For the longest time I’ve cared too much of what people think of me. Wayyy too much!! I can’t wear this here or I can’t say this amongst these people… And as of late I’ve just been like who gives two shits?
Don’t misunderstand me. I care about my image. I care that people not know me coke-addicted professional side chick only because those are the things I’m not. But things that I am? Those are the things I refuse to let someone make me feel inferior about. And we all have to protect that about ourselves.
Let’s start with my body image.
I don’t have the traditional ‘African’ booty. And for the longest time I was too scared to wear bodycon dresses or skirts because I scared that people would say that I’m part of the ‘iron board society’. Surprisingly that’s all I’ve been wearing for work because I haven’t found any ‘workpants’ that I’m in love with. And you know what came out of it? I discovered that I have amazing legs!!
I wear make-up now. And where I work the women are okay being ‘naturally beautiful’ – which I have no problem with but they’re constantly trying to make you feel bad about wearing make-up. So since then I’ve been wearing bolder colours!! Because I DO NOT care about how they feel. I’m there to do a job. In style. I’m not there for them. And this comes in small condescending remarks covered by a super thin veil. Ignore it. They’re just trying to plant their insecurities on you. Listening to them will be like watering it.
Apply the same if someone is trying to body shame you. There’s no point in trying to bring down other women and make them feel small/insignificant! We’re fine doing it on our own – and that’s something we’re working on every day. So if someone wants to add onto that (not in a positive way) then walk away from that person or protect yourself against them.
Next is your walk.
Two people significantly changed how I walk in my life. One was my mom because she always wanted me to be a beauty queen so my shoulders had to be super straight. And the other one was at uni. I was super depressed at times and this one girl was like: “you always walk like you’re tired, its 8 am!” At the time I wanted to set her on fire but she’ll never know how much that has changed my life. Now I’m always telling people to walk up straight or in a way that portrays more confidence.
People always tell me that I look ‘unapproachable’ and each time my jaw just drops because I always think that my face looks friendly. Then I realised that it’s probably because I’m listening to all the people in my head which could result in frowning or the ‘bitchface syndrome’. So now I smile more and greet people first because in that way they’re free to approach me. Ever since I started doing that people found it not so scary to talk to me anymore and I want to keep it that way!
Have you found some similarities in the things I just mentioned?
Share with me!