How Regret can be GOOD for you

Hi everyone!

There’s soooo much going on in my life right now. I’ve decided to play everything close to the chest until I can make some effective changes. In the last couple of weeks though I’ve been playing my life in my mind over and over again. Don’t get me wrong – I’m blessed to have qualifications, job, roof and resources that I need but I do regret not making choices to live my life more passionately.

So you guys know that this is where I vent and come up with helpful suggestions not only for me but some that I think would help a girl like me. We are in this together!

So normally people can regret decisions they’ve made and choose to live with them/the consequences and I guess someday we’ll all have to do that (hope not though). But that’s a lot to carry so the positive side of regret is when you use it to impact your life in a positive way. Example would be like when a person survives an awful accident they then choose to life to the fullest. Or if they lose a loved one close to them, they suddenly realize that life is precious and that no day should be wasted in sorrow. So this talk is for you (and me) to make changes before something tragic has to happen in order for you to realize that change is oh so necessary!

I’m currently going through a similar change. It’s so important to have goals and to spend time attempting to reach them. Because what is life without the gift of tomorrow? However if you have nothing to look forward to, you spend your days wishing they could be over before they even start!

Here’s how regret can help you grow:

1.       Each day is precious

Once you snap out of your rut in terms of pursuing your goals/dreams or making the necessary sacrifices for you to reach a certain goal you will start feeling motivated again! It just fuels you! There's nothing like the smell of new things! Or deciding not to spend one more day with a person that doesn’t and will never add anything to your life. If you think it’s bad now and you’ve tried to fix it and it still goes back to that rut – that will forever be your life cycle. But tomorrow doesn’t need to be the continuation of a downward spiral. Get excited about your life again!

2.       It emotionally detoxes you

I hope that makes sense. I think I’ve come so close to depression in my life. It’s hard to explore yourself if people (and yourself) put you in a box. From a young age I’ve always been taught to depend on a guarantee, which has always made me a low risk taker and I put my money on something that’s secure. That’s why I don’t waste time gambling or drinking (the result is by chance or has an inevitable bad consequence). But regret can help you make up your mind and it’s like your life isn’t in turmoil anymore. Because you go through a journey where you decide whose views matter in your life. You create your own box!

(For inspiration on this I shamelessly follow Shameless Maya!)

3.       It breaks routine

When you do something you love you never work a day in your life. I love that saying because it’s so true. We mostly underestimate the impact that a toxic place where we spend most of our time affects us. Before you know it you have a pot belly, huge thighs and your face/skin is in the worst condition it’s ever been. Recently I shared with my friend that when you are emotionally perplexed and you’re in denial about it/not aware then your body will tell you. It literally cries out. So you need to break your routine and try new things! I've recently discovered that I'm always seated. Therefore I now commit to a walking schedule/join a gym!

I understand that people have bigger regrets but I truly believe that if you know what they are, you can turn your life around from that regret if you eliminate the problem that's causing it. If people won't allow you, move away from them and go to an area where you can grow and make progress in your life that is inspired by that regret. Thinking about something you can't change, won't change it!!

Don't let an hour go by in pity! Do more and be more!!

xx

Oxford Wine

Hi everyone!

You know I usually shy away from full face make-up because I don’t believe I can slay yet. I want to learn how to be more confident in it but I’m just not that focused on it. It gets so busy at work that I go to work bare-faced and trust me that isn’t good for me when a cute client shows up at our office!

So to keep things simple I now stick to a normal mascara, nude lip and eye liner routine but whenever I feel like doing some extra effort I usually go for a faint shimmery smokey eye. I have huge eyelids which is a dream for some MUA’s and I just never experiment with it.

So for today’s look I used:

·         Avroy Shlain Dark Concealer

·         Colors Foundation (from Clicks/Foshini)

·         Essence eye shadow palette in Bronze

·         Essence I love Extreme crazy volume mascara

·         Avroy Shlain ColorFull eye shadow in Black

·         Avroy Shlain brow liner in Brown

·         Avon lipstick in Oxford Wine

·         Avroy Shlain Coppelia matte lipgloss

·         Avroy Shlain lip liner in Grape

·         Avroy Shlain blush in Brown

I would definitely wear this on a night out! The lip colour is so bold and daring and absolutely perfect for autumn nights! To lighten up the look I would definitely add a hat to be make it light and fun!!

I definitely want to start filming soon and a big part of that is to not look like I just woke up! So I’ll definitely be experimenting with make-up looks (WARNING: It might remain the same!!)

