Girl’s guide to growing up without an active dad

Hi everyone!!

Today’s post is for those girls who’ve never really experienced unconditional love from a dad before and always knew that they are a daddy’s girl at heart. I am exactly like you!

We all react differently from not having a dad around. Some girls had amazing fathers who passed away and their world came crashing down. I sometimes wonder what that’s like because they feel a great sense of loss of amazing love that they’ve once experienced and no man will ever be able to fill that void.

Instead I have a very cold dad. He’s very indifferent. You can’t make him proud even if you became president. You never get hugs and he’ll never tell you that he loves you. Won’t ask you about how your life is progressing or if there are any changes. He won’t give you advice because he thinks that you’ll figure it out on your own. Will never show you affection because he doesn’t show affection to anyone. Or make you feel safe which makes you yearn for someone to make you feel that way.

I’ve learnt a long time ago to let that desire go. We always pray for things to go our way. But I feel like God will sometimes give you the maturity or the stomach to handle the fact that you won’t get something. Which is why I believe that something better will come into my life that will take care of or remedy this empty feeling.

I don’t go out and look for it though. It’s also the reason why it’s not easy for me to carry my heart on my sleeve. It’s so difficult to explain what you need for your heart to feel whole. So we hide behind these gigantic walls. Sometimes I don’t even know how high mine are. Life, however, is not worth living without those people that want to make us tear those walls down.

Just because my dad doesn’t love me as much as I would have wanted him to, it doesn’t mean that I have no value. It just means that I have to love myself even more to fill his side of my heart and not let it die just because he doesn’t occupy it.

This is just like grieving. You first have to accept the loss and then figure out – where to from here?

Bold at the Bottom

Hi everyone!!

I like to start my week on a good note so I always think about what outfit will make me feel great on the day when no-one wants to get out of bed.

And this is what I came up with this week!!

What do you guys think?

Would this look put a smile on your Monday face?

Shirt - thrifted

Skirt - thrifted 

Shoes - Fashion Express

Leave your comment below! xx

How to Avoid Bullies

Hi everyone!!

In school I can actually say that I’ve only been bullied once by a very vicious girl who came from a dysfunctional family(discovery I made later in my life) and I was saved by a girl who didn’t have siblings(so she was used to being alone) who pulled me out of bully’s claws.

It happened such a long time ago and I’m getting sooo emotional about it all of a sudden.

When I was younger I was extremely shy with an ultra-low self-esteem. Like you could make me twirl in my sleep. So I never really told anyone because my other friends were also bullied by the same person. Until one day my one friend had enough and started having her lunch by herself. It didn’t take long for her to convince me to have lunch with her. And that was the best non-verbal decision I’ve ever made.

I taught me to leave a stressful environment and that isolation wasn’t a bad thing. I didn’t really talk much so after that I didn’t say anything to the bully. She would look at me with flames in her eyes but she knew that she couldn’t lock me up in a cage and carry me around so she would just stare at us from far. I would just look down when I passed her and the moment would just go by faster. Our school was quite small so she couldn’t physically abuse me without anyone seeing her. And she knew that too.

So for years it went on like that until she got transferred to another school and then school became heaven! I participated more in other activities, performed better at academics a long while thereafter and became quite competitive. And only years later I realized that a bad person caused me to be half the person that I could have been earlier in my life had I not been supressed by a human being who wasn’t worth my time.

In the past years I also realized that if there’s one thing I learnt from my brief encounter with a bully is that isolation can be your friend.

But some people don’t want to be alone, so they’d rather surround themselves with people that add no value to their lives and then don’t understand why they make the decisions they make. You are the company you keep.

Bullies are different all over the world.

But don’t let the one you come across change the person you are or the person you’re destined to become.

How to deal : If someone opens up an old wound

Hi everyone!!

A couple of years ago I started coming out of my shell more and I’d interact with a lot of people. Students of course. Took a lot of leadership roles to learn how to handle the pressure of having a lot of people depends on me. It was okay. I felt good to help people, to inspire and to motivate.

Now that I work, there’s just a different kind of interaction going on. And I’ve come to realize that people here don’t need to be friendly. And you also have no idea how they were raised so anything can happen any day.

