How to survive the deep need to withdraw

Hi everyone!!

I hope you’re all well! Recently I went to take a personality test and I have to say I learnt more from it that what I thought I would. Originally I went so that I could learn more about myself and others in order to work more effectively in a group.

So basically after the test it seemed like I fell into the 2 categories that explained more or less how I feel/behave. At first it was so overwhelming to realize how I do exactly what it said I do when I encounter different things like stress and how I work with other people.

So today I thought I’d address one of those elements.

If you’re like me and you withdraw when you encounter stress, I need you to know that that’s okay.

Last year I faced one of the biggest challenges in my life and looking back now I could go on and on about how I could’ve handled it better but thinking about how I felt in the situation back then I think I would’ve done the exact same thing.

There are those people who wake up in the morning and faced the same challenge as I did head on, while I walked around not being aware of what was happening until it was too late. I remember that when it was time for tests I needed to use sleeping pills because the stress made me a professional insomniac. There were times where I couldn’t sleep for 3 days at a time. I would literally watch my roommate fall asleep, wake up, go about her day, fall asleep and wake up…all while I was wide awake.

This year I’m sort of facing a similar dilemma. Not as hectic but I think I’ve had a few withdrawal symptoms and I think I now know how to handle them better. These tips are not to change who you are but to help you cope better with withdrawal.

1.     Plan.

I think we tend to be less anxious when we know what’s going to happen. So it helps to have ‘your version’ of how it’s going to go down. If you are not sure what will be required of you, the best way is to ASK so that you how to go about it

2.     Fear of the unknown.

If you’re always anxious about the unknown/the immediate future and everything after you’ll need to face it (with help from step 1) and to make yourself accept it because if you don’t, the hours will seem longer and will struggle to process any new information/instructions because you’re still resistant to take a leap. This is the hardest part because it goes against everything your behaviour of withdrawal wants to do.

3.     Adapt

Also hard but can be done in steps. Take in the environment, its people, its behaviours and then adjust yours accordingly. If you’re lucky there’ll be one or two people that will make you feel welcome which will help you let your guard down. If not then look for a person similar to you and start with an ice breaker. (Hey, what’s your name? Where are you from? That usually works)

4.     Take control.

Use the plan that you had. Now that you’ve familiarized yourself with your new surrounding you’re now able to be yourself more. You know what you need to do and you can ASK if you don’t understand.

5.     Get enough sleep

It’s so exhausting to pretend like you’re not a withdrawal person that it takes up quite a huge chunk of energy to keep it up. In the first few days of being in unfamiliar territory you’ll need to rest up because if one thing goes wrong your anxiety emotions might take over and dissolve all the hard work you’ve put in to look in control of a chaotic situation.

I think these few things really helped me in the past week and can help you too. Let me know what you think and also add a few ideas that you’ve had to use in order to cope.

Till next time.

xx