime that Agent May wasn't in the movie. She's so cool!

7.       The Fifth Element

Guys, this is an old movie but omw was everyone fantastic in it! The creativity was on another level. I feel like I have an eye for good syfy and this was it. And Milla and Bruce Willis are the only people who could’ve pulled it off. And Chris Tucker should’ve gotten an Oscar for his performance! I also thought the story was original and easy enough to follow and relate to.

8.       Gone Girl

Never read this book but I’m so glad I watched the movie! I was invited by a friend and I was sooo shocked at the level of complexity in the storyline and I completely blown away by Rosamund Pike’s performance and really thought that she was going to get an Oscar for her role. Maybe next time!

9.       Red 2

If I could ever find love, it will definitely be the way Bruce Willis and Mary- Jane finds it in this movie. Red 2 is better because it’s filled with more action and a lot more humor and the storyline becomes so deep and all the characters just create a deeper bond with each other. Hellen Mirren’s character in this movie makes you want to see her with a gun in all movies!

10.    Mission Impossible 4: Ghost Protocol
Not that I didn’t love the one with Maggie Q in that amazing red dress, I just think that the 4^th instalment was soo much bigger than the others. Paula Patton as amazing and all of Tom’s stunt were flawless and created so much anxiety! I also think that using the Burj was the perfect place for the mission just like Eiffel Tower was in Rush Hour.

11.    Seven Pounds

I believe in love. And in this movie I believe that they took it to the next level. The storyline was so extraordinary, so unique, so selfish. And I cried like a baby at the end. Like sobbed. And I think Will Smith and Rosario Dawson were best suited to bring those people to life.

12.    Fast 6

Let me be clear- I’m not a fan of the franchise so this one was the first one I watched and omw was it a thrill of a lifetime! Not enough to go back thou! All the characters were just sooo ‘at home’ and are really invested in these characters so it was pretty easy to figure out what went on. And the action was sooo on point! More than the racing itself so I really appreciated that. And the movie gives you a sense of family which makes it easily relatable.

13.    Now you see me

This movie is the result of what I would call Magicians United. I feel like I went in there with no expectations and the movie just delivered. I’m not a fan of magic reality shows so I don’t know if all the magic fans were disappointed but I was so glued to the storyline and the tricks and ‘lesson to be learnt’ that I thought that it must have taken them quite some time to make it unique. So 13 thumbs up!

14.    Law Abiding Citizen

Oldie but still a goodie! I like a man with a plan! Even a revenge plan on the big screen. What happened with the lead character portrayed by Gerald Butler made us all identify with him and so his journey made us all gasp and wonder what came next. I would watch that movie again any day.

15.    Avatar

I think this is some people’s number one but I only watched Avatar once, loved it but would never watch it again. When I checked I heard that it was the best-selling movie of all time that replaced Titanic and later found out that it was directed by the same director James Cameron. This guy has the gift of going big and I admire that in a visionary person!

16.    Fantastic Four: Rise of Silver Surfer

I don’t know what’s up with me and my attraction to nerds but man do I love Mr Fantastic in this movie! He is so gorg! I also love The Thing. He reminds of Hulk. And I just felt like the sequel was just bigger and better! And that spaceship thing he made was like nerdtastic!

17.    The Women

Never really been a fan of Meg Ryan but there’s two movies where she does it for me and it’s this one and Kate & Leopold. Hugh Jackman was probably the reason for my ability to fall in love in that movie! In this one I just like how middle aged women were facing real problems together and it just made me want to have a bond like that in future.

18.    Colombiana

My girl crush of all time Zoe Saldana kicks a$$ in this movie the way I like it! I especially connected with her vulnerability with her boyfriend when he really wanted to get to ‘know’ her and the danger that brought to her very existence. And she just looked so flawless throughout!

19.    Wolverine

Hugh Jackman is one of my favourite actors of all time and there’s truly no-one better to bring this beast to life. Amazing direction of photography, raw action and all the characters really made you understand how X-Men came to be born to what we know it as today. 

20.    It’s complicated/The proposal.

Both these movies are at number 20 because I didn’t know which one to choose. Meryl Streep is an amazing actress and this movie made me understand old people and how love can evolve if/when you just let go.  I guess the same is true about Sandra Bullock’s character. She built such a strong wall around herself that it was terrifying when a good man wanted to break them down. But seriously, who’s not in love with Ryan Reynolds by now?

What do you guys think?

Pictures from Google

Easy On

Helooo;)!

As winter is slowly going way it's been really great to just be in slouchy cardigans and really easy-to-wear leggings.  My cardigan is such a blessing because I can just wear it with anything basically. This week I'm writing another set of tests and I'm just hoping that I won't look like the haunted house at the end of next week!!