I work in a place with a lot of levels so we all depend on each other. And sometimes this makes me wish that I could just work in isolation so that if someone is having a bad day then I don’t have to talk to them. As harsh as that sounds.

So recently I had an encounter that opened up such a hurtful part of my life. Worst part was – I thought I was over it until all the emotions that I thought I had put behind me came rushing back. It’s as if the blood was drained from face and the tears were all over my eyes like an unscheduled rain shower.

To make it worse, the person helping me doesn’t know about that time in my life so all these facts made him more sarcastic because he’s a bit more established/higher level than me and has successfully gone through this part that I struggled to climb over.

I think I just left.

Left the office to have some air in my eyes.

When I came back I built up enough courage to get the interaction over and done with. And was just so relieved.

So these are key things that I think helped me handle it:

-As soon as I got emotional I immediately thought of options to remain calm. For me that’s air, cool water and keeping busy with some other task or leaving the environment. It’s important not to make a scene. Because then you’d have to explain the whole story or it will make the office hostile/tense.

-Remember why it’s in the past. What helped here is that I dealt with this matter thoroughly and it helped control the tears because I’ve cried about it endlessly before. If it gets out of control rather take an early lunch or rest of the day off. Or bottle it and take care of it at night by talking to someone about it.

- Do not hold a grudge. This person wasn’t in my life at the time so he’s not aware of the level of sensitivity that this particular issue comes with. So don’t keep them in your mind/heart. There’s just no time.

- Pull yourself together. Don’t waste the whole day! Work on something else or from somewhere else where you can continue being productive/ remain positive. Be strong!

Can you guys relate to this topic? I think writing it in the heat of the moment just helped me now to overcome it! You can also try to do just that!

Xx

Love

Workable Print

Hi everyone!!

I've been drowing in bodycon/pencil skirts recently so it's pretty much dominating my closet right now! So this is one of the looks I have for work! This skirt is so amazing because the print is perfect for a variety of colours(normally I keep the top plain) and I personally think it can fit any body shape!!

What do you guys think?

Shirt - Legit(old)

Skirt - MrPrice

Shoes - Fashion World

Earrings - mom's jewelry box(she doesn't know I took them)

My Top 20 movies of ALL time

Hi everyone! 

Something different today. Decided to put this on paper because I sometimes forget a critical movie and then get very depressed about it (as if I don’t have stuff to do). So I put this list together based on the fact that I got my money’s worth watching it on the big screen and that I thought the creativity was insane. Some of them made me follow the actor/actress in other projects because of their amazing performance in this particular movie!

1.       Inception.

OMW. This movie blew my mind! Didn’t want to see it at first because I couldn’t identify with the topic of ‘dream stealers’ but wow can I tell you all about it now! Christopher Nolan is now one of my Blockbuster Icons.

2.       Batman: The Dark Knight

OMW. Heath Ledger was sooooo amazing as The Joker. I can delete all my movies but that one will always remain. I’ve never really seen him in anything else and I won’t because this was his best Oscar winning performance and I don’t want to spoil it.

3.       Ironman 3

Not that I don’t love the 1^st two but this one is right up there. The visuals, the many suits and Pepper Potts getting a bigger role and the villain being older man sexy!

4.       Marvel’s the Avengers

OMW. That’s like my favourite people in one movie! I have to say that I’m soo happy that Mark Ruffalo was the Hulk. Not that I didn’t like Edward it’s just that this guy just had it in him. The geek side, the shyness, the genius and when he transforms, it just feels right.

5.       Thor: The Dark World

OMW. Chris Hemsworth was just born to play Thor. I don’t care what they put on him to look like that but man does that character suit him. I also like how Idris Elba portrayed his role and how Tom Middleton manages to make me hate him in the movie! Also loved Rene Russo’s role as Thor’s mom. She just made me want to call her ‘Your highness'.

6.       Captain America 2: The Winter Soldier

Samuel L. Jackson has been in a lot of movies but I really see him most fitting to play Nick Fury. He has that authority vibe going on making you feel safe to be on team Shield. Of course I also watch the TV show and I think that it’s a crime that Agent May wasn't in the movie. She's so cool!

