Hi everyone!
It’s been a minute! As we speak I’m sitting in front of a
heater trying to keep warm. Nelspruit has NEVER been this cold. Last year I got
a fan heater and barely used it. This year has been pretty interesting. I
haven’t even gotten used to say that I’m 25 because I barely got time to
celebrate it but things are definitely looking up, finally!
I always feel like I have to careful about what I share
online now but like I’ve said before – my channel and blog is all about being
open because I tend to be closed off and I started my blog because I didn’t
want to be that way anymore. You guys know that every year is hard for me and
I’ve always sort of had a meltdown about it. This year, however, it has gone
quite a bit weird.
I bought a car last year and having it was quite hard. I was
super scared of driving so if I could walk rather than drive, I would walk. And
I never went to work with it because it would force me to drive my colleagues
around and the reimbursements for that were never guaranteed. And before long I
was forced to sell it in order to get my financials back on track.
So in December I had to kick out my brother because he was
never reliable and he always put his friends before his family. And when the
time came for them to do the same they kicked out like day old turkey which was
a good opportunity for a lesson learned
for him. So then no matter how much I advertised I did not get someone to fill
his room by January so the whole month’s rent was on me which was really
devastating.
Then I tried to survive from that and got someone in
February but finances still kicked my butt because my family lived with me for
5 months and in that time I maxed out my credit card. A definite bad call and
also filed under Lesson Learned. So then I finally sold my car but had a 20k
shortfall on it which was the best deal I could get at the time. That hard time
also taught me a lot about cars. Now by this time I’d been trying to sell it
since February. It finally happened in April and I had to survive the rest of
the month with the installment of the car already subtracted from my account.
Then at the end of that month I had to go to my cousin’s
wedding that I only found out about in March that I couldn’t miss. Fortunately
my mom was able to secure some cash on credit so that she can save me on the
car and that also allowed me to go to the wedding. Then I was able to pay her
since then sort of half of what my car’s shortfall was worth seeing that my
contract ends in January (So I can only afford to make payments till January).
So that’s what I’ve been doing since end of April.
During this time I’ve had additional issues. I haven’t been
going to church, both my phones stopped working and I’ve become a total
pessimist. My channel has been on a standstill and I was just not able to talk
about it because I was trying not to be a mess in order to function properly at
work and to appear normal which is of great personal growth to me. I normally
crack at the first sign of a problem. And only fix it months later. I also had
assignments and exams during this time and had great marks but I haven’t had
money to pay tuition in order to see if I’ve passed or not but that will also
get solved in the time when it does.
My biggest lesson in all of this is definitely to calm the f
down. I’m always like a champagne bottle when it’s opened. I always run over.
But now I’ve had to be okay with things I can’t change. For example – I’ve
always wanted to learn how to highlight and contour. But without the proper
funds and ‘good debt’ I’ve had to put it on hold for a year now. I’ve learned
how to do my own hair and be okay with not shopping for clothes. My bedroom has
looked the same for the past 2 years and I’ve had to be okay with that too. If
you know how much I like décor you’d know how much of a slow burn that is for
me. So basically I’ve just had to be okay with basics. I haven’t done that
since the first few months of varsity in 2010!!
IT’S OKAY.
That’s become my 2 most spoken words. They save my life
every day.
They can do the same for you!
One day at a time,
Love
