You heard all the complaints but never knew why, so today is that day! Working out of town really makes you appreciate time. It’s winter now so it’s darker much earlier and we’re always stuck in traffic (I just can’t get used to that) and we’re a team so we have to accommodate each other. So by the time you try to squeeze in a few shots it’s already 9:30pm and now you have to plan for a new day.
So while I’m here I’ve been thinking a lot about why I don’t like my 9-5. And I can already tell that writing this will be an emotional rollercoaster but I live and die by the power of the written word so let’s hope that by the end of this, there will be magical feel better powder in the air.
1. I’m more creative than numerical
I don’t know much about design and the whole explosion of the digital world of blogging but I know it’s a world I want to get lost in and wouldn’t mind working my way up but in my line of work you need to be sure and accurate and you need to solve everything mathematically or through legislation.
2. You never stop studying
It creates super tunnel vision because you have no time for anything else until you qualify. You can tell by the time you graduate (for the first time) if it’s for you or not. And I could tell much earlier on and that’s what’s making this more gruelling for me. When you stay, you stay because you have passion or it’s a stepping stone for something better.
3. It doesn’t come as advertised.
I think 99% of my friends can tell you that what we do is not what we thought we’d be doing after varsity.
4. The travelling is exhausting
This is totally subjective because my colleagues love the travelling aspect. Living out of a bag strips me from the freedom of having my own space and expressing myself. I’m willing to move anywhere but I’d like to stay put as much as possible (except when I’m going away on holiday of course). I’m really hoping this will change once I start doing the job of my soul’s dream.
5. It’s ruining Morning Person-ISM
Ever since I took the plunge and turned into a morning person I really add value to my mornings because I have to think about what I’m grateful for. TRUST ME nothing is worse than waking up to a passionless job.
6. You become a grumpy gremlin
I’m a happy person. Generally. So spending 8 hours not happy really takes a toll on your mojo. I find myself so mean and self-destructive. I complain and cry forever. I spend even more time in isolation. I don’t return calls/e-mails. I ruin my blog schedule and never make time to make an effort.
7. You wish it was 3 years later
I’m like legit scared of aging (working on it) but I’ve never wished for time to go faster as much as I do now. It makes me realize how unhappy I am. I always feel tense like something bad is about to happen. I’m always glad when the month is over rather than savouring the moment and really living in it.
8. If your heart doesn’t tell you, your body will.
When I’m sad/heartbroken I experience a lot of heartburn. I don’t know why. So then now that I’ve just been going through months and months of confusion, I’ve seen my body change so much. When I look in the mirror now, the accumulated result of my self-destruction makes me really sad.
9. I’m always happier on my way home than to work
Literally, when I’m on my way home I will sing in the car and start making plans and just be generally happy. It’s like a trigger. Like a high. It doesn’t even matter if it’s a weekend filled with me establishing myself on the couch with a bucket of popcorn. That would be the highlight of the week.
10. Your Spirit is in turmoil.
I legit have never been at such crossroads. And being here while adulting has been the hardest thing ever. You just can’t make choices at a whim. You need to think about the consequences that it would cause you (wouldn’t mind dealing with those) but also of your family (who are each facing their own challenges).
You know I’m so glad I got through this without crying. Or, I could be all dried up. Lol! Either way I feel a little more air going through my chest after releasing this so I truly hope it will do the same for you if we have some things in common or even if it helps you understand a friend or family member!
All the best!