7.       The Fifth Element

Guys, this is an old movie but omw was everyone fantastic in it! The creativity was on another level. I feel like I have an eye for good syfy and this was it. And Milla and Bruce Willis are the only people who could’ve pulled it off. And Chris Tucker should’ve gotten an Oscar for his performance! I also thought the story was original and easy enough to follow and relate to.

8.       Gone Girl

Never read this book but I’m so glad I watched the movie! I was invited by a friend and I was sooo shocked at the level of complexity in the storyline and I completely blown away by Rosamund Pike’s performance and really thought that she was going to get an Oscar for her role. Maybe next time!

9.       Red 2

If I could ever find love, it will definitely be the way Bruce Willis and Mary- Jane finds it in this movie. Red 2 is better because it’s filled with more action and a lot more humor and the storyline becomes so deep and all the characters just create a deeper bond with each other. Hellen Mirren’s character in this movie makes you want to see her with a gun in all movies!

10.    Mission Impossible 4: Ghost Protocol
Not that I didn’t love the one with Maggie Q in that amazing red dress, I just think that the 4^th instalment was soo much bigger than the others. Paula Patton as amazing and all of Tom’s stunt were flawless and created so much anxiety! I also think that using the Burj was the perfect place for the mission just like Eiffel Tower was in Rush Hour.

11.    Seven Pounds

I believe in love. And in this movie I believe that they took it to the next level. The storyline was so extraordinary, so unique, so selfish. And I cried like a baby at the end. Like sobbed. And I think Will Smith and Rosario Dawson were best suited to bring those people to life.

12.    Fast 6

Let me be clear- I’m not a fan of the franchise so this one was the first one I watched and omw was it a thrill of a lifetime! Not enough to go back thou! All the characters were just sooo ‘at home’ and are really invested in these characters so it was pretty easy to figure out what went on. And the action was sooo on point! More than the racing itself so I really appreciated that. And the movie gives you a sense of family which makes it easily relatable.

13.    Now you see me

This movie is the result of what I would call Magicians United. I feel like I went in there with no expectations and the movie just delivered. I’m not a fan of magic reality shows so I don’t know if all the magic fans were disappointed but I was so glued to the storyline and the tricks and ‘lesson to be learnt’ that I thought that it must have taken them quite some time to make it unique. So 13 thumbs up!

14.    Law Abiding Citizen

Oldie but still a goodie! I like a man with a plan! Even a revenge plan on the big screen. What happened with the lead character portrayed by Gerald Butler made us all identify with him and so his journey made us all gasp and wonder what came next. I would watch that movie again any day.

15.    Avatar

I think this is some people’s number one but I only watched Avatar once, loved it but would never watch it again. When I checked I heard that it was the best-selling movie of all time that replaced Titanic and later found out that it was directed by the same director James Cameron. This guy has the gift of going big and I admire that in a visionary person!

16.    Fantastic Four: Rise of Silver Surfer

I don’t know what’s up with me and my attraction to nerds but man do I love Mr Fantastic in this movie! He is so gorg! I also love The Thing. He reminds of Hulk. And I just felt like the sequel was just bigger and better! And that spaceship thing he made was like nerdtastic!

17.    The Women

Never really been a fan of Meg Ryan but there’s two movies where she does it for me and it’s this one and Kate & Leopold. Hugh Jackman was probably the reason for my ability to fall in love in that movie! In this one I just like how middle aged women were facing real problems together and it just made me want to have a bond like that in future.

18.    Colombiana

My girl crush of all time Zoe Saldana kicks a$$ in this movie the way I like it! I especially connected with her vulnerability with her boyfriend when he really wanted to get to ‘know’ her and the danger that brought to her very existence. And she just looked so flawless throughout!

19.    Wolverine

Hugh Jackman is one of my favourite actors of all time and there’s truly no-one better to bring this beast to life. Amazing direction of photography, raw action and all the characters really made you understand how X-Men came to be born to what we know it as today. 

20.    It’s complicated/The proposal.

Both these movies are at number 20 because I didn’t know which one to choose. Meryl Streep is an amazing actress and this movie made me understand old people and how love can evolve if/when you just let go.  I guess the same is true about Sandra Bullock’s character. She built such a strong wall around herself that it was terrifying when a good man wanted to break them down. But seriously, who’s not in love with Ryan Reynolds by now?

What do you guys think?

Pictures from Google