So what do you guys think of the products? Do they get the job done?

10 things that WASTE your TIME!

Hi everyone!

Recently I had to face the fact that I have 24 hours just like everyone else but it just seems like I have less time at the end of the day. It made me feel ineffective and so depressed because I have all these plans but my time management skills are not on par with my plans and dreams.

So sometimes it helps to account for all the time available to you. To make an example I’ll use my Mondays.

As you can see, work takes up the majority of my time. And I always try to get about 7 hours of sleep because I’m miserable with less!! Been trying to cut down to 6 because of my studies but it just hasn’t happened. Plus I’ve also been trying to sleep without having the TV on. Which has been a long process but it’s finally happening!

So a few things could be wasting that 3.5 hours of free time you have in that precious 24 hour cycle.

1.       Watching repeating shows. Look Friends has been on the airways for like what...a 100 years? But we keep on watching The One Chandler marries Monica over and over again. They already made money on that episode that first or second time you watched it!!

2.       Taking a nap when you’re not sleepy. Maybe it’s because I’ve never mastered a nap but taking a nap that will not amount to anything is so frustrating! Most times I end up waking up and doing what I was doing before.

3.       Endless gossip. If you haven’t noticed, gossiping takes time and it’s the real juicy gossip that takes even more time. I’ve been accused a lot about being an impatient gossip listener but I just can’t spend hours listening to that. Just tell me the piece at the end where my jaw drops.

4.       Wishing you could change something. I’m the biggest victim to this because it takes me a while to accept things for what they are and until recently loved ones for who they are. I just grew up in my own world because I was an extreme introvert for most of my life. So accepting a situation promotes a realistic opportunity to come up with real solutions so that your life can move on.

5.       Social Media. Look we’re always on our phones…so that’s not the problem. The problem is when Study Time becomes Instagram time. And I’m a huge victim to this. I literally feel like I have a serious case of FOMO! These days I just give someone my phone until I can get this under control!!

6.       Looking for something to wear. This takes soooo much time in the morning!! One of the reasons why I’m always late! On the mornings when I picked out something the night before I find that I’m on time and less frustrated!

7.       Trolling Youtubers and bloggers. Think about that 5- 10 minutes you wasted trying to break a person’s spirit. You could have used it to build up yours seeing that your powers to break it comes from you! Ever since I started blogging I eventually started seeing that it’s just better to unfollow rather than spend all your time not liking someone’s content! Find someone else you like and uplift them!

8.       Internal Turmoil. I used to suffer from this FOR YEARS. Up to the point where I’ll have a serious case of heartburn! I never want to hurt people but sometimes people just force the worse out of you. Even though at the time you were standing up for yourself you later on spend hours thinking about what you said to them. If you’re wrong – apologize. If not – then accept what you said and move on!!

9.       Bad Friends. We’ve all had that friend that does nothing in return for you!! All they do is take/receive and all you do is give - up until one day you have nothing to show for it!! You will see it on the day when you need them the most – they will typically not drop everything for you even if you’ve shifted your universe for something less urgent for them. Realize that it’s time to walk away.

10.   Not cleaning after yourself.  If you make a mess, don’t you realize that future time needs to be used to clean it up? When I’m not feeling well, you can tell by my room. I sometimes say that the state it is in, represent how I feel. But when I wake up and I’m blessed with a new day I have to use time out of that day to clean up yesterday’s mess!!! What a waste of time!!

11.   EXTRA ONE – Do not spend time worrying about tomorrow. That is such a waste of time. Instead spend your time planning and always leave room to be surprised and blessed! And also be prepared to deal with challenges in a positive manner!!

Hope this helps!!

xx

Avon Matte Lipstick Review

Hi Everyone!!

There’s nothing I love more than receiving an order! Tried to rush this one but I ended up receiving it quite late but it’s like the wait was never even there. We’ve all seen the ads and the instagram selfies and I am quite a huge fan of Avon lipsticks so when the matte colours first came out I thought I was going to let it pass by. But they had some really nice colours so I just had to try it out for myself!

I’m quite impressed with the packaging because the exterior also looks mattified (lol!) so there was definitely some creative ideas going into it. I got the AuNaturale, which is a huge risk for me because most people (who don’t even wear make-up by the way) had the opinion that might make you look hungry. And I sort of understood that point from the view of how it would look like on darker skin tones. So I’m definitely excited to try it out and to see if it will blend well with my skin.

