It’s been soo sooo hard to get a minute lately. In the week, we have back to back work assignments that never end and over the weekend I wake up towards the afternoon because I’m convinced that if I don’t, then I’ll forget what sleep is like and that can never happen. On one hand I also feel that in order to work full time and grow my channel this year I’ll need to give up sleeping longer but my oh so amazing job requires additional energy and I really to recharge otherwise the burn out will be oh so real.
Side note: I’ve said oh so too many times.
Instead of complaining about it, I’ve become more invested because this is my last year(finally) and I really need to get this period of my life over with. I also know that it’s bad to say that because I should always be in pursuit of happiness but I don’t have the trust fund and high risk personality to do so. So I go through the motions and it can get really dark. Today will just be of a typical day. You know how people hate Mondays? The last 3 years have been permanent Mondays.
Typically in the morning I spend an hour snoozing my alarm which actually makes me more tired in the end because my body goes in and out of consciousness and by the time I wake up everything is still slow and I'm extra tired.
These days I make my coffee at home to stop spending money on coffee at work. Which has really helped because it makes me feel full till around 11am. In future it would be ideal to exchange this for a filling smoothie as soon as I have the blender of my dreams!!
On a really slow day I already start feeling down around just before 11am. I wish it was something I could control. At this time I’ve probably been sitting for 3 hours doing something really mindless while everyone talks about breaking political news which is the worst kind of news.
By 1pm or even an hour before that I’m already out of the office to breathe in all the fresh air I can first come into contact with and then all of the available air. Sometimes I would go to lunch by myself just to disconnect and plan my blog or my channel or sometimes I would invite a friend.
Then it’s the race for 5pm – I actually get the most work done during this time because I guess it has a reward of going home! It’s also when the office is the quietest because people are either trying to stay awake after a massive lunch or they need to chase a 5pm deadline so that they don't work overtime that they will later not be allowed to take leave for (unfortunately on a learnership you can't get a labour law lawyer to defend you).
I am probably first out the door at 4:58pm because I need to get to my safe place. I sometimes take work home and then I never do it until the following morning so that I can remain productive when I’m at work because I’m normally the first person to get there!
As soon as I get home my first priority is to do some breathing exercises (when I’m too stressed) or to take off my work clothes and get comfy to study(when my heart rate is normal) or to prepare a soothing candle-lit bath(when everything is on fire).
Today has been a fire day. And it’s all my spheres. Family. Work. Finances. Studies. Insomnia. Bad Diet. Productivity.
But in an hour I can close my eyes and forget about it and try to fix it one at a time!
Almost Bed Time.