Be blessed!!

Top - Cardigan ~ FashionWorld + grey top ~ thrifted

Leggings ~ MrPrice

Booties ~ MrPrice

Reach me --->>@closetfreedom

Winter Deluxe

Heloooo;)!

I'm free!!! For 3 weeks. That means that in the next 3 weeks I'm going to have to put a lot of effort in studying. Tomorrow will be the 1st of June which marks the beginning of the last few months of my final year as a student- I cannot tell you how excited I am!!

So today I wore this beautiful burgundy jacket/coat to the test from 8am-2pm!

I once learnt from a friend that you shouldn't wear a horrible outfit when you're about to write a difficult test!!

Lemme know what you think?!

Jacket ~ Ackermans( from last season)

Bag ~ thrifted

Jeans ~ Mr Price

Shoes ~ Pep Stores

Top ~ PicknPay

Scarf(took it from mom's stuff)

xx

This look will be in my winter lookbook!

Reach me ------>>@closetfreedom

Watch me --->www.youtube.com/user/MyClosetFreedom

Some Pink Spice!

Heloooo!!!

It's winter now but for some reason every now and again the sun comes out to play! So that means pick something from your summer collection archive that you packed away at the beginning of May!!! I had a full day of classes so my pick was my trusty beige booties...in that way I get to wear socks! And this pink skirt I got from  a MrPrice store like forever ago!!

Let me know what you think?!

Booties ~ Pep Stores

Skirt ~ MrPrice

Top ~ Pep Stores

Scarf ~ Jet

My wardrobe is all about maintaining style on a really strict budget. All my clothes come from 'regular' stores but I'm hoping to expand my clothing store options in future! Other pieces are thrifted but seeing that I only go home every 3 months I rarely get time to acquire unique staple pieces. 

xx

Reach me ------>@closetfreedom

Out of old memories..there's the best motivation!!

Helooo!!


I've been struggling so much to upload some new pairings! But I'm going on a much needed holiday next week and I hope that between all the shopping and resting I can upload as much as possible!!
But for now, I thought I'd most some old photos!! This was basically one of my first pictures that I wanted to use to jumpstart my blog!

Demin jacket ~ thrifted

Top ~ my moms!!

Bag ~ Fashion World

Bottoms ~ Fashion World

Shoes ~ (old)

Ring ~ thrifted

Basically I just live in comfort!!!

See you soon!!

Reach me ----->>>@closetfreedom

Winter weather but Warm Sunshine ~Pairing with Black Classic Skinnies!!

HeloOo again!

I always miss this blog when I'm away from it for more than a week!! My life has been so dramatic in the past month ...and to be honest -I don't see it slowing down in the next couple of months. So I've decided to embrace it with a new attitude!!

It's really true when they say beauty comes from within. Now..I truly believe that you really have to feel it from inside your heart. So as soon as I felt a little better I had this twist-style braid hairstyle done. To be honest- I'm not a big fan because they take forever and only last for as long as you can maintain them -which is a bad idea for me cause I'm a more on the go type of girl! So for the next month I'm going to try my best to keep them looking great!

Today I'm doing a pairing with my classic black skinny jeans that I bought at Fashion World a while back. The 1st look is actually a dress but I had it tucked in underneath the peplum top. I've worn it that way for an entire day so I will not embarrass you or make you feel burdened and then with the 2nd look I used a thrifted blouse that I absolutely luurve and bought for R15 last year!!

I hope you enjoy this pairing!

Details

Peplum ~ JetMart

Shoes ~ MrPrice

Bag ~ thrifted

Earrings ~ Ackermans

Skinny Jeans ~ FashionWorld

Details

Top ~ thrifted

Shoes ~ FashionWorld

Earrings ~ FashionWorld

You can check these items and others out online on:

MrPrice - www.mrp.com

FashionWorld - http://www.fashionworld.co.za

Ackermans - http://www.ackermans.co.za

Thank for reading!!

Reach me ---->>>>@closetfreedom

Cocktail Evening!

helooo-)!!

As promised I'm uploading pictures of my outfit that I rocked at our uni's cocktail evening.
Looking back on it now it was really just an excuse to dress up and wear uncomfortable shoes!!
I decided to wear this new dress(another) that my mom bought me and I think I really underestimated its prettiness! My make-up was done by my good friend Phumi and I was really impressed with her knowledge of beauty and make-up!! She taught me a couple of things that I'm hoping to use this year in my videos on my currently under construction Youtube channel!

Lemme know what you think!!!

Dress- thrifted(gift)

Clutch- Gift from mom

Earrings- thrifted

Shoes- Fashion World

Reach me @closetfreedom

Thanks for reading!