Then I also Splendidly Fuchsia because I’ve been looking for bright pink for winter. So why not start with a matte lipstick? It looks so beautiful and so full of colour and all I think about is how amazing it would look with an all black pairing so that it can stand out. I’m definitely using it in my next styling post! Stay tuned for that!

So these were my first impressions. 

I love the deep pink shade because it stands out and it ever so present! I also loved how it doesn’t completely dry out and remains quite moisturizing after 2 hours without re-application. All it made me do though was make me wish I had a lipliner because I only have a deep plum one so it would not have gone well with this shade.

I did find it quite difficult to apply the nude shade because it just looked ‘out of place’. Could’ve been that it did not go with my skin tone or other possible reasons. It was only when I started minimising it that I managed to be okay with how it looked.

Hope you guys enjoyed this review. I’m definitely looking forward to obtaining the other colours but I think this time I’m going to stick to the berry and deep plum shades!

What do you guys think?

How to handle a strained relationship with siblings

Hi everyone

Writing about something quite personal today but not talking about it isn’t helping so hopefully after this post I can finally let it go and I encourage you to do the same if you can relate to it. These days I try not to watch Keeping up with the Kardashians anymore because time is of the essence and I have to spend it building my future. And I promised myself that I wouldn’t watch repeats/marathons anymore. I will never get that time back!

So in developing my time management a bit I found that I’m always stressed about my siblings. This is the part that I hate about being first born. Your life never belongs to you. It’s nice if you and your siblings get along. I’ve always wanted that. But it’s not what I’ve been given so I need to adapt to it.

Several things can cause siblings to not get along. Most common things are comparisons (especially amongst twins or if there’s a black sheep and a ‘Your Majesty’ or if the last born gets all the attention or if there’s an academic and a creative). Some people struggle with more serious things like issues in mixed families (in terms of parents who re-marry) and people who grew up with struggles with deceases or disabilities or even drug use.

I was hoping to only cater for my situation in this post but as I’m opening up about I’m realizing that people struggle each day with any of the above mentioned things and I just fit into one (misplaced dependence). But I’m hoping that what I’ll be implementing to make effective changes in my life will also help you.

1.       Everyone is a breaking point

I think we all want to help because no-one wants to see their family struggle or not have anything. But sooner or later you’ll realize that you are reaching or you’ve reached a point where you have nothing else to give and because you’ve always given, that family member feels a sense of entitlement to your possessions or earnings. It’s a hard thing to stop but if you go into debt trying to take care of a person who is capable (therefore not disabled to the point where they can’t take care of themselves) then you have to realize that a line should’ve been drawn when there was still time.

2.       You are not their parent

It’s not enough to just think it. You have to say it to them. So that they realize that you did not give birth to them and therefore you do not need to maintain them. It sounds harsh right? But at this moment my father (who is my brother’s parent) said to him that he will never give him another red cent until he starts to take money seriously. But now I have to replace that source of income? NO!! When they call you needing something, say to him/her: “Ask your mom/dad.” It’s simple. If they care about you at all they will realize at this point that you can no longer take care of them.

3.       Be able to predict

I know this sounds awful but before he pens anything on any piece of paper he will start with the date when I get paid so that before the sun even comes up there’s an emergency sounding text on phone. Like clockwork, before you can even take out your tithe you’ll hear the knock on the door. Usually this is after they spent ALL of their income on things that only have their name written on it (or their luxuries). And you're stuck covering their necessities!! But that’s not enough. They have to get a piece of yours. Without even noticing they become a fixed cost – like rent and electricity.

4.       Get a friend

If you are unable to say NO (me) then put controls in place so that when you’re overthrown you can have a voice of reason. (I’m giving this a test run…we’ll see if it works).

5.       Control Communication

This is also another big issue because I’m big on communication. So not talking to my brother has caused me a great deal of stress but I hate myself if I enable him because then I’m not teaching him to value me and to value my hard work. You know, when we were young and my mom would give us each halves of a Bar-One, he would devour his piece only to have more of mine. It seemed insignificant then but now it’s exactly the same. So it’s important to bend the tree while you’re still able to do so.

I just find myself exhaling properly for the first time this week which indicates to me that not only did writing this make me feel better but it also helped to feel unburdened which is also the point of my blog.  Also see Heart vs Mind. to help you follow through on decisions you make!

Let me know below if you no longer feel helpless!

xx